How to make a man willing to invest in you and trust you to hand over the financial power to you?
The problem of "no financial control" is very obvious in the cases we come across, especially in families after remarriage and remarriage. Many cousins were not good at things in their first marriage, and they found it even more difficult in their second marriage.
So, today my sister-in-law wants all my cousins to remember three key words, which are:
Accumulate a sense of identity + show weakness + win-win thinking
Many of the cousins attending the class already have children, and those who do not have children have seen others. The situation of educating children. Think about it, everyone, how do we make children self-disciplined? Have you noticed that the vast majority of parents adopt the policy of "staring to death" their children when it comes to doing homework, just like the attitude of "staring to death" after discovering that their husbands are dishonest.
But a person's self-esteem will be high, and his self-discipline will be high. In the same way, only by motivating children to think that they have the ability to control themselves and knowing how to control themselves (this is very important) will they be able to achieve self-discipline instead of "heteronomy".
So the most important thing for a person is the sense of value and belonging. The sense of belonging is that someone loves him (note that the love here is the love that the other person wants and can accept, not what you think you give him. , the love you think you have), and the sense of value is worth.
So if you want a man to trust you, even give you financial power and invest for you, he must accumulate, your sense of identification with him; feel the needs of you and your family for him, acts coquettishly and shows weakness to get care; at the same time, every small progress he makes will gain your recognition, and every time you invest, you can accurately give him the feedback he needs.
Come and analyze practical cases for everyone.
In one of the cases I was tutoring, a cousin told me about such a situation. She said that she and her husband started from scratch together. It can be said that the two of them endured a lot of hardships and started their own company step by step. However, they shared the joys and sorrows and always had different decisions in the company. Opinions and even heated confrontations in front of employees.
Gradually, my husband intensified the pressure. When he got home, he would always fire bullets at him, so my cousin was highly stressed and suffered every day.
My cousin said that no matter what he said was right or wrong, he just insisted on confronting me, forcing me to give away some rights in the company, and trying every means to make me a full-time wife at home. Of course, the elder sister-in-law firmly told the cousin that being a full-time housewife would not solve the problem.
The cousin provided a key piece of information, saying that this man often said "Who is the head of the family in our family?"
And this cousin chose not to speak every time, because what she was thinking was:
"If it is him, he will have something to say later. Since you are the head of the family, why don't you listen to me? Another one. It's so noisy and annoying.
If it were me, let alone, it would be noisy.
If you tell him that he is the head of the family, but he must also listen to his wife's opinions, his expression will be disgusting every time. She impatiently resisted preaching, so every time he asked this question, she could only choose to remain silent.
My cousins, you can also use your brains to think about it. If it were you, how would you deal with it?
My sister-in-law first systematically analyzed the fundamental problems of their relationship with her cousin, as well as the abilities that the cousin needed to develop and the parts that needed to be adjusted, so that she could become an influential person to this man.
After a period of practice, my cousin understood all the habits, likes and dislikes of this 'big fish', including the differences between men and women, and after systematic training of one-to-one students, my sister-in-law told her that if he If I ask you this question again, you can answer him gently and calmly:
"Of course it's me, of course, you are a little worse than me." No matter what his attitude is, we can reply to him with a wink - you He is the king of the family. In cases like
, in fact, what men really care about is not right or wrong, truth and efficiency. Sometimes it is clear that your suggestion is effective for the company, but the more he wants to refute it, the more it shows that this kind of man does not get recognition from you.
Even though he started from scratch and worked hard together until now, he has his own company and has experienced so many ups and downs in his life. Even the people next to him praise him and he has a sense of superiority. At this time, you are the only one who always gives him a competitor. Same feeling. So he will crush you, provoke you, and find trouble with you.
His sense of value and belonging to you is not obvious, or is missing.
So the problem-solving idea must not be based on right or wrong, winning or losing, must be based on emotional feelings.
After my cousin replied to her husband’s words, the man did not reply and was not shocked. When I got home that night, my attitude changed very significantly. I looked at my cousin like I was observing a strange species. Fortunately, my cousin experienced silent accumulation in the early stage. The learning and training have withstood the test of observation and in-depth exploration, so the subsequent series of interactions have become smoother and smoother, moving towards our expectations step by step.
In this actual combat, it is very obvious that the sense of identity and win-win thinking are used.
Later, when I caught a key opportunity, my sister-in-law taught my cousin how to implant the relationship between women and wealth into the man's mind.
caught an opportunity and deliberately acted out a scene with her sister-in-law. The sister-in-law pretended that they were friends she met at the gym. When she chose this man to be at home, she chatted with her about some fitness and health care content, and sent them one by one by voice. Then he turned up the volume to the maximum, and then started chatting. At the end of the conversation, he deliberately said:
"When I first met you at the gym, I couldn't tell that you were in your forties. I really thought you were in your late teens. My brother-in-law must be a wonderful man who dotes on you to the core. "
My husband especially supports me in exercising and taking care of myself. He said that the more a man dotes on his woman, the better his relationship will be. If the relationship is good, the luck will be better. More importantly, the wealth will be very good. Because women are water, and water is wealth. No man is willing to quarrel with his woman before going out every day. If the woman at home is well, she is living water, and she can bring in living wealth. So it’s really amazing. As the relationship between us got better, his position gradually climbed up, so I said that I am a prosperous person, haha, we are both prosperous."
Similar to this, you said something to me, and acted appropriately and accurately. This cousin learned from me for a while, and this man went from monopolizing power day by day to delegating power to directly giving power to others. To this cousin.
Of course, she also worked very hard and did a lot of homework on the company's operations, and her financial management skills have also been greatly improved.
After that, she used the tricks she learned from her sister-in-law flexibly when it came to managing relationships. , the emotional crisis is over, and the emotional temperature is rising.
Therefore, emotional management ability can be learned, cousins, please work hard to improve it!
