If life does not force them, I believe no parent would be willing to let their children become left-behind children.
Most left-behind children live with their grandparents. When talking about grandparents, most people have the impression that they are kind and loving, but there are also a small number of grandparents who are incompetent and can even be said to be selfish. Self-interested. Although my case is just an example, everything mentioned below actually happened.
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It was 2001. Because my family had built a new house, my parents owed a lot of debt, so after the Chinese New Year, my parents went to Shenzhen to grow vegetables, and my brother and I were left to be raised by my grandparents. The year and a half that we stayed behind was a disaster for my brother and I throughout our childhood, causing lifelong harm and indelible pain to me and my brother.
I was only eight years old and in the second grade. My grandfather grabbed my hair and slapped me twenty or thirty times. He said, "Who told you to quarrel with others? And you were beaten by others! Then I will beat you to death first!" "I will never forget it.
The reason was that I had a quarrel with a neighbor's brother who was three or four years younger than me. The neighbor's brother wanted to play with me, but I didn't want to take him to play because he loved to cry. When he cried, his family thought we were bullying him, so I don't want to take him to play. So the neighbor's brother cried and complained to his grandpa. Maybe the child couldn't speak clearly. When his grandpa saw him crying, he thought I had hit his grandson. He came over and slapped me twice without saying a word. I felt very wronged at the time. So I went back crying and told my grandfather.
As a result, I was too stupid and naive. I thought my grandfather would help me. But it was okay if he didn't say it, but he was beaten severely if he did. I will always remember what my grandfather said at that time, "Whoever calls you beaten by others, I will beat you to death first!" So he grabbed my hair, slapped me on the left and right, and slapped me in the face. Twenty or thirty slaps, until the hands are tired. Yes, he felt that I was beaten by someone else, which embarrassed him. He didn't dare to settle the score with others, so he beat me to death first to vent his anger. When I was eight years old, I covered my swollen face, squatted on the ground and cried bitterly. I still can’t figure out why.
From that time on, I began to dare not mention anything to my family, no matter what grievances I suffered, or file a complaint, let alone complain, and I would swallow all my sufferings.
I still remember another thing. Although I was young at that time, I had a good memory. At that time, a relative of mine asked me to memorize the text and said that I would be rewarded if I memorized it well. So I recited a text completely in front of him. He thought I was very smart, so he gave me ten packs of shampoo, which is the kind sold in the market for one yuan a pack now. My grandparents never buy shampoo. I usually wash my hair with washing powder. I got shampoo that day and was very happy, so I washed a pack. After my grandfather saw it, he asked me to give him all the shampoo for safekeeping. He told me to wash it several times in a pack and then ask him for it after washing.
It was summer, and children like to run. As a girl, I also like to skip rope with my friends. At the end of the day, my hair is always smelly with sweat, so I basically have to wash my hair every day. But grandpa refused to give it to me. He said I was wasting shampoo and refused to give it to me. Water in rural areas is free of charge. If water were paid for, people would probably say that I was wasting water.
Actually, it was useless for him to hold those shampoos, because his head was bald and hairless, but he just couldn't bear to let me wash my hair with those shampoos. Every time I asked him for it, he scolded me for using so much so quickly. Later, I simply stopped asking, preferring to wash with laundry detergent, so that those shampoos were expired and I almost forgot about them. Grandpa took them out and asked me if I wanted them.
It wasn’t until I grew up that I understood why that relative didn’t give anything else but shampoo. And I also vaguely remembered that before that, my relatives asked me what I used to wash my hair, and I said washing powder, so I started memorizing the text to reward shampoo.
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My grandfather was an extremely selfish person. He went to the market, hid the biscuits he bought, and ate them in the middle of the night. At that time, my brother and I slept on the same bed with my grandma, and my grandpa slept on the same bed by himself, all in the same room.I often hear him hiding in bed alone in the middle of the night eating cookies and peanuts, which my brother and I can't usually see.
One day, my grandfather suddenly took out some biscuits from his locked cabinet and asked my brother and me to eat them. My brother and I were very happy at that time. I think grandpa was very good to me and my brother. But the next second, when I took a bite of the biscuit, I realized that the biscuit had been stored for a long time and had become damp and deteriorated. He couldn't eat it himself, so he was willing to take it out for my brother and me to eat.
And there are many things like this...
The highest mountain in our village is called Sanjianfeng. It takes an hour for adults to climb up. When I was not studying with my grandparents for more than a year, I had to pick up two bags of dried pig manure and cross the mountain every day to help my grandparents grow ginger. Grandpa packed pig manure at home and filled my two bags to the brim. I said I couldn’t afford to pick up so much. Grandpa scolded me for being useless and just lazy. I was too scared to say anything, so I asked him to fill it up and staggered up the mountain.
