text | Mi Xiaomu
"If you don't explode in silence, you will perish in silence." This sentence, in another word, such as "despair", seems to be very appropriate. The word "despair" has an intuitive feeling in the two episodes of the TV series "That Mountain and That Sea" I watched in the past two days.
In "That Mountains and That Sea", a family of four is penniless, and they are hardworking, but they still cannot escape the joke of fate. The house collapsed, the bride price could not be collected, and the boss's leg was injured, which made the family's difficulties even worse...
Everything was enough to crush the family of four. When the house collapsed, the mother's expression in the play was dumbfounded. At that moment, the word "despair" appeared on the mother's face.
Regarding "despair", I remember the root causes of despair mentioned in "Allowing yourself to be unhappy: The Courage to Dare to Be Fragile". Some will perish in despair, and some will be reborn.
"Allow yourself to be unhappy: the courage to be fragile" is written by French clinical psychologist Marc Andre Difur, sharing the root-seeking sharing on the pain of life.
There is a small misunderstanding when reading this book. "Allowing Yourself to Be Unhappy: The Courage to Dare to Be Fragile" is a book in the Insider's Department of Books. Because I like this series of books, I feel it is very healing after reading the title. I quickly read the introduction and entered this book. After opening the paper book and starting to read it, I realized that the content of the book is a bit heavy.
Marc-Andre Difur fundamentally analyzes what kind of mental journey they will have when those who walk towards the cliff of life in despair. Marc Andre Difur has a great say in sharing this topic. He has been engaged in trauma and stress assistance for nearly 25 years and has also won the "Rayjean-Marier Award" awarded by the Quebec Suicide Prevention Association.
Someone once mocked Marc Andre Difur for sharing these contents. I feel that he has never really felt it and cannot empathize with it. However, after reading this book "Allowing yourself to be unhappy: The Courage to Dare to Be Fragile", you will see the confidence of Marc Andre Difur.
Ordinary readers can draw some practical sharing from this book. For example, the reason why a person will despair is a way for daily life to nourish himself.
The root of despair
Mark Andre Difur in the book, he shared 6 root causes that will bring despair to people
- Inequality and unfairness
- Violence and abuse
- Mourning and disillusionment
- Imagined the future
- The dark side of social media
- Zoom in the worst thing
For these roots, in fact, there is no need to describe too many texts. If you think about what people encounter in the news and around you, you will find that Mark Andre Difur has summarized it well. If you still feel very empty and recall the desperate situations in which the protagonists are in different film and television dramas, these factors will become three-dimensional.
Among the 6 roots of despair shared by Marc Andre Difur, the most easily overlooked is the "dark side of social media". When people make unscrupulous comments online, they may never have thought about what kind of trauma they will cause to the parties involved. One after another, the tragic news caused by inappropriate remarks by everyone is enough to attract our attention.
When a person faces despair, whether he perishes in despair or is reborn in despair, it seems that he depends on his personal choice. But if there are some ways to nourish yourself in daily life, it may give a person in despair a positive choice.
Learn to save yourself
When you feel despair, it is necessary to know how to save yourself. There are two ways to save yourself. One is to seek help from a professional psychologist, and the other is to explore inwardly and learn to help yourself.
Because of prejudice against psychologists, people who want to seek help from professional doctors actively will have many psychological disorders.How to overcome the obstacles in your mind? Mark Andre Difur shares the possible troubles in the book, and also points out what the facts of the troubles are like.
I remembered the most depressing period I had ever had. It was because I mustered up the courage to hang up the psychological counseling room of the hospital. In the end, I gave up interviewing the doctor because I waited outside for too long. To be honest, it is really not easy to take the initiative to seek help from a psychologist. I have seen the sharing of this passage of Marc Andre Difur in the book about actively seeking help, and I will have a more calm view on going to a psychiatrist.
When you are in trouble and can’t extricate yourself, if you can, remember to ask a professional psychologist for help.
In addition to asking professional psychologists for help, they can also help themselves. In "Allowing Yourself to be unhappy: The Courage to Dare to Be Fragile", several methods of self-help are mentioned. They are simple but very practical.
Among the methods of self-help mentioned by Marc-Andre Difur, the first one is "silence". When I saw this word for the first time, I was shocked. Because I had been at home for two months, I had a conditioned reflex to resist the word "silence". Fortunately, the "silence" mentioned by Mark Andre Difur refers to exploring inwardly and just "silence" in your heart. A person's "silence" sometimes brings powerful power.
Other ways to help yourself look simple and cliché:
• Sleep
• Deep breathing
• Physical exercise
• Food
• Read
• Get close to nature
• Music
• Do it yourself
and all other ways that make you feel comfortable and healthy. Is the way to nourish yourself that simple? The way is simple, but that's it.
Whether it is sleep, food, exercise or other content, every small method has many requirements. As long as you find a method that suits you and persist in this "intention", you will see the results.
I believe in Mark Andre Difur's method of self-help. This trust is not just because Marc Andre Difur is an experienced psychologist. It is also because I have deeply experienced the physical and mental pleasure brought by these seemingly ordinary methods.
Body and mental health, the simple four words are the basis of everything. Some people say, "A healthy person has a hundred dreams; a person who loses health has only one dream." If you want to have other dreams, it is the key to grasping your health first.
If a person is in despair, remember to ask for help from a professional and remember to help yourself.
at the end
Most of the topics discussed in the book are seen in the news. It is a pity to watch these news. Those who left decisively were extremely desperate at that moment. Before, they must have carried a lot.
When you are desperate, give yourself a chance and take the initiative to ask for help. Eat, sleep and exercise well on weekdays, bring these good habits into daily life, and invisibly inject positive energy into yourself.
The journey of life, there is happiness and sadness. When negative emotions enter despair, learn to pull yourself. Open "Allow yourself to be unhappy: The courage to dare to be fragile", and in the healing of the title, start reading and find the power that suits you.
I am Mi Xiaomu, a sincere reader and sharer, welcome to follow.
