The most interesting and practical psychology of working every day
A freshman and senior boy posted on Zhihu that he wanted to break up with his girlfriend of two years. He said: "She is very motivated, but I can't marry such a rural girl." This incident aroused heated discussions among netizens. Some supported the boy's choice, while others called the boy a snob. Everyone expressed their own opinions.
The fierce collision between love and reality is once again eroding people's fragile hearts, and the right match is destroying traditional love.
We lament the changeable nature of human nature, but we can actually understand the boy’s choice. Although the boy grew up in the city, his parents were just ordinary workers, and it took half a lifetime to help him improve his class and quality of life.
A girl was born in a rural area and has a younger brother at home. As her parents grow older, the responsibility of raising the younger brother is likely to fall on her shoulders. If a boy chooses to get married to her, it means that it will not be easy to change. Quality of life will decline again.
Although the probability of a good match is vulgar and old, it is a law that still exists in human society after thousands of years, which proves that it has the value of its existence. We should not blindly reject this concept. Objectively speaking, a well-matched emotional marriage is stronger and longer-lasting than an unequal emotional marriage.
So after weighing the pros and cons, the boy chose to break up, even if he really liked the girl. Frankly speaking, I don’t want to blame boys for their choices. Everyone wants to live a better life and get more for themselves, which is understandable.
We don’t have to spend too much time complaining about the unfairness of the world, especially those things that we cannot change.
I remember Teacher Luo Xiang once said: "There are many things in life that we cannot decide personally. We can only change them at the level we can choose." As an adult, we have to recognize our own situation. responsibility and be responsible for your own choices.
Take the boy who posted this as an example. He made a choice that he thought maximized his interests. If he doesn’t meet the opposite sex he likes again in the future, he shouldn’t complain; if he is put in the interests of others by the opposite sex Compared with others in the chain, he has no right to be angry and dissatisfied. In short, he must learn to bear the consequences of his own decisions.
The plight of the girl is indeed pitiful, but there is no need to complain about the unfairness of the world all day long. Injury is a must-answer on the road of life. If you feel sad and heartbroken, stop and take a good rest. Once you have adjusted, continue moving forward. Don't waste your life by staying where you are. That won't change anything.
Although people born in humble circumstances cannot change their birth and parents, you can change your knowledge, cultivation, abilities, and experiences, improve your life bit by bit, and achieve final victory. It is not impossible.
Every time you change a little, you have more chips to compete with reality. The more changes you make, the more chips you have in your hand, and the greater the probability of winning the battle of life.
Of course, the road across classes is difficult and difficult. In addition to staying calm, you also need to have the following awareness.
1. Acknowledge the reality
There is a very classic line in the movie "The Godfather": "Those who spend a second to see through the essence of things and those who spend a lifetime to see through the essence of things have completely different destinies." Many people cannot change themselves. The fate of people is often not because they really have no chance, but because they are unable to recognize the truth of the matter, so they cannot find an entry point for change.
And one of the most common mistakes this kind of people make is that they are unwilling to admit reality and like to flaunt themselves with nihilistic morality. But only by acknowledging the cruelty of reality can a person see the essence of the matter clearly and find a breakthrough.
Of course, this is not easy for anyone, because it means admitting that you are ordinary, vulgar, and incompetent.
So those who can do this are truly ruthless characters, and they are also the ones who can ultimately change their own destiny.
2. Change what we can change
After recognizing the reality, many people will be frightened by the cruelty of reality and feel that their future is dark and there is no possibility of happiness.
This is really a complacency. The operation of society is indeed regular, and social classes are indeed solidified. But please don’t ignore the chaos of society. As long as you take action and do something, something will always change?
There is a rule called " butterfly effect ". One of the most common explanations for this effect is that if a butterfly in Brazil flaps its wings, it may cause a tornado in Texas a month later. .
After you recognize the reality, you may feel sorry for yourself and feel that you are ill-fated, but don't do it for too long. Do something positive and positive. You may not see any effect in a day or two, but in a year or two , you will always get something after ten or eight years?
Being born in rural areas does not have an advantage in the initial competition in society, but it does not mean that it will never have an advantage. At any rate, the girl in the above case has changed her academic qualifications through study and has crossed a circle. She will continue to work hard and continue to change those who can. Change things.
Even if life does not change drastically, it will not be too bad.
- The End -
author | Tommy Da
editor | Wan'an
first psychological writing team | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).
WeChat public account: First psychology
