01Montagne said: "The troubles of managing a family are no less than governing a country." Each of us will have a family when we are born, and when we grow up, we will form a new family. From a certain perspective, the process of growth is the process of changing from a child to

01

Montagne said: "The troubles of managing a family are no less than governing a country."

Each of us will have a family when we are born, and when we grow up, we will form a new family.

From a certain perspective, the process of growth is the process of changing from a child to a parent.

"Although a sparrow is small, it has all five internal organs ". Home is a microcosm of "country". Being in charge of a household is like being an "official", which requires careful thinking and strategizing.

If you have the right way, people will be kind, your heart will be kind, and your family will be safe. Family happiness requires many factors, no one is missing, and no one can stay out of it.

Many times, we think it is a natural disaster, but it is actually a man-made disaster. Therefore, it can be seen that in truly unfortunate families, there are generally the following types of people .

02

First, people who are naturally suspicious will harm each other.

We often find this phenomenon: we give good looks to outsiders and bad emotions to family members; we take provocations from outsiders seriously and are very impatient with family members' explanations.

Because we don’t know enough about outsiders, we often believe and listen to others. We know our family members too well, but we don’t talk much about what they say. This is because of the confusion caused by the change in distance.

Shakespeare said: "There is no legacy as rich as honesty."

You should be honest with your family, even if it is a lie, it should be regarded as a "white lie." However, many people cannot do this.

At the end of the Qin Dynasty , Liu Bang and Xiang Yu became heroes, each dominating one side and complementing the other.

Liu Bang asked minister Chen Ping, how can we unify the world?

Chen Ping said that Xiang Yu has advisers Fan Zeng and Zhong Limei around him, which are not easy to deal with. However, Xiang Yu's naturally suspicious character can be used to make them suspicious of each other and hurt each other.

Later, Chen Ping spent ten thousand taels of gold and sent people to spread rumors around Xiang Yu, saying that the advisers had the idea of ​​​​rebellion and carving up the land. Soon after, Xiang Yu became restless and deprived his advisers of their power. Fan Zeng therefore retired and returned to his hometown.

There is a word called "rebellion in the nest", which is a taboo in the family. If you are doubted by your family, you will feel very sad; if you doubt your family, you will become alienated from your family. There are no human beings inside and outside, and we are in a dilemma.

03

Second, people who are greedy are obsessed with money.

At the end of the Warring States period, Qin Shihuang sent people to attack the State of Zhao. The Li Mu of the State of Zhao led his sergeants to resist vigorously.

If the hard one doesn't work, use the soft one. Qin Shihuang secretly sent someone to send a large sum of money to King Zhao's minister Guo Kai. Guo Kai took the money and said, "Li Mu led his troops out to rebel."

Later, the Zhao army without Li Mu was completely defeated, and the Zhao country was destroyed.

Guo Kai, a high-ranking minister, should not be short of money, but he is not greedy enough and cannot see the development situation of the world. Therefore, he destroyed the big family of Zhao.

"It is better to have fun alone than to have fun together." If a person is selfish, he will take advantage of the big family and make everyone feel uncomfortable.

Around us, brothers and sisters often compete for property. The reason is that everyone is very greedy and hopes to "take it all" from the beginning.

There are also some people who use the secrets of the family business as bargaining chips and sell them to outsiders. One person benefits and the whole family suffers.

04

Thirdly, people who are lazy and enjoy eating will be left in vain.

Everyone hates prodigal children, but we rarely see the fact that children's character is cultivated step by step by their parents. In other words, children are ruined because their parents lack education and do not know how to educate.

For example, if parents are 100% satisfied with whatever their children want and do not know how to refuse, they will naturally develop children who can reach out for clothes and open their mouths for food. If a child is unwilling to study and his parents do not force him to do so, he will naturally develop an uneducated child.

In " Jinshu ", there is such a story.

Emperor Hui of Jin I heard that the people had no food to eat and the famine was very serious. He said calmly: "Why don't they eat meat porridge?"

Sitting in the Jinlan Palace for a long time, they don't know the suffering of the world. Whose fault is this? It is obvious that education through hard work is indispensable for everyone. Unfortunately, many parents are eager to protect their children.

A prodigal son can destroy the foundation of several generations, which is sad.

05

Fourth, people who stick to the rules have no vision.

Mencius said: "Yao was worried about not being able to get Shun, and Shun was worried about not being able to get Yu, Gao Tao . The husband who is worried about not having a hundred acres of land is a farmer."

Yao, Shun, and Yu are concerned about the country. For big things, I hope to get talented people. Ordinary people think about their own one-third of an acre of land.

It is natural to think about different issues in different locations, but if a family wants to have long-term peace and stability, it must dare to break through the "one-third of an acre".

For example, the older generation makes a living by farming at home, while young people have to go out to work and start businesses, or cultivate orchards at home.

Without a big picture, the family will be in trouble, and everyone will feel that the family is a burden and a cage.

If there is a person with a small structure in the family, then he will find ways to prevent everyone from "innovating, starting a business, and going out". As a result, those who have ideas become fearful and afraid to move forward.

It is difficult to achieve success in a person, but it is easy to pull someone into trouble. This is a problem where people have different structures and restrict and hurt each other.

06

As the saying goes: "To untie the bell, you must tie the bell."

For the above types of people, we should prescribe the right medicine and learn to do the opposite. Not only can we change them, but we can also bring family happiness back to us. The key is to add the following elements to your home.

one, trust each other. establishes small goals for the family, and provides more interactions to cultivate a sense of trust. When "rebels" appear, you must take the initiative to tolerate them and use actions to prove that you are reliable. Once you come and go, "people" you don't trust will be kicked out.

Second, be content and happy. looks for reasons to be happy, once a day. Even if your property is lost, you still have to say "spend money to eliminate disaster"; even if you get less benefit, you still have to smile to show your generosity.

Third, be diligent and thrifty. Make a plan for family expenses. As long as you have extra money every year, everyone will feel happy. At the same time, we must be willing to force those who are lazy and lazy to work. If you persist for a period of time, the joy of labor will replace all kinds of complaints.

Fourth, enlarge the pattern. held a Zhuge Liang family meeting to allow everyone to speak freely. Then seek common ground while reserving differences and find a direction that belongs to everyone. When there is something big to do in the family, the family will be more united and willing to contribute. Over time, the family will move towards a higher level.

Bernard Shaw said: "Always remember this: the most extraordinary beauty in the world is the beauty of home."

Managing a family is not easy, but care can resolve everything.

Author: Commoner.

Pay attention to my words and enter your heart.

The pictures in the article come from the Internet.