He has been traveling all the time in the past two years, ranging from a month to a year. He said it was a company requirement and he had no choice but to do so. What else can I say? Just go. I am at home alone. I usually take care of my children, take them to school, accompany my children to tutoring, and take my children to work on weekends. Sometimes my children have to stay in class with me until after 9 o'clock in the evening. go home.
is almost used to the days when he is not at home. When he is not at home, I read books, record videos, and sing loudly without fear of being laughed at by him; I arrange my children's study plans and implement them step by step, and no one makes trouble.
However, in fact, I still don’t want him to go on business trips all the time, because I feel that my relationship is getting weaker and weaker, and I am becoming more and more distant.
We always had video chats in the beginning, and I would call him when it was time for him to get off work. In fact, when I call and send videos every day, I don’t have anything to talk about. I just want to see him and talk about trivial things in life and my children. If I don’t have anything to talk about, I will keep the video on while he does his thing. I was doing my thing and there was really nothing else to say, so I turned off the video.
Later, when I had a video chat with him, he said something to me, and I felt that he was impatient and immediately hung up the phone. Then I stopped calling him and waited for him to call me. Telephone. It took about two days before he called me and asked me why I didn't call him. I told him the truth and he still laughed. In fact, we have never had any conflicts, and I didn't take it too seriously. I wasn't really angry. I was just playing a little temper to attract his attention. Then, I still took the initiative to call him, send him videos, and chat.
At that time, I didn’t feel that my feelings had faded.
Later, he traveled more and more frequently on business and became busier and busier. Sometimes when he was video chatting with me, a colleague would call him to deal with something, and we had to hang up in a hurry.
Gradually, I started to feel worse. I couldn't tell specifically what was wrong, I just felt like he was different from before. It felt like he was being careful with me, and I was much more polite to him than before. This feeling makes me feel that I am no longer close to him, which is a bit awkward. Maybe this is because of the alienation and the weakening of feelings. I no longer take the initiative to call him when he is on a business trip. He still sends me videos every day and chats about random things. I am not interested in many of the things I say, and he may not be interested in what I say. He just responds to avoid embarrassment.
So I don’t want him to travel on business. But the company arranged for him to go on a business trip, so I couldn't just not go if I didn't want to.
The day before yesterday, he suddenly answered a phone call and told me that he was going on a business trip that day. The air tickets had been purchased and personal belongings had been packed. He had prepared everything, but I was just informed that he was going on a business trip. I couldn't bear it anymore, and my heart suddenly went cold. I stood in front of him and started crying, asking him why he told me.
I didn’t dare to say that the voice I heard was a female voice. I was afraid that he would say I was being unreasonable. I imagined various scenes in my mind. I was crying so hard that I was out of breath and my heart was about to twitch. He didn't explain or comfort me.
Finally, my twitching heart pulled me awake. It's a dream. When I opened my eyes, he was sleeping next to me. I called him and told him that I had such a dream. Sure enough, he still didn't comfort me, and only said "hmm" when I called him.
He was awake, so I was sad again, until now.
