Writer August Chang'an once said: "The easiest thing to make people feel warm and surprised is strangers because you have no expectations of them; the easiest thing to make people feel chilled and sad is relatives because you love them."
When we encounter difficulties, a small act of kindness from strangers can make us extremely moved, and feel very warm and surprised, just because we met them by chance, and we have no ruthlessness. We have never expected the other party to help, and there is no reason to expect the other party to help.
When you encounter difficulties, you need help. The first thing you think of is the closest people, such as parents, spouse, children and other close relatives and friends, and you are full of expectations for them.
However, as there is a saying on the Internet: "The higher the expectations of people, the greater the disappointment, and the psychological gap caused by this is often the root of our pain."
For example, parents always have high expectations for their children. When their children are still in school, parents expect them to achieve good results and get into a good university and have a good job. When children work, parents expect them to have a high income and live a good life. After their children get married and start a business, their parents expect their partner to be filial, be kind to themselves, and be sensible, and hope that they can live a happy life with their grandchildren and the whole family.
However, the higher your expectations for your children, the greater your disappointment may be. Once your children cannot meet your needs, the gap in your heart will be huge and it is easier for you to complain about your children. With more resentment, conflicts will be easier to escalate.
What's more, some parents have high expectations for their children's elderly care, regard raising children to prevent them as their only hope for their elderly care, and try their best to pay for their children, and even take out the pension capital. Once their children are unfilial, they will completely cut off their way out.
"Xiaohui, mom tells you clearly that I will pay the down payment at most. You couple will repay the loan by themselves. If you refuse, just solve the problem of buying a house by yourself! Anyway, it is impossible to ask me to sell the house and buy a house with you in full."
's son was anxious and complained about his mother on the other end of the phone, accusing his mother of not considering her children and grandchildren, saying that his girlfriend would not marry in this way. Aunt Yuan was too lazy to listen to her son's complaints and hung up the phone directly.
01. The son is going to get married. The woman not only needs a 240,000 yuan bride price, but also asks us to buy a house in full;
4 months ago, when Aunt Yuan’s son Lin Zhihui returned to his hometown, he also brought a girl and introduced him to his parents that this was his girlfriend.
Aunt Yuan was very happy when she first met her prospective daughter-in-law. Not only did she warmly entertain her, she made a table of delicious dishes, but she also stuffed 2,000 red envelopes, urging her son to agree on the marriage as soon as possible.
Two months ago, Aunt Yuan met the woman's parents, and both parents agreed to the marriage and entered the stage of discussing marriage. As we all know, the word "money" cannot be separated from the word "blessing" when talking about marriage, and the dowry and wedding house are the big ones.
"Her parents said that they have raised their daughter for 24 years and cannot be raised in vain. They also asked for a 240,000 bride gift. They also said that this is their pension money and they will come back without a dowry. I was reluctant to hear this number. I asked the people around me. Whether they are married or married, the bride gift is not higher than 200,000. Most of them are around 100,000. Her parents have to do it too much."
Not only that, the son's girlfriend suggested that young people are under too much pressure now. They have to raise children, live, and socialize, and their income is not enough to spend. If they bear the mortgage, they cannot survive at all. Therefore, they are required to buy a house with full payment. If they are willing to add her name, their family will be responsible for the decoration. If they do not add, the decoration will be done by the in-laws themselves.
"Oh my God, I bought a house with full payment, but I am still in the city. I don't have one or two million yuan. Can I get it?"
02. My son was fucked and told us that we could live together with the whole family. I was moved and prepared to sell the house;
Lin Zhihui's girlfriend already has a house she likes, and she also asked about the house price. If she wants to win that house, it would take 1.58 million. After hearing this news, Aunt Yuan was even more worried.
"Although our family is not too poor, it is also an ordinary family. They can get a 240,000 yuan bride price, and 1.58 million yuan of house purchase money. If we really buy a house in full, then we can only sell all the house we live in and the house in our hometown county town."
Aunt Yuan's husband disagreed, believing that his son and future daughter-in-law are dependent on his parents: "There is not enough money to spend? Then work hard and earn hard. It's all you spoiled him. He不好好读书的时候，我要揍他，你拼了命阻拦我。现在好了吧，就考上了一所二本，收入连我比不上，能养家糊口吗？你要是再惯着他，不给他点压力，他什么时候能成长起来？”
然而，袁阿姨很担心，要是未来儿媳妇无法接受贷款买房，怎么办，要是这门亲事泡汤了，不知道儿子什么时候能娶到老婆。
Seeing that his mother was hesitant, Lin Zhihui tried to force himself. He was so anxious that he jumped up, and begged hard for a while, and made a promise: "If the house is sold, it will be sold. When the house is completed, you old couple will move in. At that time, we will go to work and you will take care of your grandchildren, not good?"
Thinking of the future, I could live a life of children and grandchildren walking around and having fun with grandchildren. Aunt Yuan was moved and spent all her efforts to convince her husband, planning to sell the house and buy the house for his son in full.
03. After listening to their conversation, I realized that my son, who has been in 26 years, has been in vain.
So, how could Aunt Yuan suddenly change her mind? It was just because of a conversation between the son and his future daughter-in-law.
"That day, I bought an old hen at the vegetable market, cooked chicken soup, and sent it to my son. I heard his conversation with his future daughter-in-law at the door. Not only his future daughter-in-law, but also her mother."
"Xiaohui, I only have a family of 4, don't live with my parents. I can't get along with your parents, and I will quarrel. At that time, it's hard to get stuck in the middle."
"Yes, Xiaohui, I will marry my daughter to you, but It’s not that my daughter is angry with your parents, but that my daughter and your parents live under the same roof. I’m not at ease."
Aunt Yuan was already very angry when he heard the words of his future daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, and his son’s answer made Aunt Yuan feel extremely chill: "Mom, stop talking about you, I don’t want to live with my parents. They are too nagging and meddling too much. But if I don’t say that, they will not sell the house, and I will want to Carrying a mortgage. Don't worry, when the house is bought, isn't Qianqian's final decision?"
" After listening to their conversation, I realized that my son, who has been in 26 years, was raised in vain. This problem was not caused by my daughter-in-law, but by my son and I. It was because I was not good enough. I loved him too much that I would raise such an ungrateful wolf. If I continue to be obsessed with it, I really put all the money on him. When my grandson grows up and we are completely useless, we should be left on the streets!" l2
Just now, Lin Zhihui called again and said that his girlfriend would not do it. If her parents refused to sell the house, don’t ask him to retire in the future. Aunt Yuan answered bluntly: "Then let’s see the court. We have given birth to you and don’t owe you what we do. It is your obligation to support us. Since you say that, then the down payment is gone. Let’s do it yourself!"
04. He has hope for his children who are obviously not grateful, and he is forcing himself to the dead end.
There is a classic line in the movie "The Godfather": "A soft heart without boundaries will only make the other party more capable; a kind person without principles will only make the other party do whatever he wants."
As a parent, he is always kind, has no bottom line to treat his children, and will respond to his children's requests. He will only spoil his children, make them lose their talents, and become people without gratitude.
When they have a need, you are satisfied. They feel that this is your obligation as a parent, and they accept it for granted and will not be grateful to you. If you cannot satisfy them, they will complain about their original family, accuse you of being sorry for them, and feel resentful towards you.
Treat children who are obviously not grateful and have hope, and they are forcing themselves to the dead. When you can't support yourself, you have no money in your hands and your children are not filial, then you can imagine how miserable your old age will be.
END.
Today’s topic: Do you have any good suggestions to Aunt Yuan? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
