text | Late love
Source | Do whatever we can to live (public account: wanqingdepingtai)
When I woke up in the morning, the air was filled with the strong fragrance of osmanthus, the autumn was clear and the sky was high and the clouds were light.
said that friends from Suzhou sent hairy crabs. Tonight we will have an crab banquet , and then appreciate the chrysanthemums. After the meal, we will accompany Lingbao for a walk, and the whole family will have a wonderful weekend.
Then, I went to do SPA, Lingbao went to literacy classes, and picked me up by the way.
He said that the crabs have been delivered, and my friend was really too polite, so he gave 6 large boxes at once.
I asked immediately, we can’t eat so much, we can eat one box today, and we will leave one box tomorrow. Have you arranged it? If you don’t arrange it, give me two boxes.
said in embarrassment:
Your mother seems to have arranged it, two boxes for your hometown, two boxes for her friends, I originally wanted to give J General Manager, but there are no more.
I was so angry that I was so angry:
Did she ask you in advance? She often gives away my things to others without my consent, and I don’t have time to argue with her. Now that she has talked to herself, she has divided the things your friend sent. Is our social interaction not as wide as hers? How did she know we didn't make any arrangements? You must not be abusive to this problem, call me.
Mr. immediately stopped me:
Forget it, it’s just a few boxes of crabs. Don’t worry about your mother. If you give it, give it away. If we need it, we can buy it again.
I snorted:
This is not a matter of several boxes of crabs, but a matter of principle. Today she can divide the crabs without our consent, and tomorrow she may live in our house for others to live in. I have to deal with this matter. This is a question of boundary. If I have solicited my opinion, you can take any valuable things from me. Without my consent, it will not be possible.
Mr. still stopped me:
Forget it this time, she may have said everything. Didn’t you say that she makes her feel embarrassed? Forget it this time, she will do this next time, and you can talk about her again.
I gave him a blank look:
Sorry, there is no next time here, you don’t have to stop me, anyway, you just think that this matter has nothing to do with you. I know my mother better than you. As long as you have a good attitude towards her or forget it, she will gain a better position. If she knew that you would give her face, she would definitely be the first and then report in the future. She has not caused any major trouble in recent years, because I have repeatedly beaten and suppressed her. If I can't figure it out, don't worry, our life will definitely be in danger. You have forgotten that she inexplicably asked you to find a job for this and that job. I got angry several times and made her shameless, so she calmed down.
Then, I picked up the phone and called my mother, and I said I would give it to me two boxes of crabs and I want to give it to someone.
She stumbled and said that some of them had given to someone.
I said: Who did you tell me and who agreed? We are useful to ourselves, and you can send it away without saying anything? How many times have I told you that you have the right to deal with your own things. You have no right to deal with my things, especially your son-in-law's things. Do you treat my words as wind in your ears?
She said that I had told you about it and he agreed.
I swear directly: You said nothing, you will tell him what he can say, will you take it back?
My mother said I gave it to someone, and she has such a good relationship with me.
I am even more angry:
Whoever you have a good relationship with, then you spend money to give them gifts, you give gifts from others, and borrow flowers to offer Buddha. Then I have to give it to my friends and my friends. They are the people who have a good relationship with me. What kind of mistresses and best friends have to do with me? Why do you maintain your relationship? I will pay for it?
She is still repeating how good people have to do with her. I am too lazy to complain. I am old and my mind is not as mature as the spiritual treasure. I am extremely ignorant about human nature.
Since I started my business successfully, she has shown her superiority all day long. She has been annoyed by her for a long time, but she just immersed herself in the illusion that others have a good relationship with her.
I told her many times that if you succeed on your own hard work now and if you don’t do these things, others will respect you.
But you rely on me to ascend to heaven. You don’t know how to restrain yourself. Others will only be jealous of you because you have never suffered from struggle. Why do you live a better life than others?
In the past, in order to show her ability, I often asked us some inexplicable things. Later, I analyzed the pros and cons for her, and I listened to it, but it has been renovated recently.
For example, if I bought the clothes for Lingbao, she would not wear them for Lingbao, and would give them to anyone. I have been busy and had not had time to deal with these things. She also knew that I would have an attack on many things, so she would do them secretly with me on her back.
I mentioned her, it is useless to do these inexplicable things. Do you think that giving others a little favor will make them have a good relationship with you? Your purpose is not to make friends with others sincerely. You just want others to envy you, but your original intention is wrong.
Every time she tells her this, she is very impatient because the truth is heartbreaking.
In fact, from a human point of view, I understand her performance because she has lived too poor in this life. Now I want to prove that I am better than others and want to get back all the face I lost in the past.
But this approach is actually useless at all, and it even backfires.
I often feel that the king cannot carry bronze when I am. Some things really can't be taught.
For example, when it comes to crabs, she thinks your husband doesn't say anything, why are you talking about me for a few boxes of crabs?
Actually, isn’t Mr. depressed? If he is not depressed, he will not mention Mr. J's matter, but as a son-in-law, what can he say? He can only endure it!
especially if I still indulge my mother, it is double patience.
How is the marriage relationship destroyed? It is just the inaction of small things that leads to the ultimate in tolerance.
In fact, you will understand everything after thinking from the perspective of others.
For example, your friend gave you something, what are you going to do, but when you went home, you saw that your mother-in-law had already dealt with it for you. How do you feel? Would you be happy?
You must be unhappy, and then you talk to your husband about this matter, your husband says something again, it’s not a big deal, my mother will deal with it, can you still care about it with her?
At this time, what do you feel? You will feel extremely angry. This is no longer a matter of things or things, but your boundaries have been violated.
If there are too many things like this, you will think that your husband and your mother-in-law are in the same group. You are just an outsider. You hate your mother-in-law and your husband. Your relationship with each other is definitely not much better.
And when my husband told me about this, I had an attack earlier than him. At this time, he would think that you should stop talking about her, forget it.
Most of the time, what everyone wants is an attitude, not that little thing.
On the other hand, it also protects the relationship between my mother and him, because I have a clear attitude and he knows that I have already talked about my mother, so I will not be filled with dissatisfaction in my heart.
The most taboo thing in marriage is inaction. I always feel that it is just a trivial matter, why bother?
Small things will sooner or later become big things. When it is delayed, all relationships will fall apart, and you have long been no one inside and outside. If you want to solve it at this time, you may not have a chance.
Finally, please share today's article with more people to learn to grow in marriage.
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night love, a million best-selling author, the founder of Yunyixuan Jewelry, dedicated to women's self-growth, the new book "The more self-disciplined, the more free" is being sold, and its representative work "Be a just right woman", Weibo : The little nest of late love, public platform: What we can live, ID: wanqingdepingtai
