The neighbor’s aunt has been quarreling with her husband recently. We can often hear the quarrel coming from next door, almost every day.
It is reported that the neighbor's aunt felt that something was wrong with her husband recently and suspected that he had someone outside. The husband felt that she was looking for trouble, so a war was about to break out.
In fact, in the relationship between the sexes, especially in marriage, when a couple lives together, some conflicts are inevitable and reasonable.
It’s just that sometimes, some quarrels are unnecessary. It will not make each other’s feelings better, but will make the relationship between two people more separated.
After a hundred years of cultivation, we can cross the same boat, and a thousand years of cultivation, we can sleep together on the same pillow. When a husband and wife get along together, they naturally want to make it better and happier.
Only by eliminating some factors that may cause each other to become unhappy can this marriage be made happy.
Psychological research shows that after getting married, not getting too close to your husband is a choice with high emotional intelligence.
The secret of a happy marriage is to seek common ground while reserving differences
There is a hedgehog effect in psychology. It refers to the fact that if the distance between people is too close, they will hurt each other because of some things.
are like two hedgehogs keeping warm. If they are too far apart, they will not feel the warmth. If they are too close, they will be pricked by each other's thorns.
Therefore, only the distance that is neither far nor close is just right.
We often say what kind of marriage is the happiest, or what is the secret to keeping a marriage happy?
In fact, the secret of a happy marriage lies in the ability of both husband and wife to seek common ground while reserving differences, without being suppressed, forced, or overly intimate.
As the French writer Mauroit said: "In a happy marriage, each person should respect each other's tastes and hobbies. Two people can have the same thoughts, the same judgments, the same desires, and the most absurd ideas. .”
Convergence without difference is not the best way to get married. The best marriage should be harmonious but different, with certain differences retained.
The comfortable interpersonal relationship pursued by couples should also be simple and clean, neither clinging nor sticky. One person likes to be quiet and the other likes to be alone, so give each other more space.
One person likes to go shopping, while the other person likes to stay at home, listen to music, and watch TV. The two of them can do their own thing without interfering with each other.
A good marriage is not about forcing the other person to be like you. A good marriage is when we have different hobbies and different lifestyles, but I will still respect you, and you also know how to value me.
Only in this kind of marriage can we gain stable happiness.
The way husband and wife get along requires a certain amount of private space.
Teacher Hu Jianyun once said this: "I think the best state of marriage is that at home, there are fireworks in the kitchen; outside, there are worries, There are greetings; in spirit, there is communication and understanding; in life, there is respect and tolerance. "
It is true that in the world of adults, we should not cry like children when we encounter unhappy things. I want someone to talk to but don't know who to talk to.
Therefore, the collapse of adults is often silent. Adults are more inclined to give themselves a quiet space to digest these bad emotions alone.
In marriage, there will also be pressure of one kind or another between husband and wife.
At this time, if the distance between the two parties is too close, those bad things will become the trigger, and even each other's feelings will be innocently implicated.
Everyone needs a private space of their own to digest their emotions. It is not cold violence or indifference, but this is a way for adults to deal with problems.
It is a good way to deal with it if we don’t disturb or invade each other’s personal space. We can also wait for the other person to calm down and then get closer.
Quenching effect: Appropriate distance can reduce the temperature of marriage
There is a quenching effect in psychology. It refers to the fact that after high-temperature metal components are immersed in coolant , the cooled metal components will become More stable.
If the distance between husband and wife is too close, the temperature of marriage will rise. If the temperature is too high, marriage will become fragile.
At this time, keeping the distance between each other is equivalent to immersing the marriage in coolant, which can increase the stability and firmness of the marriage.
Romain Rolland said: "The so-called happiness lies in knowing a person's boundaries and loving these boundaries. The distance and boundaries between husband and wife are actually love and respect."
I don't think the relationship between husband and wife is close. , or a woman is particularly passionate about her husband, which can make the marriage relationship extraordinarily beautiful.
In fact, some avoidable conflicts are sometimes caused because the distance between two people is too close, and being too enthusiastic can sometimes become a burden to others.
Therefore, the best way for couples to get along is to keep the distance between them as close as possible, and keep the marriage at a constant temperature.