That time, after I finished planting ginger, when I finished work at noon, my grandma asked me to fill the empty bags with sweet potatoes and take them home. There was a big sweet potato that I couldn't fit in, so she asked me to hold it in my hands and carry it back. So I picked up a load, carried one in my arms, and went down the mountain. Instead of going back early to rest, I went back early to make a fire and cook. Grandpa never cooked. He was lame and couldn't go up the mountain, so he stayed at home. But even if we were working outside and he was at home, he would never cook and wait for us to come back.
A little girl of seven or eight years old was already very tired after working all morning, and she still had to carry such heavy things back. I was hungry and the sun was shining brightly, so I just wanted to go home quickly. So while resting on the road, I forgot about the sweet potatoes I was holding, and happily returned home with a load of sweet potatoes on my shoulders. After I went back and cooked the meal, I remembered the big sweet potato.
When my grandfather found out, he beat me with a firewood stick as big as a table leg. The beating didn't stop until the stick broke. The red mark on my back didn't fade away for a month.
After finishing playing, he asked me to go to the mountains to find sweet potatoes. I was not allowed to go home until I found them.
I will never forget the experience of being beaten, hungry, and crying while going up the mountain to look for sweet potatoes at around one o'clock in the blazing sun.
I had breakfast at seven o'clock in the morning and went up the mountain. I have been doing farm work all morning. I haven't eaten anything yet. When I got home, I didn't even have a sip of water and I was beaten for a meal. I was very hungry and very hot, but I didn’t dare to stay. I had to run faster. What if the sweet potato was picked up by someone else?
It wasn’t until about two o’clock in the afternoon that I finally found the sweet potatoes. After I brought the sweet potatoes home, I thought grandpa wouldn't be angry anymore, but it wasn't over yet. In order to punish me for doing something wrong, grandpa made me kneel outside the door. And you are not allowed to kneel in the shade, you have to kneel in the sun. He also said that even if he got the sweet potatoes back, he would not be allowed to eat them.
At that time, I knelt under the sun, crying while basking in the sun...
In the end, my kind-hearted uncle couldn't bear it anymore, so he took me home to have a bowl of rice.
I was biting into a bowl at my uncle’s house, crying while eating rice. Half of the tears were grievances, and half were gratitude to the uncle.
During the year and a half when my parents went to work, I was beaten often, sometimes even for no reason. So at that time I learned to "hide in the mountains", that is, to hide in the mountains without going home. I hid three times, all at night. Sometimes I didn't even know what mistakes I had made, and I would be beaten and scolded until I was afraid of being beaten and scolded. I really didn't want to stay in that home, so I hid out.
At night, it is very dark in the mountains, and I am not afraid. I am also afraid of ghosts and snakes in the mountains, but I am more afraid of that person. I didn't hide at my relatives' house, because my relatives would only tell me to go home quickly, and would tell my grandfather that I was with them. Then I would be caught and beaten up again, so I preferred to spend the night in the mountains.
When my parents called me back, my grandfather said that I was disobedient and always liked to hide in mountains. My parents didn't understand and scolded me again. They started scolding me on the phone.
When my parents went out to grow vegetables for more than a year, my grandfather scolded me every day, either scolding my parents for not sending any money back this month, or scolding me for sending too little money. But I clearly remember that my parents sent us four hundred yuan every month for food expenses, but that money was not spent on us at all. It was 2001, and meat at that time only cost two or three yuan per pound. My brother and I ate moldy beans and moldy tofu every day for no more than four hundred yuan. Even with such food, let alone buying clothes, my brother and I didn’t buy any new clothes, shoes, or even socks for more than a year.
Grandpa always complained that my parents sent me too little money. He got angry and scolded me. While scolding, he said, "Your father and mother don't send enough money, so you have to do more for me!" He wanted to be eight years old. I do more and work harder to compensate. In his eyes, the status of this granddaughter is equivalent to that of a free labor force working as a slave, and he can be beaten or scolded if he doesn't go his way at all. But my grandfather only dared to scold me in front of my face and never dared to say these words on the phone.
For me, these are not the things I can’t forgive the most. I have to endure the suffering and grievances I have suffered, but my grandfather should never have let my brother suffer like that.
My brother was still so young at that time, only five years old. That year, my brother was diagnosed with pockmarks, which was smallpox. At that time, we could not eat oil, salt, or blow the wind. My brother couldn't eat anything. He didn't eat anything for three days in a row. Grandpa and the others were reluctant to cook some fresh vegetables and broth.
