As the saying goes, "Men are afraid of entering the wrong career, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man." The trajectory of our life may be quietly changed at several important nodes.
When her husband Bi Zhenyuan's slap was raised to her, the female educated youth Bai Qixian saw her youthful self-confidence many years ago, and her infinite longing for the future.
Those passionate and sunny days once truly shined on her life, but now when I think about it again, it seems that I come from another world far away.
Now, what she faces seems to be the only husband who is becoming more and more unfamiliar with her eyes and a dark life that looks like she looks.
All this happened because others might just be a joke, and she was unfair to the pain of the world when she was young and frivolous.
If it weren't for these, then her life should have been different.
1943, Bai Qixian was born in a working family in Hebei Province, and later her parents gave birth to a younger sister.
Although Bai Qixian survived the war before the age of 6, she was still young at that time and her parents provided her with a relatively stable living environment as much as possible.
Speaking of the first major blow that Bai Qixian encountered in his life, it should be that his mother died of illness when she was six years old. After
, although he lost his mother's love, his father gave all his love to the two sisters, both as father and mother. Therefore, although he lost his mother when he was young, Bai Qixian's childhood was still quite carefree.
After going to school, the talented Bai Qixian didn’t have to worry about her father’s studies at all. She could always get a good grade and take a few certificates home.
. Unlike the stereotype of good students, , Bai Qixian is not the kind of quiet girl, but a lively and cheerful tomboy style. She is naturally loved by many teachers and classmates.
Later, Bai Qixian was admitted to Hebei Normal University with excellent results and is about to start a new and beautiful university life. At this time, Bai Qixian was full of infinite confidence and expectations for the future.
At that time, if you could go to a college degree, you would be a winner in life and you would steadily hold a job in the future, let alone college students. After a few years of further studies, the bright future will be broad and full of energy.
But after the stable four years passed, Bai Qixian himself did not expect that his life had turned a big turn and embarked on another completely different path.
When she was in middle school, many of her classmates often went to nearby farms, mountainous areas and other places to do volunteer work. After graduation, some of her classmates went to the border areas to support construction, which was quite shocking to her.
At that time, she often followed her classmates to nearby rural areas to participate in the labor and activities of the commune.
She especially likes the simple atmosphere of farmers. She gets along with them easily and happily. The free and vast space and atmosphere in the countryside also make her yearn for it.
A few years ago, against the background of severe and prominent urban employment problems, a large number of intellectuals voluntarily went to the countryside to make contributions by taking root in the countryside.
In 1968, Chairman Mao issued an instruction: It is necessary for educated youth to go to the countryside and receive re-education from poor and lower-middle peasants.
Just this year, Bai Qixian graduated from university. Although her father and sister both hoped that she could stay in the city and find a job, she didn't want to start her life like this, but went to the Xiangguozhuang Brigade of Cangzhou, Hebei with a few classmates to go to the team.
In the countryside, Bai Qixian found another state of life. Although at the beginning, Bai Qixian, who had been on campus, was very uncomfortable with the heavy daily physical labor, she gritted her teeth and persevered, and this place brought another look to her.
When she first came, the cadres of the commune heard that a beautiful female student came to work in the lineup. She was still a top student. She was very happy and felt like she had found a treasure.
When I first arrived, the village simply held a welcome ceremony for them. The atmosphere was warm. The local villagers showed the enthusiasm and enthusiasm of several educated youth who came to work in the countryside, which made the young people who had just left home feel another kind of warmth.
After adapting to life here, Bai Qixian's cheerful and lively personality made her quickly get along with her fellow villagers. When she is working, she will tell her fellow villagers about her experiences when she goes to school, and these new things attract their ears.
In addition to daily labor, Bai Qixian also often participates in activities such as publicity work in the village. Her good educational background makes her feel like a fish in water and do a great job in these work.
Not long after, this cheerful, enthusiastic, cultural and simple girl was loved by the whole village. Their relationship became more and more familiar and intimate, which gave her family the warmth. After getting familiar with
, everyone often jokes with each other and has fun.
htmlRecalling more than 0 years later, these unintentional things have actually paved the way for Bai Qixian's future life little by little.
Because of the high level of education, after a period of time, Bai Qixian went to the village primary school to work as a teacher, teaching knowledge and reasoning for the children, and portraying a better tomorrow for them.
She is a serious and responsible teacher, and she is funny and humorous in class. Her children and parents like the new teachers coming to this city very much.
