On my WeChat, the name I noted for my husband is "Himalaya". In my heart, this name has a profound meaning and contains a lot of content. After ten years of marriage, he has always protected my daughter and me and our family like this most majestic mountain in the world.
confession: Aya
(pseudonym)
Age: 36 years old
Occupation: Teacher
Pictures (the picture and text are not related)
My husband and I are reorganized families, and we each had a failed marriage before. We had nothing when we got married, and his salary was not as high as mine at that time, and he was eight years older than me in age.
My mother didn't say anything else, just asked: "He is so much older than you and has nothing, why did you marry him?" "For two bags of persimmons," I answered lightly.
In fact, when I first met him, I really couldn't like him. Instead, I was a little disgusted with his loud voice, as well as his roughness and ostentatiousness. At that time, I had just ended a painful marriage and no longer accepted the ideas of others. So I always used various reasons to avoid his pursuit, but he did not give up.
That winter, I chatted with him and a few friends. I accidentally said that I liked to eat frozen persimmon , and I especially liked to eat persimmon seeds with ice. Unexpectedly, he actually kept this in his heart quietly.
That Sunday, I was cleaning the house at home when I suddenly heard a knock on the door. When I opened the door, I saw that it was him, and I was standing at the door holding a large bag of persimmons (large woven bags in the wholesale market). He was usually loud and suddenly became shy, whispered, "I bought you some persimmons", and then walked straight towards the south balcony with the bag in his arms.
Because I was a little repulsive and my rejection was too stiff, and the two of them felt embarrassed in the same room, so I avoided it on the excuse of cleaning up the other rooms.
After a while, he came over to say hello to me: "Some persimmons are a little hard, put them on the windowsill to dry them, and eat them when they are soft. I washed them and frozen them in the two drawers at the bottom of the refrigerator." Then, he turned and left.
Later, I went to the balcony and couldn't help laughing. There were neatly arranged persimmons on the windowsills around the balcony, ranging from slightly green to yellow to red. The sun shining on the persimmons, shining brightly, like the smiling faces of dolls, which were quite beautiful. "This person is big and thick, but I didn't expect to do this." I didn't think too much, and then went to do the housework.
The next night, at around 8 o'clock, I had just had dinner, and he came again. When he entered the door, he took out a few persimmons from the refrigerator, thawed them, and then dug out the seeds inside and brought them to me in a bowl. He ate the remaining skins himself and left.
Then on the third day, on the fourth day... until the bag of persimmons I bought was finished, he ate the skin himself and left all the seeds in it for me.
I couldn't bear it, so I asked him to eat the seeds, but he just refused and said he liked to eat skin. "The skin is so astringent, only a fool likes to eat it." I said, but my heart was extremely warm. This big and thick man was so delicate and considerate inside.
(II)
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The unit I worked at that time was very well treated, but it was very far from home. I needed to take the bus and then take the shuttle bus. The bus left at 6:30 in the morning, so I could only get up at 5:20 every day and go out to catch the first bus at 5:40.
At that time, there was no air conditioner on the bus. In winter morning, there was a temperature inside and outside the car, and the seats were as cold as ice. If you don’t take it, there is still a long way to go. You have to stop until the bus terminal. Take it. It’s really cold and cold.
I don’t know how he knew about this situation. One day, I just got in the car and heard someone calling me. Looking back at the car, he was sitting in the last row and waved to me to pass by. I walked over and he immediately moved to the seat next to me and let me sit in the seat he had just sat. Well, this seat is not very cold anymore.
At around six o'clock in the morning in winter, the car window was dark outside, and only orange lights would shine in when passing by the street lights. This shimmer made me feel warm.
I got off at the station. Before dawn, he accompanied me to chat and walked to the departure point of the bus until he saw his colleagues walking with him, and then he returned the same way. After that, as long as he was not on night shift, I would have a seat where he would use his body temperature to warm up until a year later, our shuttle bus was changed.
