Author: Zhang Yiao
First published: Family Magazine (ID: jiatingzazhi)
Last week, we launched a topic collection to readers through the incident of Li Yifeng being detained for prostitution:
How difficult is it for men to keep themselves clean?
What stories have you heard of not keeping the bottom line?
Some readers believe that men's lives are not decent because there are too many temptations from the outside world and the environment is not good.
Some readers believe that this has nothing to do with others, it is purely because there is a problem with one's own moral character and does not know how to restrain one's own behavior.
Some readers also pointed out that men are passive in keeping themselves clean. If there are no serious consequences, everyone will let the beast of desire.
But it is certain that soliciting prostitution will not only put you in moral and legal dangers, but will also hurt the people around you who truly love you.
Desire is causing trouble
@ class
my wife said she couldn't figure it out, some men's wives are so beautiful and are still hiring outside. My husband said that my son can answer you this question.
The husband called his son and asked, "Son, Dad bought you Transformers for 500 yuan, why did you still rob others of toys worth more than ten yuan?" The son replied, "Because I have never played with it."
3 Everyone has desires, and not restraining is an instinct, and restraining is a skill. May all men in the world have the ability and be determined to be a real man.
@Young and Dog
Human nature is diverse, and the appearance of sex will also be diverse. Judging from the three human nature patterns, animal nature, human nature, and divine nature, and the difference in percentages in each person, sex will also show differences in inferior states, general states, and beautiful states.
sex products actually best reflect a person's character. A person with a lower quality and a person with more animal sexual components can also present his sexuality with the lowest level. He ignores the other person's feelings, family members' feelings, and social perceptions, just for the vent of the animal desires, he can do all kinds of bottomless things. Such a person is basically the scum of society.
@Yan Wei
all say that cheating is only once and countless times, and there is no last time. Human desires are a bottomless pit. If you don’t discipline or love yourself, you will eventually harm others and yourself, destroy your family and everything, and even hurt the hearts of those who love you.
Environmental impact
@Suchy Baby
I am a project, and when I go to the project, I will see 90% of men who call their wives and children videos every day, which is very sweet, but I will form a group to go to prostitution at night and often bring some younger brothers who have just left the society. Then the next day I look like I love my wife very much, and the number of times a week will not be less than twice.
Many men will resist these behaviors when they first entered the industry, but after staying in this industry for a long time, it seems that if you don’t join, you are an alien and gradually become assimilated.
@田小同
ex-boy cheated many times, and there was more than one person at the same time. When he was in a testimony with other girls, he found that he was very likely to have had sex abroad. At that time, he was only glad that he had not been infected with dirty diseases.
is not a good thing in itself. Later, he followed others as a micro-business to sell high-priced health products. In order to create his own character of being rich, interesting, fashionable, and knowing how to enjoy life, he stumbled with his colleagues every day, eating, drinking, playing, and spending Lego, and finally the moral bottom line continued to decline.
is equivalent to a fly flying into a shit pit, finding the same kind, and then unscrupulously amplifying one's despicableness.
@Nomxi
I am a man, I can only say that people are divided into groups.
The ones who eat, drink, whore and gambling are one circles, and live a normal life honestly in another circle. If you are in the circle for a long time, you will be influenced by others, otherwise you will have to leave that circle.
So girls must look at what kind of friends they make when they find boyfriends.
moral low
@Yiren Hongzhuang
Ex-mystery was an Aries man. We were together in high school. At that time, we helped him wash clothes and quilts every weekend. When I had no money, I gave him living expenses. When I graduated from high school, I had to buy him an Apple phone.
I am the kind of Scorpio who has a very accurate intuition. I know that he often lies and asks others to do it. He will make up all kinds of things in order to gain sympathy with other girls. He is outside and does not let me contact boys. My cousin is seven or eight years old, and he will call me and scold me if he sends me a message. He will get angry with me if he makes a mistake and feel guilty. He apologizes again the next day; he plays games all day without seeking motivation...
been together for three years, and after two years of quarrel, he finally broke up completely. It has been two and a half years so far. During this period, he found a girlfriend and kept adding my friends, but I ignored it.
Recently I found out that I had a boyfriend again and was better than him. Maybe I couldn't stand it. His store was next to my relative's house, so I ran to spread rumors that I pulled him and refused to let him go. Just yesterday my mother called me to ask about this, and I was really speechless. It was simply a nightmare in my youth.
@zzliao
former colleague, both at home, was found by his wife and left. What’s ridiculous is that the ex-wife wanted to remarry for the sake of the child, but her colleagues disagreed and were open and honest. The ex-wife couldn’t say anything, but instead wanted to “flatter” him.
Another is a friend, with a temperamental personality and generous, just like Yang Ke in "The Golden Years", she is rich and gentle, and she is "feelingful" towards beauties, ordinary girls, and even very ordinary girls.
The difference is that Yang Ke is "passing among the flowers, and the leaves don't touch the body". He is always here, and his wife's family photos are posted in his circle of friends, and he has a lot of fun in private.