Days pass day by day, and Bai Qixian feels fulfilled and happy. A few years have passed in a blink of an eye, and starting from the 1970s, a large number of educated youths have begun to return to the city one after another. My father began to make active preparations for her to return to the city, and Bai Qixian's departure was about to come.
But the villagers were reluctant to let her leave. She once said that she especially liked life here and wanted to "integrate" with everyone.
So someone asked her half-jokingly and half-heartedly: "Teacher Bai, you will be rooted in the countryside all your life?"
Bai Qixian answered without thinking: "I am willing, I like this here especially!"
Then someone said: "Teacher Bai, you say you want to combine with us poor and lower-middle peasants all day long. So how is the combination method?"
Bai Qixian was speechless for a moment and didn't know how to answer.
So the man said again, "I think, if you are willing to marry the young man here, that is the real combination! I just don't know if you are willing to, Teacher Bai?"
rushes to talk, and Bai Qixian blurted out: "I am willing, why not?"
"I am willing to marry Bi Zhenyuan?"
"I am willing!"
So a group of people began to make noise. This was the first time they met the top students from the city who married the farmers.
Bi Zhenyuan is the clerk of the brigade. After graduating from elementary school, he barely knew some words, but he was already considered an "intellectual" in the village, so he worked as a clerk in the brigade and a person holding a pen.
In the eyes of the villagers, he is an honest and dull person. He is usually taciturn and stutters when he says a few more words to unfamiliar people. Therefore, he is a "marriage family". He has no partner yet. At that time, the countryside was about to be a bachelor for the rest of his life.
I feel embarrassed to regret what I promised. When the red official seal of the brigade office was stamped on the marriage certificate with the photo of her and Bi Zhenyuan, Bai Qixian woke up in an instant: she married herself like this, and the rest of her life was likely to be explained to this place.
There were only six days from the first meeting to becoming a couple, which was like a dream for Bai Qixian. Before getting married, she once said that she should discuss with her father the major issues of marriage first.
As a result, a brigade cadres said that this is a new era, marriage is free to make decisions on their own, and they don’t like their parents’ matchmakers.
So Bai Qixian married herself in a daze. The marriage was over, but her father didn't know yet.
That day, many villagers sent gifts such as eggs and other gifts, and piled up a lot in Bi Zhenyuan's small house. Many people come to to make fun of the bridal chamber , and it was lively until it was quite late.
After everyone left, the room became deserted, and Bai Qixian then looked at Bi Zhenyuan, who had become her husband in front of him.
He has dark skin and is wearing a temporary infrared jacket for marriage, which makes him look a little unfit. Compared to these, what was even more eye-catching in Bai Qixian's eyes was the black mud remaining in the cracks of his fingernails.
Bai Qixian asked him to wash, but he said it was okay and fell asleep on the bed. Facing the dim light, Bai Qixian suddenly felt that her future was so confused that she could not distinguish her direction.
According to custom, he has to go back to the door after getting married, so Bai Qixian took Bi Zhenyuan back to the city.
Faced with this son-in-law whom I had never met, and learned about the process of getting married and the basic situation of Bi Zhenyuan, my father was silent for a long time, but he couldn't say anything in front of his son-in-law.
At night, the father called Bai Qixian into his room, sighed a few times before speaking to her, "Daughter, how could you marry yourself without saying hello to your father?"
Bai Qixian lowered his head and said nothing. The father continued, "Dad just hopes you are happy. Look at you finding such a person, what will you do in the future? Have you ever thought about it?"
Bai Qixian talked back: "Don't you just look down on him as a farmer? What's wrong with the farmers? Workers and peasants are a family, and you are still a working class! Why don't you have this ideological awareness?"
"I don't look down on farmers, but you are still young, and many things are not as simple as you think. You're big. Learning is to pursue a broader world. If you marry a farmer, you will take root in the countryside in the future. Is the knowledge you have learned useful?
And, you and Bi Zhenyuan are not in a good match, and their education and growth environment are too different. My father is not looking down on him, but his life is just about food, rice, oil and salt. He can't give you happiness! "
Bai Qixian knew very well that his father was right, but she still said, "Then I've married all the time. What else can you do if you say this now! What else can I do!"
"What to do? Divorce!"
