Text | Reiko Feifei What is "mental stress"? I saw this question on Zhihu: Why is it said that women’s growth is self-awakening? One upvoted answer: Because if a girl wants to have a good life and win all her life, it’s not about how good her family is or how rich her husband is,

text | Lingzi Feifei

What is "mental stress"?

I saw this question on Zhihu: Why is it said that women’s growth is self-awakening?

A upvoted answer:

Because if a girl wants to have a good life and win all her life, it is not how good her family conditions are, nor how rich her husband is, but this secret: she is mentally weak. Girls with mental stress have many "hooks" in their hearts.

thinks so.

No matter what kind of life situation one is in, a person is under a high degree of mental pressure for a long time, and is filled with big and small things in his heart. Troubles of this kind linger in his mind, and he cannot afford to pick them up or let them go. He feels bad for himself. , it reflects full of negative energy to the surroundings, and everyone stays away from it. People like

, who work too hard mentally and have a bad mental state, will affect their partners, children, colleagues, etc. Of course, they will also cause varying degrees of harm to themselves, both physically and mentally.

There is nothing in the world, it’s just that people are bothering themselves with.

Lin Daiyu and Qin Keqing in " Dream of Red Mansions " are examples of mental stress. One is worried all day about not being able to love, and the other is worried about the collapse of his personality in Jia's family for a long time. The result was as expected, one could not love her in the end, and the honor of the most beloved granddaughter-in-law in the Jia family was no longer there, and she could no longer live. Both of them no longer cherished their body and mind, and committed suicide.

Lin Daiyu and Qin Keqing are typical manifestations of excessive mental exertion, relying on others for their own happiness and inner joy. However, Deng Girl, Qingwen, Fangguan, etc., who go their own way and do whatever they want in Jia's house, are carefree despite being at the bottom. Their lives are mainly about self-pleasure, and they live in physical and mental comfort.

Self-awakening means that the spirit is no longer attached to anyone, but that the inner heart is not controlled by the outside world, that is, the spirit is not powerful.

The secret of happiness: Mental weakness

Yang Jiang had a low period in her life, such as having her hair shaved off, but she did not fall into the trouble of overthinking.

asked her to clean the toilet and happily did it. After finishing, he sat quietly on the small bench to read and write.

Facing the harsh environment and the contemptuous looks of others, Yang Jiang felt no sadness in her heart.

Because she knows that none of these can stop her from pursuing the true meaning of life with inner peace and spiritual joy.

After the death of her husband and daughter, grief was unavoidable. She sorted out her mood and comforted herself by staying to "clean the battlefield" for her husband and daughter. She sorted out her husband's belongings, wrote a memoir " We Three ", and continued her career. Completed the translation of " Don Quixote ".

The waves in the outside world will indeed bring about ups and downs in our hearts. Only women with mature hearts will know how to erase the dust in their hearts bit by bit and prevent them from disturbing the originally spotless spiritual world.

On the premise of inner peace, you can do what you want freely and live the life you want. This is happiness.

When He Chaolian was interviewed, he was asked who he would most like to change his life with if he could? She said it was her mother.

mentioned that her mother resigned from her job to take care of her children at home. She was very tired and overly stressed due to all the work she did. For a period of time, she had to rely on drugs to maintain her physical and mental health.

He Chaolian's father is the famous gambling king Stanley Ho. When He Chaolian's mother married him, she should have had enough food and clothing, but she still faced huge mental pressure and relied on medicine to maintain inner peace.

The wealthy Mrs. He has a strong spirit and looks precious, but her heart is tumbling and suffering. If she can have a calm heart and a calm spirit, she will be many times better than a mountain of gold and silver. .

Tai He is lucky enough to be married to a gambling king. She is rich and has good family conditions, but none of these can bring her happiness. Real good fortune is inner strength and peace.

I think of the second aunt in "The Golden Family". She never worries or is afraid. The eldest wife's sons have a lot of money and are extravagant. The second aunt's monthly money is not enough, even if she sometimes needs to borrow money from the eldest wife. To maintain, she is not anxious, not jealous, does not fight or grab, plays cards, and goes to the theater. In the end, the Jin family is defeated. The second aunt gets a share of the family money, plus the support of the eldest wife, and she lives a happy and worry-free life in her later years.

The second aunt is a very sober person. She understands that as long as people keep their own one-third of an acre of land, do not cross the line, and have fun as much as they want; they do not need to pay any extra attention to things that do not belong to them. I wonder what else can disturb her. A calm heart?

Inner peace and abundance have nothing to do with money or the outside world, but to do with how you manage and manage your inner self.

How to be mentally weak?

might as well be a spiritual aristocrat.

Think about your ultimate goal in life? Is it success, happiness, money, body, inner joy? In short, it is to achieve a certain goal.

①In order to achieve this goal, the eyes of others must first be abandoned.

Tang Bohu said: The world laughs at me for being too crazy, but I laugh at the world for not being able to see through . If you don't live in the eyes of others, you will have fewer troubles in life. You must know that it is too absurd to measure your own life by someone else's ruler.

② Don’t cry over spilled milk, don’t worry about whether it will rain tomorrow.

People who have no long-term worries must have immediate worries. All worries can be stopped in moderation. Don’t put too much pressure on the spiritual world and move forward lightly.

③ Don’t be angry, jealous or unwilling for your own incompetence.

Wang Xiaobo said: All human suffering is essentially anger at one's own incompetence. Accept your own ordinaryness, otherwise, keep fighting and try various life possibilities. Putting yourself in the dilemma of " lies down " and " is unwilling to accept " is a disguised form of self-mental torture.

④ Busyness is a good medicine for anxiety . When people are free, they become flustered, have random thoughts, and are at a loss as to what to do. Being busy keeps you organized inside and out.

⑤Reading, enriching and pleasing the heart . Read books that suit you, be rational, think, and summarize. Don’t be brainwashed by chicken soup. Believing that books are worse than no books at all will cause mental burden and be counterproductive.

⑥ Being alone is a person’s carnival; meditation is a feast of being alone. "We never get tired of seeing each other, only Jingtingshan ". Li Bai , who loves liveliness and banquets, should also take time to appreciate the charm of solitude. Sitting quietly in the midst of a busy schedule is a baptism and polish for his heart.

⑦ Handle interpersonal relationships well. No one is alone. It’s best to have no more or less acquaintances. The collision of different souls, thoughts, and cognitions creates sparks, which is the enrichment of spiritual energy.

⑧movement. As Haruki Murakami said: Running, I gain more than just my body and mind. The mental burden is released through exercise, which is a kind of healing in itself.

There is no standard method or approach to happiness, but a person who treats everything and everyone with a refreshing attitude must be closest to happiness. May you be that person who is free of mental stress, free in body and mind, and lives your life.