A letter from a reader said: My husband and I fell in love freely and got married. When we got married, I worked in a state-owned enterprise and my husband started a small business. Although my parents opposed our marriage, my husband was handsome and treated me well. I finally m

Readers wrote as follows:

My husband and I fell in love freely and got married. When we got married, I worked in a state-owned enterprise and my husband started a small business. Although my parents opposed our marriage, my husband was handsome and treated me well. I finally married my husband despite my parents' objections.

After getting married, I discovered that marriage and love are two completely different things. During this period, my husband and I would quarrel over trivial matters in life, quarrels about other family members, and quarrels because my husband often came home late and drunk with his friends. Probably since the fifth year of our marriage, my relationship with my husband has gradually faded. To be precise, my husband has become impatient with my nagging, which has led to me not bothering to care about my husband's private life.

In the blink of an eye, I am already 39 years old (my husband is 3 years older than me). Faced with my husband’s indifference, I met a 25-year-old young man through the Internet social platform. From him, I saw the shadow of my husband when he was young. In addition, I will take some time to chat with netizens. During this period, I would complain about my unhappy marriage, and he would complain about the difficulty of making money. After we had been chatting for about 6 months, we met in real life. When we met for the first time, there was no sense of unfamiliarity at all and we crossed the threshold on the same day. After that, we kept seeing each other three times a month.

With my lover by my side, I basically no longer have any expectations for my husband. The longer I stay with my lover, the stronger my thoughts of divorce become. A few days ago, I took the initiative to confess to my husband what was going on between me and my lover and filed for divorce. Husband’s attitude: You just lost your way home temporarily. I will use my care and enthusiasm to help you get away from your lover. And you must understand that I will never divorce you in this life. I hope that we A good marriage can lead to a long life.

Actually, I am also a little hesitant about divorce. After all, I have accumulated too many experiences with my husband.

Muzi Li Emotional analysis:

When we complain about our feelings, we usually have this emotion: ridiculing the bad qualities of our lover. The key is, have you ever asked yourself: What attitude do you have in this relationship? Many times, the reason why a married life is unhappy is definitely not the fault of one person. Maybe both people have some inappropriate things in the process of running their marriage. The main reason why the relationship between you and your husband has faded: one is nagging, and the other is acting his own way. The end result: you say your thing, your husband continues to do his, and gradually you no longer supervise your husband. As a result, your married life has evolved into a state of each minding its own business. In this case, he is greedy for his freedom, and you feel your loneliness. As a result, in order to fill the emptiness of being ignored by your husband, you get involved in extramarital affairs.

Let’s not talk about whether divorcing your husband is the wisest choice. Even if you divorce your husband, do you think your so-called lover will consider starting a new family with you? During this period, you need to consider the ties: the age difference between you and your lover. When he considers you as a marriage partner, can he pass the secular test; as a person with no marriage history, can he accept a married woman? Are you a married person? You are still a mother after all. Will you give up the affection for your child for your lover? Regarding the direction of your marriage with your husband, my suggestion is: if your husband wants to defend the integrity of your marriage, you should thank your husband for his magnanimity and kindness of not abandoning you, and separate from your lover from now on, and work with your husband on the management of the marriage. Adjust your attitude to ensure that your married life can continue.

I often hear many old couples lament: My marriage has encountered a bottleneck. In this case, someone treats marriage like this: divorce. Some people treat marriage this way: because children and parents are consumed in marriage. In fact, all divorce decisions are just caused by finding a new love or not falling in love anymore, because marriage is a matter between two people. Once one person fails to cooperate and makes the other person disappointed enough, even if they want to get married, It’s hard for them to get together.Something that must be admitted: Every relationship will have a burnout period. When a marriage is in a burnout period, the wrong person will get separated, and the right person will try their best to reborn the marriage.

I have also seen many people describe their parents' love like this: They have been quarreling all their lives, but they just won't divorce. In fact, all couples who are not separated are because of responsibilities, obligations and still love. Sometimes, we feel that other people’s marriages are unhappy. That’s just our feeling, not theirs. There will be misunderstandings and quarrels between husband and wife, but all those who want to make their marriage last forever will try to fine-tune themselves and be tolerant to their loved ones, while those who are self-righteous and too selfish will never care about peace and harmony. No matter who lives together, it is difficult for them to maintain their marriage for too long. What is

family? Probably, in front of others, you will complain about the other person's many shortcomings, and when others say bad things about you, you will immediately feel unhappy. And what is home: It is not a house made of reinforced concrete, but because of the people in the house, there are more worries. Every year, there are many people working hard outside, and they need to remember the way home. Once they lose their way home, their family will be separated. In fact, it is difficult for most people to make much contribution to society in this life. Therefore, if they do not cause trouble to the country and manage their own small family well, they are thankful to God. Therefore, the struggle of most people is actually to live and provide for their families. The process of living.

also believes that many people will feel that a person's life is very good at a certain moment, but as time goes by, they will find that: in fact, the meaning of life will be eclipsed invisibly for people who do not care about them in their hearts. In view of the above, I would like to give some advice to the besieged men and women: 1) Even if there are quarrels between husband and wife, do not lose confidence in the marriage easily; 2) In the process of running a marriage, you must learn tolerance, humility, giving and caring; 3) Don’t Use your inappropriate behavior to accumulate too much disappointment for those who love you; 4) Don’t forget our motivation to fight hard, and don’t lose your way home in the face of temptation; 5) There will definitely be a period of burnout between couples, which When the time comes, don’t choose divorce hastily, because 80% of divorced people regret it in the end, but there is no regret medicine to take.

Editor's note:

Because everyone's existence is unique, one's own emotions cannot be completely taken care of by the lover. When your emotions cannot be taken care of by your lover, you will be disappointed in your relationship and may even have thoughts of divorce. In fact, when you are unhappy, don’t simply complain, but calmly state your expectations for married life in front of your lover. When your lover still has the attitude of continuing the marriage, your lover will naturally adjust it through fine-tuning. Create an effect that takes care of your feelings.

What often happens between many couples is that when they encounter something unhappy, they don't mention the thing that makes them unhappy at all, and let their lover speculate on your thoughts through complaining. After all, not everyone can master the art of mind reading, so sometimes your lover cannot guess what you are thinking. In the process of managing a marriage, you must be embarrassed to express your needs in front of your lover. Perhaps there will be less embarrassing barriers between husband and wife, and the relationship between husband and wife will become much simpler during the relationship.

(pictures from the Internet, pictures and texts have nothing to do with it)