Before I met him, I always thought I was a lonely person. Although I smile every day, it is just an expression, and it is a forced appearance that I don’t want my negative emotions to affect the people around me. During the day, I talked and laughed with my colleagues and friends, and had a hot fight, but at night I felt the coldness and loneliness that penetrated my bones. People say that divorce is a reshuffle in life and requires a great price. To me, it seems to be better.
After experiencing deep pain in marriage, my parents put a lot of pressure on me, so I deeply believed that no one in this world could really understand me and warm me until he appeared.
He knows that I am very strong and takes everything in my heart and bears it. Maybe he was worried about putting me in an awkward situation. He didn't ask too much, but every weekend, he almost took me to climb the mountain. He said that nature is the most inclusive and greatest, and can solve all problems.
At first I was worried that I would not be able to climb the top, but with his desperate pull and constant encouragement, I finally reached the top. Standing on the top of the mountain and looking down at the railings, the houses, trees, roads, and fields at the foot of the mountain were all so small, as if in a fairy tale, sweat was blown by the wind, and I felt a lot more refreshed.
"Ah..." He shouted long in the distance. "Come on, too, it will be very comfortable to shout!" He looked at me encouragingly. I was very embarrassed and couldn't shout it out, so he took me and shouted with me.
"Ah..." I plucked up the courage to shout out, as if all the depression, depression and worries in my heart seemed to float into the distance with the long sound waves, slowly disappearing into the golden light of the sun. Maybe it is really like he said that the power of nature is infinite. After persisting for a while under his leadership, my heart is not as heavy as before, and my smile begins to appear.
(III)
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Emotions heat up subtly. Later, I slowly accepted him. He was as happy as a child. As long as he rested, he went out and looked for all kinds of good-looking clothes, handbags, and accessories for me. When I rested, I took me to see what he looked for, and bought them if I liked.
He said he wanted to make up for all the things I hadn't enjoyed before. I don't want to spend most of my money on these things, and we're not married yet, and I don't want him to spend too much money on me, so I choose a little every time and reject other things for various reasons.
He seemed to be able to penetrate my heart. Later, when buying things, he only stared at my expression, not asking if he wanted it. After reading it, he took me away first, and then waited for me to go to work before he bought it back.
Later, he knew almost the size of my clothes and my preferences, so he simply didn't take me to transfer and bought it home by himself. I remember that before the Spring Festival that year, my unit was very busy and had no rest for two weeks. On the day of rest, he actually brought a bunch of clothes and put them in front of me for me to try.
I remember that I had unpacked the packaging bag for a long time alone, and later I counted 42 pieces! Although only some of them belong to the brand, and many of them are ordinary, I feel very warm because he is not willing to buy one for himself.
I was very moved and asked him what if I can’t repay him in the future if he treats me so well? He said that as long as he is here, he will "take care of" my life's food, clothing, housing and transportation.
He is a person who does what he says. Until many years after getting married, almost all my clothes, bags, rice, noodles, grain, oil, fruits and vegetables at home were purchased by him.
Maybe it is the so-called fate. Because my marriage failed in the previous period, my daughter followed my mother as soon as she was born. The first time I came to Shijiazhuang to see him was when the child was over two years old.
It is said that he looks serious and has a loud voice, but when the child sees him, he likes to play with him, let him hug, hold him high, and turn around.
Until now, they are still like good friends, telling jokes, guessing riddles, climbing mountains and playing together. Everyone around them envy the harmonious father-daughter relationship between them. If they don’t say anything, no one can tell that our family of three is a reorganized family.
(IV)
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When I divorced my ex-husband, I only had my daughter, and he took all the money and goods away. It's hard to say that, when he left, I didn't even let go of the two bottles of old wine I saved. But even so, he was still unwilling to accept it. He knew that I wanted to be face-saving, so he took advantage of the situation every now and then and knocked on my door in the middle of the night.
