The process of understanding the thinking mode
Entering a thinking mode is like entering a new world.
——"Lifelong Growth"
In the second half of 2019, I started to lead writing classes. The purpose of the students is to improve their writing skills and then earn an income.
After I brought nearly 100 students, I found that there were two ways of thinking among them: Some students focused on proving their abilities, while some students did not care about this and were just keen on learning.
After further communicating with them, I found that they have two different understandings of ability:
One believes that ability is fixed and needs to be proved;
The other one believes that ability can be changed and can be cultivated through learning.
Such types of conversations often occur between me and students:
Student A: Teacher, I can't do it anymore. I think I don't have the talent to write, my foundation is too bad, I can't win awards like this, I'm embarrassed to read my articles myself, in fact, my job income is not good, but I have been under great pressure recently, and I want to expand my side job and have more income. Now it seems that I am too naive. Writing is really not an easy thing. It is suitable for smart people to do, smart people can understand it at a glance, I am too stupid...
Student B: Teacher, I'm not good enough, you have to take care of it, I hope you don't dislike me for trouble. I will often disturb you if I don’t understand. When you modify my manuscript, you don’t have to care about my face. If you have anything, I will change it...
Student C: Teacher, I have written this point here, I don’t believe it. Look, I have thought about the angle you mentioned, but there are too many people who write this way, not special enough, so I didn’t write it...
Entering a thinking mode is like entering a new world.
In a world where personal abilities are fixed, success requires proving one's intelligence, talent and value;
In another world where abilities can be changed, you need to improve yourself, learn new knowledge, and develop your talents.
The former is a "fixed thinking mode" and the latter is a "growth thinking mode".
Fixed thinking mode will think that encountering setbacks is failure.
For example: Students A and C belong to "fixed thinking": they believe that encountering setbacks means failure, getting a bad result, losing a game, being fired, being rejected, etc. These mean not being smart enough and not being talented enough.
Student B belongs to "growth thinking": It means failure to grow by itself, that is, it means failure to achieve the goals you want to achieve, or not fully realize your potential.
In fact, it is because everyone knows how to write that they come to learn. Writing is a new knowledge for them.
Mastering a new skill requires abandoning the original achievements and adjusting yourself with a "empty cup mentality". It is easy for people with growth thinking to do this, but people with "fixed thinking" will want to escape.
How to judge your own thinking mode
Take a simple test, answer the questions in the form, and judge whether to agree or not:
Question 1 and question 2 belong to fixed thinking, and questions 3 and 4 belong to growth thinking. In this table, you can also try it by changing your intelligence to "artistic talent", "physical fitness", "business skills", etc.
Questions 1 and 3 are fixed thinking patterns, and questions 2 and 4 are growth thinking patterns.
In general, a fixed thinking mode makes you care more about how others view you, and a growth thinking mode makes you care more about whether you can improve yourself.
Difference between two thinking patterns
. Brain wave displays different
. In order to judge the difference between the two thinking patterns, psychologists conducted a monitoring of two different thinking patterns in the Brain Wave Laboratory of Columbia University. Electroencephalography experiments: When they answer difficult questions and get feedback, the EEG shows when they feel interested and focus more.
Fixed thinking mode users are only interested in feedback that reflects their abilities. Their brain waves show that they are very focused when they are told that their answer is right or wrong,
But they do not show any interest when they get information that can help them learn, and even if their answer is wrong, they don’t care about the correct answer.
Only people with a growth mindset will pay close attention to information that can improve their knowledge level. For them, learning is the top priority.
. Different accuracy of evaluation of oneself
Growth thinking people have a very accurate evaluation of themselves, and they will objectively look at their own status and level.
They know what stage they are at and clearly know that as long as they work hard, they can do better.
People with fixed thinking either have too high self-esteem and feel that no one can surpass themselves in a certain aspect, or they say that I can't do it, I don't have the chance, I give up, and people with a thinking mode of are wandering between arrogance and inferiority.
. Different mentality in dealing with challenges
When you get an opportunity, for example, when you unexpectedly expect, you are called to give a speech on the podium, suddenly be promoted by the leader, etc., what is the first thing you think of in your mind?
The first idea of people with fixed thinking is: I can’t do it. If I can’t do it well, wouldn’t it be a “slap in the face”? Forget it, don't go.
People with growth thinking will be happy to accept challenges and regard them as a rare opportunity. Only by doing it can you know whether you can do it well. If you don’t do it well, you will also get the opportunity to learn.
. Different views on failure
There is a famous basketball coach in the United States John Wooden . He brought a not-so-good school team to an All-American League champion. Coach Wooden said: Before you start blaming others, you are not considered a loser (loser) . Is
failure a behavior or an identity?
