" Ferryman " says:
"The highest level of being a human is to empathize with one's body."
In fact, the joys and sorrows between people are not connected, and the most difficult thing in being a human is to empathize with one's body.
We are all ordinary people among the countless people. Each of us has different views and growth experiences, and it is difficult to empathize with the experiences of others.
Even among relatives, the same is true.
There is a saying on the Internet:
"If people can learn to put their hearts in their hearts and think from their perspectives on the basis of respect, then there will be no so many disputes in this world."
In real life, it is indeed difficult to empathize, but we can put our hearts in their hearts and think from their perspectives.
When getting along with others, if you know how to put yourself in your heart, you will have a understanding of yourself and others; when you encounter differences, if you know how to think from the perspective of others, you will have more understanding and tolerance.
As the saying goes, "Only by putting your heart in mind can you get the sincerity."
When you learn to look at problems from the perspective of others, when you know how to put yourself in others' shoes, when you truly understand and understand others, you will gain the sincerity, and the relationship between people will be more harmonious.
Unfortunately, putting one's heart in mind and thinking from one's own perspective is a kind of ability, and not everyone has it.
01. My sister-in-law returned to my mother's home and lived with me
Netizen Lin Yi (pseudonym) got along very unhappy with my sister-in-law. Because my sister-in-law has a weak boundary consciousness, and people with weak boundary consciousness usually lack the ability to put themselves in their hearts and think from others' perspectives.
Lin Yi got married when she was 31 years old. Due to her age, marriage was relatively hasty. When we got married, the new house had not started to be renovated, and the wedding house was located in the in-laws' house.
Lin Yi and her husband Ding Jian (pseudonym) met through blind dates and got their certificate after dating for about half a year.
At that time, Lin Yi was worried that she would not know enough about her husband's family. Only after she lived with her parents-in-law after marriage did she feel relieved that her parents-in-law were good and her mother-in-law got along well.
Only my sister-in-law gave Lin Yi a headache.
My sister-in-law is 3 years younger than Ding Jian. She was pregnant by her mother-in-law unexpectedly back then. In order to give birth to her, her father-in-law not only suffered a lot of financial losses, but also lost a stable job.
is very hard-won, so it is very cherished. The same is true for my sister-in-law. Because the cost of giving birth to her is high, her in-laws are very doting on her.
Children who grow up in spoiling are often more rebellious.
My sister-in-law is also very rebellious. Not long after graduating from Vocational College , she gave birth to a daughter out of marriage. Her daughter was under one year old. She married a second-married man and gave birth to a son.
Lin Yi has been married for less than half a year, and her sister-in-law's marriage has come to an end. Although the custody of her son belongs to the man, she still takes her two children back to her parents' home for a long time.
At that time, Lin Yi was 7 weeks pregnant and had severe hyperemesis gravida. She was frequently nausea and vomiting every day, and could not eat. She had to go to the hospital for anti-emesis injections and saline hanger every now and then.
Lin Yi, who was tortured to the point of only half of her life, quit her job and rested at her in-laws' house.
02. My sister-in-law doesn’t know how to turn my heart into my heart
After my sister-in-law’s family of three came, the 100-square-meter three-bedroom apartment was filled with 7 people, not to mention how inconvenient it was.
At the beginning, Lin Yi had no complaints. After all, this was my sister-in-law's home, and it was also a safe haven for healing her sister-in-law who was suffering from the failure of her marriage.
However, Lin Yi quickly couldn't stand it.
sister-in-law's two children are so noisy.
The siblings are 5 years old and the other is 7 years old. They are the most naughty age. They scream and jump at home every day and make a fuss. Moreover, the siblings couldn't get along, and they quarreled and cried.
Lin Yi originally liked quietness, and after she became pregnant, she was more afraid of noisy and became more sensitive. She felt very uncomfortable being quarrels and asked Ding Jian to deal with it many times.
However, the problem has never been fundamentally solved. Every time she communicates with her sister-in-law, she always disagrees. As a mother who has given birth to two children, she thinks Lin Yi is too pretentious.