I still remember that what we ate every day was moldy beans, moldy tofu, and soaked tofu. Later, my grandfather finally bought bananas once, but he only gave two to his brother. He hid the rest and ate them himself. As for me, I only took one look.
During the time when my brother was having pockmarks, the best food he had was the two bananas. They were really ruthless. My brother was so pockmarked that he couldn't eat, so they really didn't care about him. They just threw a bowl of rice and a few moldy beans on the bamboo bed, and they didn't care whether my brother ate or not? ! In my grandfather’s words, “If you’re not hungry yet, you’ll know how to eat when you’re hungry.” They are so cruel!
That summer, my thin younger brother curled up feebly on the bamboo bed in the main room, looking like a dying old man. He is only five years old!
That old immortal thing was not willing to spend money to give my brother an injection, so he let my brother lie at home and said he would be fine if he slept for a few days. Every time I think of this, I grind my teeth with hatred. If there really was something wrong with my brother back then, I would dig that person's grave now. Such people do not deserve to rest in their graves, let alone reincarnation. Later, the uncle paid for it and called a doctor to give his brother an injection. If my uncle didn't care, maybe I wouldn't have a brother now.
The most ridiculous thing is that when my parents came back, they talked about how my brother's pockmarks lasted for a month, while others would have been fine in ten days at most. Grandpa said that he had visited the doctor several times, had injections, took medicine, and spent a lot of money, but he just couldn't get better! That's why it took so long. The kind uncle said nothing.
I was still young at that time, and I was also afraid of being beaten, so I didn’t dare to expose his true colors. It wasn’t until I grew up that my parents knew that my uncle had paid for the treatment of my brother’s pockmarks.
When my mother came to pick up my younger brother to go to Guangdong during the summer vacation, my younger brother only weighed seventeen pounds. A five-year-old child only weighs 17 pounds! Every time I think of this, my heart ache. Even when I grew up, I still blamed myself for not being able to protect my younger brother, and even because I was too young, I couldn't even protect myself.
During the summer vacation that year, my mother originally planned to take my younger brother to Guangdong alone. When I found out, I cried and wanted to go with me. I really didn’t want to take this place with me. Seeing how pitiful I was, my mother gritted her teeth and took me over. At that time, tickets to Guangdong were expensive, and my parents who grew vegetables in Guangdong didn’t have much money.
After my younger brother arrived in Guangdong, the first time he saw his father, he called out "Dad". Because he was weak and lacked energy, his voice was as thin as a cat. When my father saw how thin my brother was, his voice changed. A man in his thirties burst into tears on the spot.From then on, my father began to sell the land, but because the market was not good, he did not sell it for a while. The next year, my father came back and said he would never work again.
When dad came back, the prices of water spinach and had just started, and the market was just right, so you could make money right away. My mother wanted to farm for another year and earn some money before going back. The father refused and said, "The two of us have worked all our lives just for the sake of our two children. Seeing the children like this at home, no matter how much money there is outside, we will never make it." When the mother heard this, she also Decided not to plant anymore.
In this way, the miserable left-behind life of my brother and I ended.
But because my brother did not receive good care during the period when he was diagnosed with pockmarks, he still has sequelae and there are still many marks on his face. The two siblings, whose parents were neither short, were short in stature due to malnutrition and excessive picking of things in childhood.
I will never forgive you in my life! There is no way to forgive.
After my grandfather died, his uncles dug out a deposit of more than 30,000 yuan from his drawer. I will be reluctant to part with it all my life, but people who are kind to me will not be able to take this money with them until they die.
It was 11 years at that time. A lame old man with no retirement salary and no labor force. He had never made a penny before, so he just dug out 30,000 yuan from his teeth.
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Later, I seemed to understand why my grandfather was so cold and unhuman. My grandfather had one leg paralyzed since he was in his twenties. He never used crutches for decades in his life and suffered from long-term pain. The body and mind tortured by illness are also distorted and sick.
The day before the funeral, my mother told me, "When others come to hang paper, remember to pour water for them. When others are crying, cry too. If you can't cry, you have to pretend." But the next day, I didn't even shed a tear, as if an insignificant person had passed away. Mom told me not to hold grudges anymore! I didn't say anything, but a sentence came out of my mind - don't persuade others to do good unless they have suffered.
How can I forgive? I was only eight years old at the time, so I deserved this? And I almost lost my brother because of that stingy guy. How do I forgive? ! Although the old saying goes: "Debts disappear after death," there is also an old saying that goes, "Nothing can be taken away, only karma remains with you." If the karma created in this life has not been repaid, then pay it back in the next life.