Each of us has faced failures and setbacks, but if we encounter setbacks, we want to clear all of this as soon as possible and say, "It's not my fault, if it weren't... I wouldn't..." Thinking patterns like
are fixed thinking patterns. They will raise their failures to "I am a loser, and TA is a complete loser."
But when we tell ourselves "It doesn't matter. We didn't do it well this time, we must strengthen training next time to do it better, at least I know where my problem is." Such a thinking model is a growth-based thinking model. For TA, failure is just a behavior, and it's just correction.
. Different views on hard work
People with fixed thinking think that hard work is a shame because they believe in talent and believe that a person's level is basically unchanged. He will say, "This kind of person is suitable for this, and that kind of person is not suitable for this." After the concept of
, he will think that talented people can gain respect from others. people are more willing to receive praise for their talents than for their efforts. Because of the praise of your talent, you will appear different from others.
When we were in school, there was a boy in our class who slept in class and played basketball after class, but every exam was actually the top three.
It seems that he can easily achieve good results without having to work hard.
So the students all said that he has "talent", "smart", and "brainfulness", but in fact, during the parent-teacher meeting, his mother said that he got up early in the morning to study and went to bed late in the evening. He worked so hard to make himself look "talented".
This classmate did get into a good university back then, but now, like us, he has become a mediocre ordinary person who is busy with life.
in "Soldier Assault" Xu Sanduo is never afraid of exposing how hard he works in front of others. He is always training and always asking others what he should do, and then he makes progress little by little, constantly surpassing himself and becoming more and more outstanding.
My classmate back then was a person with fixed thinking, and Xu Sanduo was a person with growth thinking.
So, the core of should be to constantly exercise your growth mindset.
steps toward a growth mindset
First step to accept
above I have introduced the characteristics of the two thinking modes. I believe that after reading it, I will think that the growth thinking mode is obviously easier to succeed. This understanding is correct.
Here I would like to emphasize that the thinking mode is divided into different scenarios.
For example, the same person has a growth thinking mode in the workplace, is willing to accept challenges, respond actively to setbacks, study hard, etc.
However, it is a fixed thinking mode in terms of emotions and interpersonal relationships.
believes that falling in love depends on "accidental encounter" and "fate". I am such a person. Those who like me will naturally understand me.
Some of my students have really found many excuses in writing because of their own bad skills and are ready to give up. At this moment, she has a fixed mindset.
But as a working mother, she works hard to run her family, increase revenue and reduce expenditure, find opportunities, overcome difficulties, and create more possibilities for her family. At this time, she is a growth-oriented thinking.
So, in fact, each of us is a mixture of growth thinking patterns and fixed thinking patterns.
We don’t need to be ashamed or upset that we have fixed thinking. We just need to objectively understand this fact and accept that part of our fixed thinking. Changing a habit is not something that can happen overnight.
But with the concept and knowing our thinking patterns, we can reduce the frequency of our fixed thinking in life and reduce the harm it causes.
For example, in the process of writing, we are furious and want to give up because we have not yet obtained the results we want. At this time, you realize that it is your fixed thinking that is causing trouble.
You can adjust your thinking mode in time to let yourself know a fact. People who write well have also experienced this stage. Your writing ability will improve with you practicing correctly. After improvement, you will usher in the results you want. What you need to do now is to write more articles and practice more.
In this way, it will be smoothly transformed from fixed thinking to growth thinking.
Step 2 Observation
The second step is to clarify what inspired your fixed thinking pattern. When will that fixed mindset personality come back?
may be when you are about to face a new challenge. There is a voice in your ear that will say, "Maybe you don't have that much ability, be careful that others will discover your true level."
may be when you are struggling for something, but you are at a dead end. The voice of said again: "Give up, it's so frustrating. You have worked so hard, but there is still no result. Let's choose something simple to do."
may be when you feel that you have encountered a huge failure, such as: lost work, failed interview, broken love, messed up something. The voice appeared again: "You are not as strong and capable as you think. You can't become the person you want to be. Forget it, be willing to be an ordinary person."
We must observe calmly, be good at talking to ourselves and be honest with ourselves. When you meet someone much better than you in a field where you are proud of? What will a fixed mindset say to you? Will it tell you: You can't become that person, and has it made you feel a little hatred for that person?
How will a fixed mindset treat others? If your profession is an educator, would you comment on the student that “it’s not suitable for this” because of a certain performance of your student?
If your profession is a manager, will you comment on the employee’s personal talents after a meeting where an employee speaks?