Lin Yi was very angry.Everyone has different physiques. Some people are pregnant and are as light as swallows every day, calm and relaxed; some people are staggering, like carrying a thousand pounds, suffering day and night.
Moreover, my sister-in-law was only in her early 20s when she was pregnant, but she was an older pregnant woman. How could it be the same?
Later, the parents-in-law came forward to explain to Lin Yi, saying that his sister-in-law has not been easy for years, so that Lin Yi would be more considerate and they would try their best to keep a close eye on the children.
Lin Yi is almost depressed and can only complain to Ding Jian.
"I don't need her to empathize, but at least I should put my heart in my heart. As a woman, I can understand the pain of her marriage frustration. Why can't she understand the difficulty of being pregnant for ten months?
She has also experienced my current stage twice, so why can't she think from the perspective of others and let the child restrain himself a little?"
03. The housewarming banquet for the new house did not invite my sister-in-law
After enduring it for two months, Lin Yi decided to go back to her parents' home to recuperate. She knew that no matter what, this was her sister-in-law's home, and she was not qualified to ask the other party to do what she wanted.
Back to her parents' home, Lin Yi's physical condition continued.
Because my grandmother was hospitalized, Lin Yi's mother went back to serve. My father couldn't take care of people and had to go to work... So Ding Jian took Lin Yi back to his mother-in-law's house.
My sister-in-law was not at home at that time. She found a job and rented a house outside. Her son was also sent back to the man's house.
Who knew that Lin Yi returned to her mother-in-law's house for a month, and her sister-in-law resigned and came back with her child. My sister-in-law, who already has low emotional intelligence, is even more annoying because her work and marriage are not going well.
One day, Lin Yi was completely angry and had a big fight with her sister-in-law.
At that time, the new house had been renovated. Lin Yi wanted to ventilate for half a year before moving in. After arguing with her sister-in-law, she decided to move two months in advance.
In the local area, when moving to a new house, you have to hold a housewarming banquet. Usually, a few tables will be placed in the new house to make the new house popular and life will be prosperous.
Lin Yi was erect and didn't want to do it in a big way. Her grandmother was discharged from the hospital. When her parents were free, she asked her parents to come and help cook, and asked her parents-in-law to have a meal together, just to make some sense.
Lin Yi and her sister-in-law just finished a fight and their anger has not yet subsided. Moreover, she had a headache whenever she thought of her sister-in-law’s two children, so she didn’t plan to hire her sister-in-law.
04. The two parents had a disagreement and parted
Ding Jian wanted to speak but stopped. After her parents-in-law found out, they called Lin Yi and advised Lin Yi not to be too scrupulous. Later, seeing that Lin Yi was firm in her attitude, she stopped talking.
After all, Lin Yi and Ding Jian paid for the new house together, and the decoration was paid for by Lin Yi’s parents.
When my parents-in-law came, their faces were a little wrong.
Later I found out that my sister-in-law learned about Ding Jian’s new house moving banquet and did not invite her. She got angry at home and her in-laws were so angry.
Then, at the dinner table, the parents-in-law and Lin Yi’s parents talked about their sister-in-law, and the two sides started arguing. Both parents drank wine, refused to give in to each other, and finally parted in disagreement. When
left, my father-in-law said angrily: "In-law, you and I have daughters, so you should put your heart in your shoes."
Lin Yi's father was not outdone and retorted: "If you know how to put your heart in your shoes, my daughter wouldn't have moved to the new house with a big belly to absorb formaldehyde in advance."
After the in-laws left, he looked at the mess at the house, Ding Jian seemed to have emotions. Lin Yi regretted that he didn't invite his sister-in-law to dinner. Did he do something wrong?
" Human World " says: "The contradictions between relatives cannot be completely dealt with by right and wrong."
In fact, many times, the differences and contradictions between relatives only have different positions, and there is no absolute right and wrong. Instead of arguing about right and wrong, it is better to put your heart in mind and think from the perspective of others.
Goethe once said:
"Whether it is a king or a farmer, family harmony is the happiest."
Between relatives, only by knowing how to put their hearts in mind and think from the perspective of others can we understand and understand each other, be harmonious in our family, and be happy in life.
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