Text/Xia Mo
01, Volume Start
Along the way of life, the people you meet are like stars, so many that they cannot count them clearly.
Some people pass by us, while others become the most important people in our lives.
Einstein said: "The most beautiful thing in the world is to have a few serious and upright friends with a mind and heart."
When people reach middle age, they must learn to choose friends and learn to make friends correctly.
Not everyone is qualified to enter our lives. In this world, there are many people who are not suitable for walking along the way. Instead of having greater conflicts in the later stage, it is better to learn to refuse directly.
Listen to the voice of the heart and learn to refuse, which can avoid more conflicts and more troubles.
people are middle-aged and refuse these people to visit at home, so don’t let the trouble come to you.
02. People who like to talk about right and wrong, but do not have a sense of proportion
interact with people, paying attention to comfort.
If others like to make big fuss, always peek at other people's privacy, and talk about it unscrupulously, this will cause great trouble to people.
If you don’t talk with him, he will think that you neglect him, look down on him, and don’t feel that you have any mistakes. If you discuss right and wrong with him, you are likely to be involved in unnecessary storms with him.
likes to talk about right and wrong people around you, which may affect your judgment and make you unable to see the essence of things.
If someone who likes to talk about right and wrong wants to visit his home, the best way is to refuse.
Because, if you like to talk about right and wrong, if you are not well-treated, it is easy to cause trouble for yourself.
People who like to talk have no sense of proportion, short-sightedness, always play tricks on right and wrong, and provoke relationships between relatives and friends. It seems that you are close to you, but in fact it will cause you a lot of trouble inadvertently.
is not as good as being naturally alienated than entangled. When he was about to visit your house, he politely refused to refuse the party several times, and he became distant without realizing it.
03. Refuse to have a crush on you, like people who are ambiguous with you,
people reach middle age, keep the marriage, and don’t let people who have any love for you come to visit your home.
Preserving marriage means maintaining one's stable life, which is to keep the happiness you already have.
Sociologist Fei XiaotongWhen he was young, he once pursued Yang Jiang, and Yang Jiang clearly expressed his rejection. However, he was a little unwilling to give up and asked the two if they could be friends in the future.
Yang Jiang knew what he wanted, so she said she could be friends, but it was not that she could not develop to a deeper level. They can only be friends.
Later, her husband Qian Zhongshu passed away, and Fei Xiaotong visited him again.
Fei Xiaotong said that he wanted to take care of Yang Jiang's future life. Yang Jiang personally sent him out and told him that this road was not easy to walk, so he should not go on the difficult situation again.
On the road of life, please remember: Don’t be ambiguous about love affairs, otherwise it will easily cause trouble for yourself.
If someone loves you, and you already have a lover and a family, you should cut off all his thoughts, so that it is good for yourself and others.
Zhou Guoping said: "A sense of proportion is a symbol of mature love. It knows how to observe the necessary distance between people in interpersonal communication."
When people reach middle age, don't let anyone who has a good impression of you come to your home as a guest. Keep a distance from it, otherwise it will cause misunderstandings from your lover and lead to family breakdown.
04. Not independent, like to rely on other people’s relatives or friends
people reach middle age. Don’t invite people who are strong in dependent and not independent to visit their homes.
Because, it is not independent and likes to rely on other people’s relatives or friends, it may not want to leave after visiting your home.
, even, seeing that your family is in good condition, I would like to provide various help. You often act very aggrieved and pitiful, making you unable to say anything you refuse.
If you help him once, he will ask for help countless times and wait for you in the future.
People who are not independent can easily develop a strong sense of dependence on others. When you visit your home and feel dependent on you, it will seriously affect your normal life. Such friends should be stopped in time.
interacting with people can provide appropriate help, but let others know your bottom line and principles. Don't just please, don't just give.
People with strong mentality often do not care about the feelings of others and put their own affairs first.
Refuse not to be independent and rely on people with strong mentality to visit your home, and you will reduce a lot of trouble.
If you are just kind but have no edge, you will suffer a lot. For those who like to rely on and take advantage of small gains, simply refuse. Without having too much friendship, the best way to get along is.
05. Summary
When people reach middle age, learn to reject low-quality friends and learn to make high-quality friends.
Dazai Osamu said: "My misfortune lies in my lack of the ability to refuse. I am afraid that once I reject others, I will leave a crack in each other's hearts that will never heal."
Many times, interpersonal relationships will not become better because of your "responsibility for everything". The better the relationship between making low-quality friends, the more likely it is to cause great disasters to your life.
people are middle-aged, don’t invite others to visit their homes casually.
If it is inconsistent with your values and is not suitable for your peers, then learn to refuse and keep an appropriate distance, which is more conducive to the management of your relationship.
If you don’t want to live a complicated and complicated life in the future, you should avoid contact with people you don’t like, focus on what you like to do, and make friends who are worthy of your sincere efforts.
Knowing how to choose friends is a necessary practice for everyone. In this way, you can have a smoother life.
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Author: Xia Mo, a new emotional tutor, psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer on the entire network of over 1 billion, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotions, gender, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.