Father's words made her wide eyes and stood there in a daze. Then, she angrily threw down a sentence: "You can say this too", and pulled Bi Zhenyuan and left.
is still a bit angry. Bai Qixian thought at the time, I must live a good life so that all of you know that marrying farmers can still be happy.
was really good at the beginning, except for being a little poor. Bi Zhenyuan was like picking up a college student as his wife for nothing. This was a matter of glorious family, so he also cherished Bai Qixian very much. The couple respected each other as guests, and their lives were considered beautiful.
Bai Qixian began to learn to carry water and cook, wash clothes, dishes and housework like ordinary rural women. Sometimes she would also doubt that she had been studying for so many years to do the work that all these illiterate people could do?
After a long time, Bi Zhenyuan's nature began to be exposed. Although he didn't have much ability, he was a particularly feudal machismo. He thought that if you marry me, you had to listen to me and serve me at home.
Bai Qixian actually did it basically. She basically did housework and she took care of the children themselves, but there were times when she couldn't take care of her. It was basically impossible to let her husband get a helping hand.
Because she married a local farmer and took root in the countryside, she became a typical example in the countryside. One morning, the township commune cadres asked her to give a report. She was still busy with school affairs, so she did not cook for home and hurried out.
When she returned home with exhaustion, she saw Bingguo Lengzhao and her husband's face distorted from anger. He shouted: Where did you go? If you don’t cook, do you want to starve me to death?
"You can't cook it yourself without cooking? You have to rely on me for every meal!" Bai Qixian was also very annoyed!
"Bang!" After a sound, she felt her face burning, accompanied by her husband's angrily roar: "I have done everything myself, so why should I marry you?"
I can't live this life! Bai Qixian turned around and left, requesting a divorce from the brigade cadres.But the other party just said to her lightly: "Whoever has no troubles in life? Don't file for divorce at any time. Go back and make it clear and live a good life."
can't make sense, and Bai Qixian really couldn't bear to leave her children, so she went home. When he returned, Bi Zhenyuan begged and apologized, and the matter was left unresolved.
But later, this became her routine, quarrel, attack, and apologize. After a long time, Bai Qixian felt tired and numb.
Bai Qixian also collected evidence to prosecute divorce, but they all gave up under Bi Zhenyuan's begging and the hunger of the child. Later, she applied to teach in the primary school in the next village and temporarily stayed away from home.
By chance, she wrote an article on her experience and sent it to the editor of " Hebei Daily ", which was published on the front page.
She did not complain directly, and because of the needs of the situation at that time, her article was eventually regarded as a model of "daring to completely break with the idea of despising farmers", and she also became a typical example of progressive youth.
overnight was almost famous all over the country, and people from all over the world came to visit, which made Bai Qixian very glorious.
This is precisely because of this. When facing media and other interviews, she would focus on her confidence and determination to take root in the countryside, and would not talk about her husband's domestic violence and conflicts with her.
1979, the Third Plenary Session of the 13th Central Committee was held, and Chinese society ushered in a new situation.
Under the new social situation with economic development as the main task, Bai Qixian's typical image of rooting in the countryside has become no longer important, and she gradually lost her attention and became an ordinary person again.
In the same year, she was transferred to Cangzhou Normal College to work, away from Xiangguozhuang . Her relationship with her husband gradually became indifferent.
Not long after, her father passed away. Before leaving, the old man was most concerned about her situation and told her: "Don't force yourself, if you can't continue, you will divorce him."
After the father left, Bai Qixian also reconsidered the divorce. My colleagues sometimes sarcastically at her, looked down on her for marrying a farmer, and said that she was becoming advanced by using such things that she couldn't get to the table.
At that time, people's thoughts also changed a lot, and good friends also supported her to make her own choices. So, in 1981, Bai Qixian formally filed for divorce to the court.
At this time, Bi Zhenyuan also saw it openly and agreed to the divorce. But this time, because their youngest daughter is still very young, the couple loves her very much, and neither of them is willing to give up her custody.
So, the divorce was temporarily put on hold again, and Bai Qixian agreed to make plans when the child grew older. In the days after
, Bai Qixian lived in school with her children alone. Her marriage was actually about to end, and she was ready to welcome a new life with confidence.
However, in the winter of 1982, Bi Zhenyuan received a call from the school saying that Bai Qixian had passed away unexpectedly last night.
It turned out that Bai Qixian, who had been working hard for a day, fell asleep when she returned to the dormitory room, but did not notice the overflowing gas . The doors and windows were also closed, and she never got up again. That year, she was only 39 years old.
Her life ended in a hurry, which was sad and thought-provoking. Now that 50 years have passed, I still look back and lament that wrong choice when she was young and frivolous.
