Regarding companionship, " reader " says this: companionship is very warm, it means that in this world, someone is willing to give you the best thing, that is time.
Companyship is the longest confession of love. Whether it is parents, children or the other half, they all long for our company.
The New Year is approaching again, and the Spring Festival is the most important festival, which represents reunion. As the old saying goes, whether you have money or not, go home for the New Year. Many people have already embarked on the road home.
Especially those who have been wandering away for a year, naturally miss their parents, miss the warmth of home, long for their parents' care, and long for a happy New Year by their parents' side.
Just like there is a sentence in " Dear Andre ": Parents, for a person in his twenties, I am afraid it is like an old house. You live in it, it protects you from wind and rain, and gives you warmth and safety.
However, home makes you miss it and makes you long to go back because of love, because it is very warm to you and can bring you happiness. However, not all homes are so warm, and not everyone loves their children so much.
Some homes bring people pain and suffocation. Children just want to escape, let alone go back.
"It's been three years, and you haven't come back to celebrate the New Year. You said you celebrated the New Year on the spot, and you found a lot of excuses not to come back during the holidays. Are you being honest? If you don't come back this year, you will never come back."
Recently, Liu Lili's mother couldn't wait to call three times a day to ask when Liu Lili would come home. Seeing that Liu Lili couldn't give a specific return date, her mother became anxious, thinking that her daughter didn't want to go back, and scolded her for being unfilial.
01.
Maybe, knowing that Liu Lili has not been home for three years, you will also feel that Liu Lili is unfilial. After all, no matter how busy she is at work or how serious the epidemic is, it is not the reason why she has not gone back to see her parents for three years. There are only two explanations for not returning for three years. One is carelessness, forgetting the kindness of parents in raising children and not caring about their parents. The other is intentional, deliberately avoiding parents.
Indeed, Liu Lili is the latter. It's not that she has no chance to go back, but she doesn't want to go back at all: "I don't know what evil I did in my previous life to be reborn in a family that values boys over girls."
Liu Lili's birth was caused by her parents' selfish thoughts. At that time, they already had a son and chose to have a second child. They had two thoughts. If it was a son, the two brothers could support each other for a lifetime, and the capable ones would take care of the incompetent ones. If it's a daughter, it's a good chance that she can be a cash cow for her son, and he won't have to worry about anything when he gets a wife and has children.
When she was young, all the good food, drinks, and fun things belonged to her elder brother. Not only did Liu Lili own nothing, but even the personal belongings given to her by relatives and friends had to be handed over as long as her elder brother took a fancy to them. Otherwise, she would be scolded, or her things would be robbed, or she would be beaten.
Brother does not need to do housework, but Liu Lili must seize the time to do her homework, and then wash, cook and sweep the floor until late at night, but her grades cannot drop.
"My parents said that if I don't get into a good university, don't miss it. They will send me to a factory or marry me directly in exchange for a bride price. For me, studying is the only way to change my destiny."
02.
Nine years ago, Liu Lili was admitted to the best university in the province, and she finished college with her own work-study program and scholarship. In fact, her parents only paid Liu Lili's tuition for the first year, but they kept asking Liu Lili for help.
"My parents must be very angry. I didn't become a cash cow for my son as they imagined. I learned to resist and say no to their and my brother's unreasonable demands."
Her parents were very annoyed by Liu Lili's resistance. In order to control their daughter, they went to Liu Lili's workplace, made trouble no less than ten times, ruined Liu Lili's three jobs, and worked hard to ruin Liu Lili's reputation.
"My monthly salary is 7,000, and they want 5,000. Have you ever thought about how I can survive? Just two years after I graduated, they left me with the responsibility of finding a wife for their son and asked me to provide the money. Where will I get the money? Robbery for money. Is that okay? They scolded me all day long for making less money and reading books in vain. Their son’s income was less than half of mine. Are they willing to scold me? "
Liu Lili was extremely disappointed by her parents and felt exhausted from the struggle with them, so she chose to hide from her parents.
changed her mobile phone number and no longer told anyone her address and company location. Liu Lili's parents could not find a place where they could cause trouble. They could only control their daughter when she came back. The lion opened his mouth and naturally tried every means to force Liu Lili to go home whenever he had the opportunity.
03.
"If you go back once, you will lose 20,000 yuan, I really can't afford it."
Liu Lili still remembers that three years ago, under the urging of her parents, she went back to her parents' house to celebrate the New Year. After arriving home, she had no chance to rest, so she was dragged to farmers' markets, shopping malls, bookstores and other places. Her parents and brother-in-law picked things, and Liu Lili paid the bill.
Liu Lili saw that they bought too much and felt that it was too much to finish. She tried to persuade her several times, but her parents did not listen at all and just asked Liu Lili to pay the bill.
"My sister-in-law is also interested in a 6000 mobile phone. She only bought the mobile phone a year ago. My brother asked me to buy it, but I refused. My sister-in-law started crying and said she wanted to go back to her parents' home. However, my mother immediately laid down. She started crying on the ground, "What can I do?"
Her parents still didn't think it was enough. Throughout the year, they kept trying to find out how much money Liu Lili had and where she worked. This made Liu Lili exhausted, and she was a hundred times more tired during the New Year than at work.
"You have a family, so you want to go back. But, I don't have a family, so why go back? I have thought clearly, no matter how much trouble my parents make this time or what they say, I will not go back."
04.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong writes in the new book "With Another Person" "Talk to Yourself" mentioned that escape is very important, "make good use of this freedom. If your family makes you feel suffocated, you can go back less often, or even not at all. This will force some elderly people in the family to bow to their children."
We cannot choose our native family, but life is still in our hands. Therefore, the key is not how your parents view you, but how you view yourself.
It is indeed difficult to accept that your parents do not love you, but the fact is the fact. No matter how hard you try to deny or escape, it will not help. You must face it head-on to find a solution to the problem.
END.
Today’s topic: Do you have any good advice for Liu Lili? Feel free to share your views in the comment area.