The most personal thing he said to me: "No one can stand the temptation. If you can resist, it means that the weight is not enough."
Men can't stand the beauty, women can't stand the tenderness, one is willing to receive it, the other is willing to give it away, and no one can say anything. The nature is hard to change.
@Rini
What is the best way to keep yourself clean? After all, it is just character, because of a sense of responsibility, because of a loyalty to love, and because of awe of one's profession, you will not cheat.
Since you did this, you should bear the consequences.
After losing morality
@jinshengshuiqi
men, don't play around, keep the bottom line.
After drinking, my friend likes to go to some messy places. Many people advised him to restrain himself, and he said that there is nothing wrong with having a happy life. After hearing this, our friend broke up with him and never dared to contact him again.
Now, I heard that he was sick, his wife divorced him, and rented a house alone in the county town.
Therefore, the result of a man's unclean body is that in the mild case, the wife and children are separated, and in the severe case, there is no face to live.
@wild buckwheat
A fourth uncle from afar was a farmer in his early years. He only knew how to do farm work, play cards, smoke, and drank and brag with other people in the village.
Aunt Si is a strong woman and is a good at doing farm work. She can't stand my fourth uncle's appearance of not being motivated all day long. Whenever she sees my fourth uncle playing cards outside, she will run over and arguing with my fourth uncle.
The man was concerned about face outside and felt that his woman had hit her face. In addition, the people next to him made a fuss, so my fourth uncle pressed my fourth aunt to the ground and beat her up.
My fourth aunt is a woman after all, and she has no strength for men, so she can only get beaten. Later, some mother-in-law and aunt in the village saw it and pulled her fourth uncle away. He also scolded his uncle: "What is a man's ability to beat a woman? If you have the ability, let women live a good life."
My fourth aunt felt embarrassed and angry, so she packed up a few clothes and went back to her parents' home.
My mother's family heard that Aunt Si was beaten and picked up the shovel and hoe from the house to seek justice for Aunt Si. As a result, my attack was a little heavy, and my fourth uncle couldn't get out of bed for a month. My fourth aunt felt distressed again and ran back to take care of my fourth uncle for a month.
After Uncle Four got up, I don’t know if he was enlightened. I contacted a cousin and said I would follow him to do the project, so I went out. After a year, I bought a gold bracelet for Aunt Si and gave Aunt Si a lot of money.
Aunt Si suddenly became a face in the village. A man has the ability and walks lightly.
html After 3 years, Aunt Si went to the construction site with Uncle Fourth. Aunt Si cooked on the construction site and took care of Uncle Fourth's daily life. When I was busy, I also helped move bricks and pick up some broken steel heads... In this way, Aunt Si worked on the construction site with Uncle Si for five years.
Uncle Si was very smart and clever. After working with his cousin for the past five years, he basically learned the skills and knew some basic processes of the project. He went out to do it alone and booked a small project, which really made some money.
I don’t know why Aunt Fourth has not been pregnant in the past five years, and this has become a heart disease for Uncle Fourth.
After getting rich, Uncle Fourth took Aunt Si to the hospital for examination. Aunt Si was fine and was in good health. The doctor told the two people not to worry and let it go.
As expected, after half a year of seeing the doctor, Aunt Fourth became pregnant. Uncle Fourth was so happy that he was careful with Aunt Fourth. I was afraid that my mother would not take good care of her, so I went to my mother-in-law's house and asked my fourth aunt to take care of her.
Aunt Si could not follow her fourth uncle to the construction site when she was pregnant, so she went to the construction site alone to follow the project. It was only two or three months old, and I don’t know what happened, so my fourth uncle got along with the woman who just came to cook on the construction site.
Uncle Fourth was simply fascinated. He ignored the pregnant aunt at home and had never come back to see Aunt Si for two or three months.
Later, the woman on the construction site also became pregnant. My fourth uncle was so happy that he secretly told his mother. His mother couldn't believe this. He wanted to leave the house. His mother asked him to break up with the woman on the construction site, otherwise he would not recognize his son.
Uncle Fourth seemed to be determined. No matter what his mother said, he would not listen. He also said he would hide it from Aunt Four and file for divorce after Aunt Four gave birth to a child.
is the world's without airtight wall . A man who worked as a small worker on the construction site of Uncle Si accidentally exposed this matter after returning to the village. When the fourth aunt found out, she fainted in a hurry. After being sent to the hospital, the doctor said that the child had been hypoxia for a long time and had no , fetal heart rate , so she had to have a miscarriage. In the end, the miscarriage was a baby boy. My fourth uncle and his parents couldn't stand it and cried heartbrokenly in the hospital.
Uncle Fourth was called back by his parents and took him to the Fourth Aunt’s bedside, kneeling down to apologize and admitting his mistake. But Aunt Fourth was already cold and only filed for divorce. The fourth uncle wanted to keep him, but he also knew that he was not qualified to keep him. He only left some money, and said that he would wait for the divorce, and he left half of his property.
