Author: Shi Er (author of Fushu)
Once read a sentence online:
"When you find a person, he can understand everything you say, your thoughts are very consistent with him, making you feel as if you have found a soulmate.
Then, there is a great possibility that you have met a person whose IQ and EQ are above you, and he is actually backward compatible with you."
I am sincerely saying that when communicating with people with a large difference in cognition, people with low EQ often show disdain in their words and suppress others to set off themselves.
And people with high emotional intelligence often choose to lower themselves, take care of others' feelings, communicate with each other equally, and make the other person feel comfortable.
Many times we rely on our own advantages to stand at a high level and constantly guide others, but we don’t know that this will not win others’ favor.
Knowing backward compatibility is the embodiment of a person's high emotional intelligence, and it is also a rare education and kindness.
Really high emotional intelligence people know how to be backward compatible
London City University President Mark Anderson once said: "A true master is willing to put himself low and listen, understand, accept and recognize."
Indeed, the reason why excellent people are deeply respected by others is because they are in a high position but are not proud, full of talent but not frivolous and arrogant, and understand and respect other people's views.
When we just worked for a year, our team was fortunate to receive a big shot in the industry at that time with our boss and introduce our team’s creative plans to the other party.
The overall atmosphere throughout the meeting was very comfortable. When we reported, this senior always kept his body forward and listened carefully to our story.
When the atmosphere is cold, he will also mobilize the atmosphere, talk about the advantages of our team's planning plan, and encourage us to think divergently.
After the report, he also helped us point out what needs improvement. He was always humble and polite, with a polite and gentle tone, and had no superior attitude at all. Although the cooperation was not successful at that time, I still appreciated him since then.
Because looking back at the planning at that time, it was not only immature but also full of loopholes. Our plans and ideas must be within the other party's experience, but he did not expose them in public, but instead raised us privately to save us newcomers from embarrassment.
Many times, the so-called high emotional intelligence is nothing more than in interpersonal communication. When two people with different cognitive levels meet, the party at the same time can express their thoughts sincerely, and take into account the feelings of the party at the same time, making each other feel comfortable.
backward compatibility is a respect that knows people without saying anything, and a kindness that sees through and doesn't say it out loud. Interacting with others and knowing how to take care of others is the cornerstone of a relationship for a long time.
downward compatible, it is the best way to break the barrier
There is a noun in psychology called " South Wind Effect ".
The south wind is more powerful than the north wind, and it depends on who can let passers-by take off their coats.
The north wind blew, and people wrapped their clothes tighter and tighter; the south wind blew slowly and the weather was warm, so people naturally took off their clothes.
"South Wind Effect" tells us a simple truth. is more easy-going than tough attitudes and methods when getting along with people.
Sometimes, backward compatibility is also a way of expression. The more easy-going a person is, the more people can let go of their guard, eliminate barriers, and make them get along more harmoniously.
Some time ago, in a private room of a hotel in Xiamen , a large table of leftovers left after the customer left. A waiter in the restaurant was preparing to clean up the table after waiting for the customer to leave.
Maybe I was hungry after working for a long time, or maybe I felt like I wasted seeing too many leftovers. The waiter saw that there was no one around, so he took a pair of chopsticks and ate a few bites of leftovers.
Accordingly, at this time, the boss went upstairs to find someone. The waiter was eating vegetables with his back to the door, but he didn't notice that the private room was open. When the boss came in, the waiter happened to be caught by the boss in his hand and the leftovers in his hand.
The waitress who was caught by the boss was at a loss for a moment and stood aside, and the atmosphere was once in awkward.
Unexpectedly, the boss signaled the waiter to sit down, and he picked up the chopsticks and started eating leftovers. While eating, he had a cordial conversation with the waiter, which suddenly resolved the embarrassment and made the atmosphere very warm and touching.
This seemingly random action made netizens like him. The boss's little actions not only make employees feel warm, but also make employees feel the boss's respect from the bottom of their hearts.
Managers know how to be tolerant will make the team more cohesive. Sometimes the boss’s heartfelt respect can gain the following of employees more than a high salary.
