A week ago, we asked KYer to write down the "standards for qualified partners" in your minds one by one. Today, everyone's joint creation results are released~ Let's take a look. What are the "KYer's standard " that gathers the wisdom of fans? -
There are Some standards are the bottom line
01.
abide by the law, do not smoke or drink.
02.
No domestic violence, this is the bottom line.
03.
Do not allow violence due to disagreement or emotional emotions (including linguistic violence , cold violence, social restrictions, privacy violations, etc.). This is a security guarantee. If you lose control, you can honestly admit the damage you caused and make up for the subsequent situation.
04.
Loyalty. There is no one of the best features of as a companion. The reason why humans are human is because we know how to restrain ourselves and suppress animal instincts.
05.
Love me , and after seeing the world, I will still firmly choose me.
06.
has an independent spirit and personality, and can take care of itself. I am not a partner to be a father and a mother for the other party.
07.
Respect women , respect women's social values, respect women's fertility decisions, and understand women's difficult situations in society.
08.
Keep clear boundaries with friends of the opposite sex, Don’t do things that make your partner misunderstand.
09.
economically independent.
has Some standards are the cornerstones of maintaining relationships
10.
Emotional stability will not transfer negative emotions at work to others.
11.
can provide emotional value.
12.
Just say something, don't let the other party guess. Just say whatever you are thinking, what you care about and what you want. You should also say it clearly where the other party causes dissatisfaction or discomfort (but don’t use a tone of accusing the other party as soon as you start). No one is the worm in his partner's belly. If you have something to say, you can avoid 80% of the conflicts and is also the fastest way to discover and solve problems.
13.
knows what you want and can be responsible for your decisions and actions.
14.
won't always be perfunctory. I really can't stand my partner always not responding seriously. Since you are going to be with me, shouldn't you be a little sincere? I am always perfunctory, is it really important if I exist as a person?
15.
put our rights first, not just "me".
16.
Can respect your partner's opinions when encountering things and have a long-term vision. Just consider yourself or just the present is a fast food for love, and never think about the long-term future of being a partner.
has Some standards make the relationship vivid and interesting
17.
can chat with me all the time. Of course, the chat here does not mean every moment, but has a natural desire to share with each other. You can talk to each other or listen to each other, and can provide each other with just the right emotional value. This means that both of us maintain curiosity about life, and maintain enthusiasm for thinking and exploring the known and unknown; it means that we have the same frequency and rhythm, and we are likely to have similar views and be tolerant of each other; it means that we can be comfortable and calm when we stay together, but not over possession, and it is not as good as walking on thin ice.
18.
allows me to be myself freely and comfortably, and encourages me to pursue the happiness I want, even if not with him.
19.
Have the courage to let the other party see the real one, and also have the courage to let go of the prejudices in your heart and accept the real one. is neither inferior nor arrogant, and treats the other party as an independent and equal individual to respect and communicate.
20.
Can do housework with me. Although this sounds like a boring thing, I think it is also a very romantic thing for two people to do it together, clean up our home together, and dress up the way we want~
21.
Independent personality. He can refer to the opinions of the outside world, but he must believe in his own judgment, so that his relationship will be placed in an independent space without being influenced by his parents to solve the problem. When he chooses you, he should already have the mentality and ability to be responsible for his life, and he will not blame why you cannot change for him.
22.
Let each other feel lasting comfort during the process of getting along with each other, and there is no need to change too much for each other.
23.
Have your own interests and hobbies, love life, and will not let too much work take up the rest of your life time. Try to balance the two aspects of work and life, and be willing to squeeze out time to do things you have never experienced in a fast-paced life.
24.
strong inclusiveness. He can understand what you are "different" from him, he can understand the suffering that is not around him that exists widely in the world. A non-independent and single-accepted partner is like a stubborn child who never grows up. No matter how mature he looks, in fact, he always longs for others' care and compromise, but it is difficult to have empathy for others' hardships.
25.
When I watch a drama and video with me, I can laugh at the same time.
have some standard romantic and profound
26.
Together, do each other quietly, or read an interesting paragraph, read it to the other party, or play a fun game, share it with the other party’s game plot and thoughts expressed.
27.
Sunny, cloudy, rainy days, every day I am with him becomes vivid.
28.
Preset Even if I break up, I will appreciate and recognize this person from the bottom of my heart. This is the standard for me to start a relationship in the future.
29.
Can accept the other party's light and darkness, happiness and sorrow. Every exhalation and inhalation all respond.
30.
Like a child in the sunshine and like an adult in the wind and rain.
31.
I hope that each other’s “better selves” are also what each other likes.
32.
There is enough love, whether it is love me or the world.
33.
When we are together, the days pass day by day, and we don’t feel exciting or mediocre; we are separated, and we are busy, but when something happens, we will always appear, accompany you to solve it but do not interfere with your decision; in the end, we all choose to believe in each other because it is the other party.
34.
ugly looks are all cute in the eyes of your partner.True love should contain the regrets and flaws of life.
35.
I hope I can show myself in various shapes in front of the other side . I can feel at ease to reveal my sadness, fragility and loneliness, and not worry about being fussed, judged, or educated when I want to tell the other side what happened.
36.
You can get married when you want to get married.
also has some standard personality
37.
As a beautiful dog, it doesn't look good.
38.
As a homosexual, I think the most important thing for a qualified partner is to identify with his or her identity. is not ashamed or confused because of his identity. He chooses to deceive people close to him and indulge in his voice and sex; he is not imprisoned by the world's stereotype of homosexuality, has an independent personality, and a mind that never gives up thinking.
39.
He should know that He is him, I am me, we are our , these three do not conflict.
40.
For me, the qualified partner is "Mature and steady, courageous and moderate" . As a partner, only by being mature in mind can we take better care of each other, understand each other, respect each other, love each other, always have the original intention, communicate effectively, and reduce unnecessary conflicts. Kung means being brave to make decisions when problems arise or need to make major choices, and hesitate to delay the opportunity; being moderate means being moderate in everything, knowing when to do what to do and how to deal with what problems.
41.
My qualified partner should have had a relationship 1-2 times and had reflected on the previous relationship. Because love is essentially self-growth and a deep interaction with the world. Only those who have experienced this can understand better who they are and what they want, can truly mature, and can they become more thoughtful when they enter the next relationship.
42.
When farting, I will not laugh at me for saying that it is too loud; when pooping, I will not dislike me for saying that it tastes too smelly; I will handle it clean at any time after using the toilet; when sleeping, I will not snore or sleepwalking . The prerequisite for getting married is to live together harmoniously.
43.
Can do weird things with me.
KY Author said:
I always feel that we do not have the so-called "standard" answer when it comes to choosing a partner. Due to different personalities and growth environments, everyone has different preferences, different living habits, and different future pursuits, and naturally they will have different standards in the choice of their partners.
But after reading everyone's comments, I found that although people have different preferences, has some characteristics and is the basis for having a good intimate relationship. First, we hope that the other party has the ability to run a long-term and stable relationship, and secondly, we choose hobbies and personality traits that can match ourselves.
This is why words such as "emotional stability", "spiritual independence", "respect and tolerance" have been repeatedly mentioned in everyone's messages. These simple and basic requirements sound like they are, and those who have experienced bad relationships will understand how rare they are.
However, a good relationship is the complementary between two people. If you want a truly stable relationship, it is inseparable from the joint efforts and efforts of both parties. Therefore, hopes that everyone can not only meet that "qualified" partner, but also grow into a partner who is capable of managing long-term relationships.
