Psychologist Fromm said: "Love is not only an emotion, but also a commitment, a judgment, and a decision."
It is not difficult to like someone, but it is difficult to fall in love with someone.
Sometimes you will find that it is easy for you to like someone, but it is difficult for you to fall in love with the other person; even if you two have been together for a long time, you still feel that the relationship between you is still far from "true love" some distance.
If men are the "decision-makers" in relationships, once they identify a girl, they will move towards love without any reservation;
Then women are just "hesitant" bystanders in relationships. ; In the early stages of a relationship, she will have a try mentality and be hesitant, not sure whether the boy is trustworthy.
Only in the middle of a relationship will a girl’s love truly show itself.
Most girls are insecure in relationships and get along with boys with an uncertain attitude.
So, how to judge whether a boy’s love for you is real?
-01
A boy who really loves you will not only love your advantages
There is a " halo effect " in psychology.
refers to:
When we like someone, we will subconsciously ignore the shortcomings of the other person and only see the other person's advantages.
Although the other person has shortcomings, a bad temper, and a bad personality in the eyes of others, in your eyes, he is the perfect and the best person.
This is the first level of love. If you fall in love with the other person, you will ignore the shortcomings of the other person.
And the second level of love is to accept the shortcomings of the other person.
If a man truly loves you, don’t look at how much he loves you or whether he praises your advantages, but whether he can accept your shortcomings.
In love, there is actually the " barrel effect ".
Falling in love with the other person is not based on how many advantages the other person has, but whether you can accept the shortcomings of the other person.
Falling in love means falling in love with the advantages of the other person; getting married means accepting the shortcomings of the other person.
If a man truly loves you, he will tolerate you and accept your shortcomings.
Your fatness is plump and beautiful in his eyes; your little temper is innocent and cute in his eyes.
Therefore, when getting along with a boy, you can show your shortcomings appropriately and see if he can accept it.
-02
A man who really loves you will respect you
When it comes to respect, many people think:
Isn’t respect just about being polite and not losing your temper casually with your partner?
This is just one of the manifestations. Real respect is to accept the other party's suggestions and respect the other party's decisions and ideas.
Let me tell you a case:
A boy is in love with his girlfriend, but the boy is particularly possessive and controlling.
He does not allow girls to wear too thin clothes. Even on hot days, he requires his girlfriend to wear long sleeves and long pants, and does not allow girls to wear short skirts.
My girlfriend wants to sign up for a yoga class, but the boy doesn’t agree.
My girlfriend wants to go to the gym, but the boy still doesn’t agree.
To what extent has the possessiveness of boys reached?
When a girlfriend is chatting with her biological brother, boys will act jealous and angry.
This boy’s love style is a bit too extreme.
does not respect girls and wants his girlfriend to live according to his own will.
When the sexes get along, when a boy really falls in love with you, he will definitely respect your ideas first.
Maybe he doesn’t support you in his heart, but after weighing the pros and cons, he will still respect your ideas.
If you make a mistake, he will help you correct it; if you do well, then he will stand behind you, cheer you on, and give you praise.
A man like this really loves you.
Don't believe what boys say: "I love you and am willing to give everything for you."
He is not willing to support you or praise you, so how can he love you?
-03
A man who truly loves you will give you a clear life plan
Psychologist Sternberg proposed love triangle theory .
The three elements of love include: passion, intimacy, and commitment. These three elements,
, happen to be the progression of love for most people.
For example:
A couple, when they first met, felt attraction from each other, and then they were full of passion when they were together.
At this time, they quickly fell into love.
As they spend more and more time together, they talk about everything and are willing to share everything about life and themselves; as their desire to share further increases, the relationship between the two becomes more and more intimate.
Intimacy also includes trust, security, and companionship.
But this kind of feeling is not enough, it also requires commitment.
What is a promise?
You give the other person a visible future and a visible life plan.
When do you plan to get married, when will you buy a house, when will you have children; and, in order to move towards these goals, what will you do next?
These are all clear life plans.
A man who likes you will only "paint a big pie" for you.
Just like some bosses, they will only give you a big picture and say they will give you a salary increase; but after a year of increase, your salary does not increase but falls.
A man who likes you is like this. He is full of sweet words and promises, but almost none of them are fulfilled perfectly.
But the man who loves you is different. The man who truly loves you will give you a visible future.
gives you a promise that you will work hard to complete the agreed things and will not let you down.
Therefore, when you meet such a man, you should cherish it.
Today’s topic:
Can you feel it when a man falls in love with you?
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