The most interesting and practical psychology of working every day. The Chinese have an old saying called "Raise children to prepare for old age." Behind this sentence actually reflects a view on intergenerational relationships, that is, the elders raise their children, and the c

The most interesting and practical psychology of working every day

There is an old Chinese saying called "Raise children to prepare for old age". Behind this sentence actually reflects a view on intergenerational relationship , that is, the elders raise their children As adults, children in turn support their parents after they reach adulthood.

This intergenerational ethics has almost supported the development of Chinese civilization for thousands of years, forming a social schema centered on the family and with the father-son relationship as the main axis.

So with the substantial development of social productivity and the changes in the relationship between different age groups, does this relationship still exist?

In fact, according to some phenomena in recent years, we can find that for two different generations, parents who have worked hard to raise their children are still continuing their own struggle; while enjoying the care of their parents The children who have received convenient conditions are still exploring their life goals under the "protection" of their parents.

To give the simplest example, in today's society, most of the people aged 20-30 who are supposed to work and earn some income for their families are still in school, looking for jobs and preparing for exams. Among them, there are still some who, although they are not within these scopes, are still holding a temporary job and looking for better job opportunities, that is, "riding a donkey to find a horse."

This is the so-called "new type of gnawing at the old": young people do not do nothing in the traditional sense, but accept a relaxed life with peace of mind for purposes such as preparing for exams and going to school.

In short, at the age when they should have earned income, they still lack financial independence. This pressure has naturally been transferred to their parents.

New type of "gnawing at the old" and the transfer of intergenerational pressure

The term "gnawing at the old" emerged at the beginning of the 21st century when the Internet era just came. It is used to describe those who have the ability to work to support themselves but do not work and just rely on People who are supported by their own parents.

This situation actually still exists today, but the difference is that similar behaviors are more common today, and as parents of young people, those born in the 1970s and 1980s seem to be more willing to be treated by themselves The children "gnaw".

So why does this happen? This is because the original "gnawing at the old" only focused on behavior, focusing on the reality that children do not participate in the work; but now more young people in their twenties are still unable to be truly independent because of their Parents also hope that their children can find their own direction in life through this period of time, whether through continuing their studies, qualifying examinations, or other means.

So in today's society, we can see many situations like this: children have graduated from college and can definitely find a job, but because it is difficult to find a job and cannot find a career that suits them, they choose to take the postgraduate entrance examination or the public examination. Or study abroad as a "transition".

It is true that at this stage, they have no financial income, and most of the expenses may come from their own families.

So in such a general environment, this "new type of gnawing at the old" phenomenon seems to be more inclined to the fact of "you are willing to do so": Young people want to postpone their employment for a while after graduation, and their parents He is willing to do this, so the pressure from life is naturally "transferred" to his parents.

Many people born in the 1960s and 1970s who are already parents believe that it is okay for them to suffer a little. As long as their children are successful, they will be happy in their later years.

Why is it difficult for young people to find a job?

The reason why so many young people choose to "transition" in various ways today is because it is indeed difficult to find employment in today's society.

According to data from relevant departments, there will be more than 10 million college graduates in the summer of 2022, and as many as 4.57 million people will participate in the 2022 National Postgraduate Unified Entrance Examination. The proportion of people taking public examinations is even more exaggerated. The admission ratio for the national examination has reached an astonishing 100:1, and the average ratio for the provincial examination is as high as 20:1.

The progress of society as a whole has led to considerable development in all walks of life. Behind these developments is the gradual increase in the requirements for the personnel hired.

In addition to social reality, there are also some conceptual and cultural influences.

For today's younger generation, the quality of life is much higher than that of their parents' generation. Basically since birth, they have caught up with the rapid development of the motherland; coupled with the rapid development of information dissemination and exchange, Many children born in these years have a collective sense of belonging to this generation.

For example, for many "post-95" and "post-2000" generations, their pursuit of material and enjoyment of quality of life are often higher than their parents' generation, and their ability to satisfy personal wishes is also stronger than their parents' generation.

In short, for many people born in the 1970s, there are often many children at home, and at the same time, the country needs to be built, so many people are willing to give up opportunities for personal development and instead contribute to the family and society. This This spirit of "sacrifice oneself for others" is contemporary.

Of course, this is not to say that the two generations are better or worse, but to illustrate the fact that today's young people pay more attention to personal development and are more courageous to pursue development; at the same time, their parents are absolutely supportive.

The fierce employment situation and the distinctive personality characteristics of the two generations have led to many young people today no longer eager to find a job to obtain income, but tend to use various methods to extend the distance between themselves and employment, while their families Will also support it.

Of course, this has led to more and more parents no longer worrying about their children's first job, but helping them find their favorite future path, which also increases their own pressure.

Thoughts: Where to go?

As this phenomenon of "intergenerational transfer of pressure" continues to deepen, various examination rooms have become the focus of people's competition, while some professions are no longer interested.

For example, many companies are facing serious labor shortages or even labor shortages. Many young people would rather engage in low-income jobs than do this kind of work. This seemingly contradictory phenomenon is exactly what is happening today. A reflection of group mentality.

For most families and individuals, this choice should still be based on their own specific circumstances. If there are good employment opportunities, it is best to directly find employment; if there is indeed no one who meets the requirements, and the family conditions allow the children to have full employment, If you want to review for the exam off-the-job, you can also consider it. Of course, the best time is two or three years, not too long.

- The End -

author | Tommy

editor | No Rain

first psychological writing team | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars

Reference: Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018) . Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205

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