The more powerful a person is, the more he knows backward compatibility. They will consider people in low positions and lower themselves when others are in distress to avoid embarrassing others.
When a person is in a high position, he can not blame others easily, and use empathy . Compassion to treat the weak and tolerate the unevenness of the world, it will make it easier for them to gain the trust of others, shorten the sense of distance between them, and break the barriers.
is backward compatible, which is the wisdom of the governor to keep his word and the consideration of putting his heart in mind. Only by interacting with others and knowing how to save face for others can the relationship between people be more harmonious.
Learn to be backward compatible and master social password
Master Hongyi once said: "Thoughts are not at the same height, there is no need to convince each other, just respect each other with silence. The three views are not at the same level, there is no need to understand each other, just tolerate each other with a smile."
Human joys and sorrows are not the same, but many people usually desire to get the understanding of others.
When you meet people with large cognitive disparities, don’t criticize and discriminate, learn to be backward compatible, make others comfortable, and make your social interaction more smooth.
If you want to be backward compatible but don’t know how to do it, you might as well try the following three methods, maybe you can easily master social passwords.
1. Control the desire to refute
When we can't control our desire to refute and are used to saying "no" to other people's words and deeds, it will increase the psychological burden on others and kill the desire to communicate with you.
When others discuss your opinions, you can try to avoid answering others with rhetorical questions. Try to give the other party a positive answer first and then express your own opinions.
When others are sincerely sharing a point of view with you, don’t pour cold water on others, and don’t belittle the other person’s preferences. Even if you really don’t like it, don’t say it in front of the other person.
Learn to quit the desire to refute others, respect "dissent", affirm others more and deny them less, which is the real high emotional intelligence.
2. Think from the perspective of others
" Kill a Mockingbird " says:
"You can never fully understand a person unless you stand in his shoes and think from his perspective."
Real thinking from the perspective of others is not just about changing one's perspective, but also bringing yourself into the other's situation.
When you are about to have an argument with someone, first give yourself a "pause" gesture in your heart.
Then in your heart, replace yourself in the other person's position, pretend that you are the other person, stand from a relative perspective, and experience the other person's thoughts and feelings. Think of another plan that both parties can accept.
When we learn to think from the perspective of others in the process of talking to others, we will not only make the other party in the conversation feel comfortable, but also make every conversation an excellent interpersonal communication.
3. Lower yourself
Wang Yangming said: "Thousands of sins and all evils come from pride."
In life, you are most afraid of arrogance and arrogant. You will inevitably be criticized by others and cannot tolerate it from the outside world.
Letting yourself down is not to be humble, but to maintain a humble attitude, leaning over and practicing, maintaining a sharp mind without showing off, being high but not self-reliant, and leaving others a sense of superiority.
In social interaction, learn to lower your posture and not be condescending. It can effectively dissolve the sense of distance between you and others, which will also create the necessary conditions for yourself to succeed.
Fools will only lift themselves up; wise people will know how to lower themselves. Learning to appear in front of others in a low posture can easily gain the other person's favor and achieve social success.
The famous American psychologist Daniel Gorman said in "Emotional Intelligence ": "The degree to which you feel comfortable determines the height you can reach."
It is true that our attitude towards the world and others determines the height of our lives.
learns to be backward compatible and make others feel comfortable is the noblest cultivation.
When speaking, you know people without saying anything, and give others three points of decentness. This is a kind of cultivation.
When doing things, you are not fully exposed, making people look three-pointed and humble to yourself. This is a kind of cleverness.
When you are a person, you don’t blame others if you are right, and you are kind to others. This is a kind of wisdom.
knows backward compatibility, which not only makes others comfortable and yourself happy. This is the highest level of being a human being.
Author profile : Shier, Fu Shu Columnist, A ordinary child who loves writing, is loving the world , New book "Life Good" is being sold hot, and it is upgrading its life awareness with 5 million people. This article: Fu Shu, the copyright of this article belongs to Fu Shu, and it is not allowed to be reproduced without authorization. Infringement will be pursued.
