Xiaoyu, a freshman in college, had just returned home for the summer vacation. Her relatives called her and said: The child at home is not very good at English. You can come to our house to give her tutoring lessons. Xiaoyu worked part-time as a tutor when she was in school. She

Xiaoyu, a freshman in college, had just returned home for the summer vacation. Her relatives called her and said: The child at home is not very good at English. You can come to our house to give her tutoring lessons. Xiaoyu worked part-time as a tutor when she was in school. She finally waited until the holidays and wanted to go home and have a good rest. How should she deal with this matter? Her parents said that the content of the textbooks for primary school students is simple and easy to teach. Besides, She is your little cousin, please help her. Now Xiaoyu has to rearrange his summer vacation time. The camping appointment with my friends was also cancelled, and I spent half of the summer vacation tutoring my cousin. Since I have been a good girl in the eyes of my parents and relatives since I was a child, even if I am unhappy, it is difficult to express my unhappiness. Summer vacation is over, and Xiaoyu is finally free.

I used to have a colleague who heard that there was a breakfast shop downstairs from the apartment where I lived, so he asked me to help bring breakfast every day. One time I got up so late that I didn't even have time to buy breakfast and I was hungry to catch the subway. When I arrived at the company, my colleagues saw that I was empty-handed and asked why I didn't bring anything for him. I didn't care about him when I was full. After I explained, he said: Come earlier next time, I have a stomach problem. I thought to myself: If you have stomach problems, you won’t buy your own breakfast. What does it have to do with me? Besides, he had brought breakfast for half a month and often forgot to give me breakfast money. Although it was not much, it was seven or eight yuan a day. I had the spare money to take a taxi to work. I was too embarrassed to ask him for money. It was too distressing.

A friend lives in the same district as his colleague, two kilometers away. The company is more than 20 kilometers away from home, so it is difficult to wait for the bus. One day, the colleague told her that we were on the same road, why don't we get off work together. My friend agreed without thinking anything. When she was approaching her home, she was thinking about parking the car here and letting her ride the shared bicycle back. My friend is still anxious to go home and see her baby. She hasn’t seen her for a day and really wants to see that adorable look. Before my friend could say anything, my colleague said, if you drive further, you will reach my house. My friend couldn't save face and thought I'd give it away this time. When it was delivered, my colleague got off the car and didn't say thank you. Instead, he said he would pick me up early tomorrow and I'll wait for you. We were on the same road and we just happened to commute to get off work together.

Sometimes we have to learn to refuse, we have to be good people, not bad people. Don't let the words good girl kidnap you, you need to break free from conformity. Don't be so obedient occasionally, you don't need to be so easy to get along with, and don't get trapped in interpersonal relationships. Learning to say no is a compulsory course in the process of growing up in life. Catering to others unconditionally will only make people think you are in control and make you miserable. When you are tired one day because you have no way to meet other people's requirements, all the good things you did before will be forgotten by the other person, and you will face criticism from each other. Helping others unconditionally, not to mention whether there are any benefits, but more pain and trauma, you just need to be yourself and do it if you are willing to help. Don't force yourself when you have no time, and there is no need to maintain a good persona. Learn to say no and stop being weak. Your life is not to please others.

It is your right to refuse others, and you have the freedom to arrange your own time. Everything is in your own hands. If relatives at home need to make up lessons, you can suggest that she find a tutor. Without you, they will still have to make up lessons. When a colleague at work asks for help to bring breakfast, you can suggest that she order takeout. Without you, they will not be hungry; when someone asks for a ride to and from get off work, you can suggest that she take a taxi. Without you, they will still have to go to work. When you are embarrassed to say no to others, think about why they are embarrassed to embarrass you. Once you learn to say no, it will become easier for you and everything will be an ‘I do’. If we should refuse, we should refuse. We must neither be humble nor arrogant. This has nothing to do with being 'unkind'. Only relationships established on the basis of equality of personality can last long.