Later, Uncle Fourth returned to the construction site and found that the woman on the construction site was missing. The 100,000 yuan that was ready to settle for the workers was gone.
hurt others
@金如后如后如后如口机
27 years old, fell in love with a man. At first he told me that he had divorced, but later he said he did not divorce. After hearing the news, I decisively left him because when I think about his children, wife and parents, they would be hurt by my appearance, and finally I disappeared without a word.
It took me a year to come back to life. During that year, I slept during the day and watched TV at night. Until now, we have been separated for 15 years. I have always thought about him loving him in my heart. But if I have done it again, I still have the same choice. I would rather choose to hurt myself than to hurt others, especially the person I really love.
@632589
Before we fell in love: these are all physiological needs, it is understandable that men have stronger sexual desire, but their behavior is illegal.
After falling in love: My boyfriend used to have sex with him. After knowing that, he fell asleep and woke up crying every day.
The man couldn't control his temporary desire and went to find the lady. From then on, his body and mind were already dirty, and he could not erase the stains in life. First, this is an illegal act, and second, this is a manifestation of the inferior behavior, which is no different from animals and livestock. From the moment they started escorting, they were destined to find pure true love in their lives, unless they found one like them. It is simply a delusion to find an honest girl to take over. No matter what you have done, you will find it.
@Bangbang
I almost never saw his phone in love with my boyfriend for more than a year. On the night of getting married, I took his phone to see the photos taken during the day, but I accidentally found the photos he took when he was soliciting prostitution. The time span was as long as 8 years, and even happened during our relationship.
At first, he argued that it was saved online. Later, I found out the chat records with his brother on WeChat and the undeleted lady, and he admitted it.
My heart was already cold at that time. I hated myself for not knowing people clearly. I hated that he had been in love for so long and turned out to be a dirty beast. Fortunately, I did not make any mistakes. Now he is already an ex-husband and never wants to see him again in his life.
external force constraints
@安容成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成成� , notify neighbors, street offices, neighbors, and neighbors...
and are afraid that bad people will take advantage of the situation and slaughter customers...
and are afraid that they will be transmitted to men to be infected with viruses and bacteria...
and are afraid that they will be infected with viruses and bacteria...
@Mr. Liu
@Mr. Liu
Don't talk about morality from human nature. If you give any man the power and ability to have three wives and four concubines, basically no one will give up.
But people live in reality and live under limited conditions. A man with self-cleaning is basically born in a family with good educational conditions and good living conditions. He is compassionate, has a certain degree of cleanliness, has very high requirements for his partner, etc. But that family cannot be too rich, too powerful, or too prestige.
If you have to ask if there is a man who is good at self-discipline, there is no one, and there is one if the conditions are limited.
@Black Cat Lawyer
has come into contact with many people who have this experience. If you don’t commit any more prostitution, most people don’t feel guilty or regret in their hearts.
People who do this basically have no regrets.
is said to have basically no regrets, because some young people may feel guilty when they first time, but under the influence of hormones in their bodies, they will continue to do this. After all, humans have animal attributes, and physiological needs are sometimes difficult to control.
Most of the people who regret it are fired by the unit after being punished by the police.
Many people stopped committing crimes after being punished by public security, especially those who were arrested on the scene. After experiencing public security punishment, the shadow area in their hearts became much larger, and they basically became immune to this behavior.
Written at the end
After the Li Yifeng incident, some people excused him in the comment section and attributed his behavior to "manly nature."
It is true that most men with indecent private lives go to prostitution because of their physical needs.
However, the team of Pan Suiming, a professor of sociology at Renmin University, conducted four sampling surveys in 15 years and found that married men living together were more likely to find "lady" than single men.
Many factors such as emotional incompatibility after marriage and incoordination of sexual life will significantly increase the possibility of men seeking prostitution.
"The motivation for prostitution is sometimes outside of 'sex'."
In an intimate relationship, we need to respect our partner's thoughts and feelings. But in sexual transactions, providing services to women can both satisfy any specific sexual behavior a man wants and can be despised by men.
In that short period of time, men were the gods who control everything. This absolute power is one of the reasons why prostitution is extremely tempting and addictive.
"Poisonous Masculinity" will also mislead men to slide into the abyss.
The book "Brotherhouse Talk" records the inner thoughts of a prostitute: "This is the only place that makes me feel that I can be a man." Because he thinks "this is what men should be. They won't feel guilty, nor will they feel out of place with society."
As mentioned in the study, many men who are surveyed will be pulled by their friends and solicit prostitution with their brothers to strengthen their "masculinity" and be recognized by both men.
Obviously, this is the dregs of thought left over from the old era.
At present, those who indulge in desires will not receive the respect of society and favor of life, but will only receive the disappointment of their loved ones, the resolute departure of their lovers, the indescribable and difficult to cure diseases, moral shame, legal sanctions...
It is easy to be clean, and it is not difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is easy to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is difficult to say it is not difficult to say it is difficult to say it is
corrects your own cognition and understands what is temporary speed and what you really want and need, so that you can have the courage and determination to leave the vulgar environment, restrain your desires, and keep improving.
Source: official account, Zhihu comments
