Netizen asked:
has been with my girlfriend for about a year, and the relationship between them has always been very good. Recently, I have been with my girlfriend for a while and found it strange that when I was in a different place, I always dreamed of having sex with other girls (some girls who I think are beautiful in life are women who have never thought about).
It's not entirely a sexual relationship. Sometimes I even dream of having an ambiguous relationship with other girls in my dreams, and I actually feel very sorry for my girlfriend.
In reality, my thoughts have been tempted, but I did not take practical actions. For example, there was a girl with a good relationship with me. After her girlfriend found out, she said she was jealous and I stopped contacting her.
Why is this? Is it considered mental cheating ? Is it because I don’t love my girlfriend so much?
Shenzhen Xinhaiwan Psychological Counseling Co., Ltd. Psychological Counseling Expert answered: In such a state, if your girlfriend is not around, the sexual energy will easily be unconsciously projected onto the possible opposite sex around you (more direct: distant water cannot quench near thirst), and you have some imaginative ideas about them. thought about something and dreamed about something at night. In addition, sexual dreams are also a way to release sexual energy, so it is combined into such a dream. doesn’t have that many sexual impulses, and they are not so agitated with the people around them. It is a potential protection for you and your relationship. These are not considered mental infidelity, so don’t have any psychological pressure. You should know in your heart what kind of tricks will definitely happen if you continue to talk. It is difficult for a person who doesn’t love his girlfriend so much and is not so self-disciplined to deal with it rationally. How many people are defeated without fighting in the face of human greed. This is worthy of praise, but you should also note that things in the world are not mastered as much as possible. Of course, there must be requirements, but you cannot create pressure. If one day the pressure on this aspect is too great, you may do something that will be sorry for your conscience and lover. What is the difference between a person who cannot control his instinct and a beast? Of course, if the method is inappropriate, excessive suppression will also go to another extreme.
I feel that my problem is a bit messy, so I sort it out as follows:
1. Why do I dream like this? Is it considered mental infidelity?
2. I am like this in reality (I look forward to cheating in my heart, but I strongly refuse and block it when I encounter several chances of cheating. There is no cheating in real life, including chatting with sex, etc., and I even fear that my girlfriend will be jealous, and I rarely comment on the circle of friends and likes of female friends) is it because I don’t have that deep feelings for my girlfriend? Is this considered cheating?
Recently, I always feel that I have cheated on her mentally or that I don’t love her so much, and I hope to get an answer.
Your premise introduction is very clear, you and your girlfriend are temporarily separated from each other. The release of sexual needs is not as regular as before, and you have not taken other channels to release your sexual repression (this is also the embodiment of your good habits and character), so a lot of sexual energy has been accumulated.
You know in your dream that this is wrong. Sorry to your girlfriend, it means that you care about her very much, and your inner superego (moral self) is reminding you. It can also be seen from your own performance in reality that you handled it well. For example, if you block your ex-girlfriend (a very dangerous potential factor), blocking seems a little bit heartless, but it is indeed the most appropriate measure.
From your expression, there is a vague worry, worrying that you can't love your girlfriend enough and do something that you are sorry for. This also indirectly reflects that you have high requirements for yourself and a strong sense of morality.
When your girlfriend is not around, you must learn to transfer your sexual energy, read more books and study outdoor exercise, etc. Sex is an instinct, but an instinct that can be controlled.
Normal men and women will have some sweet dreams with other opposite sexes in their lives. This is not a phenomenon that only you have. Married men and women also have their favorite male and female celebrities. Occasionally, a little bit of crazy-like star-chasing words and deeds are all normal psychological manifestations and normal psychological needs of people.
Finally, I would like to give you two sentences:
filial piety is the first priority, judging the mind and not filial sons, judging the traces of poor families and no filial sons;
0,000 evil lust is the first, judging the traces of mind and not ignorant, judging the heart and never having a perfect person in the past.
