01
The ancients said: "The tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the son wants to support him but his parents are not waiting."
The person who owe the most to the rest of his life is his parents. Therefore, be filial to your parents as early as possible, don’t be too lazy, and don’t leave too many regrets.
But, how to be filial to your parents? When you are young, maybe you don’t think about this issue because your parents are still healthy and can support you. When you reach middle age, your parents are in their sixties or seventies and their hair is white, the problem is right in front of you.
The Analects of Confucius says: "As for dogs and horses, they can be raised; why is it different if they are disrespectful?"
If it is just to provide food for parents, it is no different from raising horses. We must pay attention to the word "smooth". To make your parents happy, full of energy, rich life, and grow old naturally, you are truly filial.
From the perspective of real society, when people reach middle age, you should know that when you are filial to your parents, it is best not to do the following things.
02
First, about migration: Taking parents to a foreign land and living with their children will disrupt their parents' life circle.
Take your parents to the city, go to a foreign country, see the outside world, and live with your children, why not do it? Many people think so.
I don’t know when it started, but there are more parents who “move with you”. In other words, where the children are, is the "residence" of parents.
As a post-70s generation, I was born in the countryside and did a lot of farm work. Therefore, I have a "disgust" with the countryside and feel too tired. Moreover, over the years, I have become accustomed to living in the city, and when I return to the countryside, I seem out of place and I am not even able to use a hoe.
And the life of parents is exactly the opposite. I spent most of my life in the countryside, and suddenly lived in the city, and it was very strange everywhere. When the freshness passes, you don’t know what to do and you seem to be doing nothing.
Parents are always idle, dancing square dance and walking their dogs, they don’t like it; so they go to the community to find a piece of soil and grow some vegetables. They are originally kind-hearted, but it arouses dissatisfaction among the property and neighbors; they go to the street to pick up garbage and keep it at home, and they always feel unhygienic, and their children will dislike it.
Looking at the vast crowd, my parents couldn't find a familiar face, which was very boring. After all, they hope that there are seven aunts and aunts who are having sex with each other and a few quarrels are fine. They couldn't put down that piece of land and that old house.
Parents and children stare at each other every day, and there are many conflicts, and no one is happy.
If parents can move around and have their own life circle, then they will follow their wishes and may not necessarily follow them.
03
Second, about health: Over-meditating the body of parents will make parents live a very painful life.
Writer Emma Hu wrote a story like this: Doctor Zhu is a very strong woman, who is very serious in everything and is very responsible in her work.
One day, I wish the doctor's mother was hospitalized after being ill, her heart was not very good, her blood vessels were blocked, and she needed to put a stent.
After learning about the situation, Doctor Zhu cried. Because before, my mother lived alone and was not taken care of by her children. When I am sick, I will delay it again and again, and take some medicine at will.
However, my mother said she would not want to put it in the bracket. She was very stubborn and was unwilling to torture her body. I wish the doctor can only respect the mother's decision.
Wounds on the skin are easy to stitch, but wounds on the mind are difficult to find and cannot be stitched. However, the two types of wounds are often complementary.
As children, we should work hard to sew the wounds on our parents’ hearts and then care about their health. Otherwise, parents will be stubborn, fear and resist.
My parents are old, and they may have seen through the truth that "life and death are destined", but we think that "ans are greedy for life" and parents need to work hard to live. Or, we have not dispelled our parents' inner concerns - we are frugal all our lives and are busy, where does the money for curing diseases come from?
raising parents. Many times, it is not lacking that amount of money, but lacking "heartfelt words", not mentioning parents' spirit and understanding of the body.
04
Third, about love: forcibly blocking parents' love at dusk, parents will live very lonely.
One of the parents passed away, and the remaining one, do you want to fall in love? Most of the children hate "stepmothers and stepfathers". After all, it seems embarrassing to make you call "Uncle and Auntie".
During the holidays, an "outsider" was on the dining table, and everyone was at a loss.
In fact, whether parents need a partner should decide for themselves. As children, it is enough to check the other person’s character, family conditions, and whether there is a scam.
Meeting a suitable wife is a blessing for parents, and children should express their support. Don’t think that this is a shameful thing; parents are enough with their children.
Love is sacred and beautiful at any age. The key is to understand each other and accept each other.
05
Fourth, about habits: Repeated correction of parents' habits will make children and parents feel uncomfortable and dislike them.
My parents lived in the countryside for most of their lives, and supported themselves by relying on acre of three parts. Living in an old house, my parents seemed very careless, threw their clothes and placed them at will, and the meals for several days were also placed on the table.
After my father passed away, my mother moved from the countryside and lived in my house.
I suddenly realized that my mother moved her countryside living habits to the city as a whole. Onions were planted on the windowsill, and the good roses were gone; if you don’t change your shoes, you will walk around inside and outside the house; the overnight meal will not be dumped, and there will be a little bit of bad smell, so it will still be hot.
When I couldn't help it, I said, "Mom, you should pay attention to your image at home in the future."
Unexpectedly, my mother cried aggrievedly because of this sentence. As the saying goes, "Old and Young, Old and Young." It turns out that parents' words and deeds seem childish and incomprehensible in the eyes of middle-aged children.
"The country is easy to change, but nature is difficult to change." We can remind parents' habits, but don't expect them to correct them. Life has turned people into a certain shape bit by bit. If you continue to polish them in the future, there is no way to change them. You can only change your attitude and try to "empathize with them".
06
Confucius said: "You must know the age of your parents. One is happy, the other is fear."
The age of your parents must be known. Because they live long, their children are very happy and worried. After all, getting older means "oldering, sickness, trouble."
"Only by raising a child can you know the kindness of your parents." When you reach middle age, you are also a father and father. It will be easier to understand your parents, but you have to take action and don't wait all the time.
Fair with parents, you must adapt to local conditions and vary from person to person. On the premise that life is guaranteed, pay more attention to spiritual prosperity.
The best filial piety is probably: each one is well and accommodate each other.
Author: Common people eat coarse food.
Follow my text and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article are from the Internet.
