People say "Life is like drinking water, you know your own warmth and coldness", and so does family. Only you can see the happiness, happiness, pain and grievances at home comprehensively. If you speak nonsense to the outside world, it is very likely that you will be happy for a while but lose your happiness.
Family is the beginning of life, the source of joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness, the redemption of the soul, and the concern for a lifetime.
Family is the way of coming and the destination; home is the protection and the belonging.
Happy families need to be managed, family members love each other and are independent of each other; unfortunate families are selfish and have no scruples in their words.
Leo Tolstoy wrote in "Anna Karenina ":
"Happy families are similar, and unfortunate families have their own misfortunes."
Think carefully, it is true.
The biggest sorrow of a family is not that they have no money or quarrels, but that they tell outsiders these 3 privacy!
Complaint with outsiders about the shortcomings of your partner
The old saying goes, there is no bowl that does not touch the edge of the pot. It is inevitable that couples will have bumps and bumps in their lives.
. No matter how fierce the quarrel or how ruthless the quarrels were, try not to complain to outsiders about their partner’s shortcomings.
I have seen a story:
Lao Li Xiaozhao is a pair of DINK , an old couple, young wife.
Old Li is fifteen years older than Xiao Zhao.
At the beginning, it was not favored by everyone. Xiao Zhao's parents were not satisfied with this "older" son-in-law, and felt that it had harmed his daughter and did not agree with their marriage.
Lao Li is a painter, and Xiao Zhao likes to watch him draw.
Xiao Zhao secretly got her certificate with Lao Li, but she didn't hold a wedding. More than ten years have passed in a flash.
Like most couples, they also get tired of it. In the past, even if they quarrel the day before, they would be as reconciled the next day.
But this time it is different. Xiao Zhao has ignored Lao Li for a week.
The reason is that Lao Li complained to his friend about the pain of marrying his girlfriend while drunk, saying that Xiao Zhao was too lazy, did not clean and had no ambition, and knew that he would eat and wait for death.
is getting more and more aggressive, not giving his parents face, and always scolding him in front of others...
Xiao Zhao feels that he was blind at the beginning and found a poor painter like Lao Li who has no money and can't give him home.
The conflict that the two of them accumulated for many years finally broke out in Lao Li's unrestrained complaint.
This time, no one endured anyone or gave in to anyone.
both of them said heartbreaking words fiercely, revealing each other's shortcomings.
used to be as close as possible, but now I have so much hatred.
Why do I write this story?
is to say that The most taboo thing between a couple is to catch each other's mistakes and refuse to let go.
And the saddest thing is that when each other hurts each other and completely eliminates love, you will be unable to help complaining to outsiders about your partner’s shortcomings and try to get comfort from outsiders.
Outsiders will never empathize with you, they will only watch you jokes.
No matter how fierce you are, it is just a topic of conversation after dinner.
Between husband and wife, one is prosperous and one loses.
complaining to outsiders about the shortcomings of a partner will only make the relationship between husband and wife more tense and eventually lead to an irreversible situation.
Tell outsiders about the conflicts between Zhang's family
Family ugliness should not be made public, and the same is true for conflicts between family members.
Whether it is the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the conflict between children, or the conflict between brothers and sisters, it can be resolved. If you can't resolve
, it's better to stay away from it or never meet again, but don't tell outsiders about the conflicts between the Zhang family.
Blogger @Will it be better to share his own personal experience tomorrow:
Blogger is an only child, a single-parent family, and grew up with his father. When he was 32 years old, he married his girlfriend who had been in love for many years.
My girlfriend has an older brother and my brother-in-law’s family has a son.
A year after marriage, the blogger's wife became pregnant.
The brother-in-law and the blogger's wife were pregnant with the second child almost at the same time.
Who is in charge of mother-in-law has become a big problem, one is the daughter-in-law and the other is the daughter.
Mother-in-law didn't expect that she would be so popular after retirement.
But I really have no skills and can only manage one.
She chose to take care of her daughter, after all, the palms and backs of her hands are all flesh, and it is not easy for her daughter to take care of her without a mother-in-law.
It’s a coincidence that the daughter-in-law and daughter were admitted to the same hospital for delivery.
The blogger's mother-in-law could only take care of her on both sides, and later she became ill and was hospitalized after being tired.
After the mother-in-law was discharged from the hospital, the daughter-in-law couldn't help but complain to outsiders about her mother-in-law's partiality and love her daughter.
After being discharged from the hospital after being ill, he is still taking care of his daughter during the confinement period.
in his tone, he was a little complaining.
This is not an unresolvable contradiction.
The problem is that after outsiders listened to it, they seemed to be persuading them with great sincerity, but in fact they kept talking to their daughter-in-law.
I think this mother-in-law is not doing well, so she is a little too biased.
Then the daughter-in-law complained about her mother-in-law and also reached the ears of her mother-in-law.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law becomes even more tense.
In life, such contradictions are common and are actually not an unsolvable problem.
However, there are thorns in each other's hearts, and no one is willing to say it first. Conflicts accumulate and one day they will explode.
In front of outsiders, you must control your mouth, say what you can and can’t say, and have a scale in your heart.
The world is always more people who care about you than they really care about you.
Only when the family is harmonious can everything prosper.
Show off the wealth of the family to outsiders
Cai Kangyong talked about an experience he had when he was a child:
His parents took him to a rich friend’s house for dinner, and the other party was entertained with good wine and food.
That was the first time Cai Kangyong had eaten shark fin. He thought it was amazing and asked the owner: "What is this? It's so delicious."
The owner gave him an extra bowl and asked him to eat more, and said with a smile: This is the fan. After
, Cai Kangyong succeeded and became famous. I have met many big names and attended many luxurious banquets.
In those dinner parties, they would only hype:
"This is beef, this is caviar, it is very expensive, and it costs thousands of dollars!"
Cai Kangyong then discovered the respectableness of the owner back then.
He did not look down on his ignorance, nor did he show off his wealth and insight.
Why do you say that no matter when, don’t show off your family’s wealth to outsiders?
Because you don’t know who will be jealous of you, and you don’t know what kind of evil intentions will be hidden after someone knows the wealth you have.
Although money is something outside the body, if you show off your money at will, it will also bring unpredictable disasters to people.
People's hearts have never been difficult to predict, and human joys and sorrows are not the same.
When a person is unemployed and sadly unable to himself, maybe you happen to be promoted and raised, and you are so happy;
When a person loses his relatives, maybe your family has ushered in a new life, and you are so happy;
When a person goes bankrupt and is on the verge of collapse, maybe your career is thriving and making money, and you are so happy.
The world has always been differentiated, and people's hearts are also divided.
What you are happy about does not mean that others will be happy too.
People who do not show off must be rich in their hearts.
People who know how to take care of other people's emotions must be kind.
Writer Ikeda Dasaku said:
"The family is the only oasis and place to rest in the soul.”
Don’t complain to outsiders about the shortcomings of your partner, work hand in hand, be content with your happiness;
Don’t talk to outsiders about the conflicts between your family, family harmony, and mutual understanding;
Don’t show off your family’s wealth to outsiders, be at ease with your little wealth, and be at peace with your heart.
The greatest happiness in life is the harmony of your husband and wife, family harmony, and life is peaceful.
The greatest happiness in life is the harmony of your husband and wife, family harmony, and life is peaceful.