Although the house is rented, I have lived in it for three or four years. Everyone knows the neighbors upstairs and downstairs. Besides, even if they don’t know each other, at night, the old-fashioned anti-theft iron door can be heard all over the floor upstairs and downstairs. I was worried about affecting my neighbors, but I didn't dare to open the door, so I could only hide on the bed with a blanket, quietly getting to the time, and when he was tired, he walked away.
After he made trouble for a few times, I had to choose to move. Maybe it was because of the serious psychological trauma. After moving, I often suddenly heard the sound of the iron gate exploding in my sleep, and then I was so scared that I sat up until I made sure there was no problem before I continued to sleep.
After being with my husband, this scene often appears in my dreams. Every time I suddenly sit up, he will sit up with me as soon as possible and tell me that it's okay and he's there. He held me from behind and held my hand to let me lie down. His hands were thick and warm. Gradually, these hands rebuild my inner sense of security, and that dream no longer appeared. But I formed a habit of falling asleep holding his hand and keeping it to this day.
The most common thing he said is: Wife is okay, don’t worry, I’m there. He said this and did this. Whether it was work, social matters, or big and small matters at home, as long as I felt difficult, he would stand up and stand in front of me as soon as possible and handle the matter properly for me. Even when my mom and I were angry, he could gently convince me to make up with my mom.
Since his appearance, I suddenly changed from the previous " Transformers " and "Iron Man" to a weak little woman. He would treat me like a child, and in his words, he contracted all the housework and leftovers. After we were together, I didn't even dare to say what I like to eat. As long as I said that, he would leave it all for me without eating it.
may have been quite unlucky before. I was hit by a car three times for no reason, so I am very careful every time I cross the road. Since we met him, as long as we cross the street together, he will hold my hand, and it has been like this for so many years.
He gave my home warmth, my lover's warmth and security. With him here, I feel that even if the end of the world comes, I will be protected by him safely.
So I wrote the notes of his number in the address book of my mobile phone as "Himalayan", which means "Himalayan" in Chinese. In my heart, he is the highest mountain, supporting our blue sky for me.
(V)
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Of course, a happy family will also have discordant notes. We occasionally quarrel over trivial matters. Sometimes I will say a few more serious words when I get up, but he doesn't say anything back, and turns around and closes the door and leaves. I became even more angry as he left, and I thought about how he would argue with him after he came back.
But as soon as he came back, my anger subsided. Seeing that his face was covered in sweat, he was holding the dishes he had prepared for the evening in his left hand, and holding the ice cream that my children and I like to eat in his right hand, and shouting: Wife, please eat ice cream first, I will wash the vegetables and let’s make dinner.
Every time I encounter this situation, I feel very guilty. Why do I get so angry? As for? There is no perfect person in the world. Are you really not bad? He has paid so much for me, why can't I understand and tolerate him more? Besides, he did nothing wrong!
So, I apologized to him with guilt. But he always said, "It's not your fault. The reason you are angry is because I didn't do well enough." So I felt even more guilty in my heart. I felt that I owe him too much, so I compensate him in various ways, and every weekend I would make up his favorite fennel-filled dumplings, send money to their parents during festivals, etc.
Many people say that there are no ideals for couples except for food, rice, oil and salt, but we both have many similar hobbies, such as studying, visiting antique markets across the country, growing flowers, etc., so we often talk about one or two hours on a topic.
He and I both earned our wages because we like to collect and almost all the money was spent on it. So after a few years, we still had no house or car, but we were still happy foolishly. In the words of my lover, we have each other as the greatest wealth.
Sometimes happiness really has nothing to do with money. Finding someone who loves you, understands you, and tolerates you is the happiest thing to stay together for a lifetime. I go home from get off work at night and have a bowl of hot noodles, a warm embrace in the cold night, a strong shoulder when tired, a thick palm when in trouble, and a solid chest when in grievance. I feel that this is enough for this life.
If you also have emotional experiences and want to talk and consult, please leave a private message in the background
■Text/Hebei Youth Daily reporter Pi Xueyan
■Editor/Pi Xueyan
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