If we are parents, will you let your children use their academic performance to prove their intelligence and let their children feel that the scores in the exam are linked to your evaluation of them?
When you understand the personality of this fixed mindset and clarify the reasons that inspired him to appear, don’t rush to evaluate it, observe it first.
The third step is to name
"Failure, especially failure in public, is the main incentive to inspire my fixed thinking mode.
At this time, the sound in my mind will appear. She is my picky mother. In the fixed thinking mode, although I don't want to admit it, I always think of her.
My mother will immediately blame others when encountering problems to protect her. Protect your own self-esteem.
She refused instead of embracing failure, which made me worried that if someone saw my failure, she would consider me a loser. "
Once I was in the living room and my son was cooking in the kitchen, and suddenly she cursed: "Who bought the pepper powder and why did you buy the glass bottle? I also have to put it in this place for cooking. Now if it breaks, you can do it yourself.
" So, I went in and picked up the glass residue. My father took a new container and refilled the unstained pepper powder that had fallen on it, and said to my mother: "Don't be frizzy when cooking, you won't overturn it.”
My mother immediately retorted: "I am exhausted every day and have to cook. I wash and cook, and I don't care about so much, so I fall. ”
My dad said weakly: “I don’t mean to blame you.” "
In this scene, my mother's fixed mind has come, and I want to call it "innocent little white rabbit".
I will do the same. When I accidentally broke something, a sharp female voice immediately appeared in my heart, "If you can't even get something done, what else can you do?" You can't look at your eyes, this thing is very expensive. I have been so irritable since I was a child, but I still can't change this problem when I grow up. "
So, the "innocent little white rabbit" in my heart came out, and she would immediately shirk responsibility and tell me that it was not my problem, and if it weren't... I wouldn't..., there would be a lot of parallelism.
Step 4 Education
After going through the first three steps, you now know the causes of triggering a fixed thinking pattern, and painfully understand your fixed thinking pattern personality and his will What impact does it have on you? He has his own name, and you need to educate him next.
The more you understand the reasons for triggering fixed thinking patterns, the more you can be vigilant when the fixed thinking patterns personality appears.
When you are ready to take your comfort zone, think about what he will say to you, and then you have to tell yourself why you have to take this step and ask him to go on the road with you. You have to tell him: "I know it may fail, but I am willing to try it once. Can you be more patient with me? "
When you encounter setbacks, he appears again. Don't be nervous, let him finish his words, don't stop him, and then when he calms down a little, tell him that you plan to learn from setbacks and move forward:
"Yes, you are right, I'm not good at doing this for the time being, but I think I know what I want to do next, so let me give it a try. ”
When you are under great pressure and you cannot believe that others can do something well, such as: if you give your child to your husband to take care of it for a day, you are not at ease, you don’t believe that he can do it well, worry that the child is injured, the plan given to you by your subordinates is too far from what you want, you think he has no ability at all knowing what the standard you want.
At this time, a fixed thinking pattern comes quietly again, and starts to mutter in your ear: "They can’t do anything well, you still have to go on your own. ”
You can say to fixed thinking: “Since that’s the case, let’s ask them what help I can provide and help them complete the task as soon as possible. I can be their backing and help them grow. ”
When you understand the principle, you must remember that your fixed mindset personality exists to better protect you and make you feel safe.
He has not found a good way to do this, so you need to educate him with a new method of growth mindset, and he can help and support you: let him accept challenges, don’t give up, make a comeback after setbacks, and help and support others’ growth.
In this way, you will go further and further on the road of fixed mindset.
Setting up a growth target
When you have accepted the fact that each of us has two mindsets, you have also figured out the reasons for triggering a fixed mindset. You also gave your fixed mindset personality a name, and when it appears, you will use growth thinking to talk to him and persuade him to follow you on the road of growth.
, this does not mean that your journey has ended.
In order to make growth-oriented thinking bear fruit, you also need to set a goal - growth-oriented goal
First, print out this picture, paste it in a conspicuous position, remind yourself of the characteristics of the two thinking modes every day;
Then, when you are considering how to spend the day, ask yourself these questions: For me, what opportunities for learning and growth today are there? What about me to those around me?
When thinking about how to take advantage of these opportunities, make a plan and ask yourself: When, where, and in what way will I start implementing this plan?
Go find all the ways to put your plan into action and achieve success.
When you encounter setbacks, you need to make a new plan and ask yourself again: When, where, and in what way will I start executing this plan?
No matter how bad you feel, you must do this. After you succeed, don’t forget to ask yourself: What else can I do to keep growing?
is written at the end: Change is painful and difficult, but the result must be worth it, so I would like to encourage you.
To facilitate everyone's execution, I drew mind map :
