I sometimes wonder, when we leave, what truly belongs to us.
may only have those memories.
When I was young, my parents held small birthday cakes and surrounded me; when I was in middle school, I rowed in the park with my classmates; on the day of college graduation, I said goodbye to my teachers and classmates; I shined at my workplace; and Friends go shopping and chat; they have just started a family and decorate the house brick by brick; the child’s first cry; riding waves on the beach with my husband and children; the music I have listened to, the movies and books I have read, the days I have enjoyed Sunrise and sunset, the delicacies I have tasted...
I have always felt that many Chinese women live a very miserable life. I’m not trying to promote antagonism between men and women, nor am I saying that Chinese men don’t have a hard life, let alone that every Chinese woman is a good person.
I just said that Chinese women generally suffer from themselves. On the one hand, to cope with social competition, women must do better than men to have a place. On the other hand, they still have to take on family tasks, especially the work of raising children. And women are sometimes accomplices in persecuting their own kind.
For example, both mother-in-law and mother will intentionally or unintentionally tie their children's growth to their daughters' personal achievements. Not to mention the various intentional and unintentional belittling and ridiculing of older unmarried women by female relatives.
Middle-aged women are in the whirlpool at the intersection of traditional Chinese thoughts and modern thoughts, and our next generation no longer believes in traditional culture so much, and their situation will be freer. Of course, it’s not certain whether they will be happier.
Middle-aged women of our generation generally bear heavy responsibilities on themselves. We have responsibilities to our parents, husbands, and children. At the same time, we also have responsibilities to society and the country. But we must not forget that we must first not give up our responsibility to ourselves. We must learn to love ourselves.
Giving up oneself to love others is actually very easy to cross the boundary and end up becoming a problem for others.
In fact, the greatest sorrow for anyone is that his health is not good.
As long as you are basically healthy and can eat and move, everything else is easy.
Families don’t get along, careers don’t go well, children don’t work, business loses money…it’s really nothing. As long as you live long enough, these things will happen to you. Trouble will always come one after another. There is no such thing as smooth sailing no matter where you go in life. Solving difficulties is lifelong.
But life is not like that. There are only two states: one and zero.
I have personally seen some middle-aged women who were really good at everything and tried their best in everything, but suddenly passed away. For her, everything in the world instantly returned to zero. The position is no longer yours, the husband is no longer yours, and the children are no longer yours. Your parents have no one to support you, and your wealth belongs to others to enjoy. Your friends and colleagues gradually forget about you.
Nowadays, no matter how incompetent your child is, you can still hold his hand and go to the park to play together. Your husband is no longer promising, but he can still talk to you. No matter how little money you have, it can still satisfy your needs. No matter how nagging your parents are, they can still warm you a bowl of soup. No matter how humble your position is, you can still earn some salary. Even if you don’t have any of the above, you can still walk on the street, look up at the sunset, and enjoy the gifts of nature.
Here and now, he is already middle-aged and worth living.
Author: The wind blows gently
link: https://www.zhihu.com/question/533712224/answer/2558531945
Source: Zhihu
