The most interesting and practical psychology of working every day
Although some women are beautiful, no man really likes her. Although appearance is a woman's first weapon, temperament can also become a butcher's knife, which will make this woman become "cheap".
Especially when it comes to emotional intelligence, women with high emotional intelligence are the most attractive, while beautiful women with low emotional intelligence are the most unappetizing.
Daniel Goleman, a well-known PhD in psychology from Harvard University , once proposed that four essential elements of emotional intelligence are: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and social skills. Women with low emotional intelligence often lack these four points and have the following three point features.
Like to complain and accuse others, and are not tolerant
Women who like to complain carry a lot of negative energy, have low self-esteem, and have not had a good growth experience. They are dissatisfied with the status quo and unwilling to change. They cannot accept the status quo of their own failures and are immersed in it all day long. In pain.
Women like this will pretend to be amiable on weekdays because they are afraid that their negative energy will scare others away. When you get to know her, you will find that the same words are on her lips all day long: "I'm so unlucky today" and "I'm just..." I've never been lucky. "My boss makes me work overtime all the time. I feel like my life is hopeless."
You are willing to give advice at first, but after a while, you will find that the target of her complaints begins to become you, because this type of woman is used to attributing the reasons to the outside world and never looks for the reasons within herself.
Because they are unwilling to accept the reality, they can only escape the pain in the form of self-deception, and you will find that you are his receiving bag all day long. When one day you talk to him, the other person immediately runs away. .
The main reason is that they lack social skills and do not know how to empathize and communicate with others correctly. It is not that they cannot empathize, but that they know how painful you are and can empathize with you, but they are unwilling to communicate with you. You empathize.
This is called cognitive empathy, that is, the empathy for others only stays at the cognitive level. To put it bluntly, this type of woman is selfish and has low emotional intelligence. Anyway, I am not living a good life myself. It is a good thing to see you in pain. . They lack the ability to tolerate others. They always hope that others will "save" themselves, but are unwilling to take the initiative to understand and tolerate others.
Easily emotional and do not know how to control emotions
The second most common symptom of women with low EQ is that they are very emotional. They usually lack the ability to self-manage. To put it bluntly, self-management ability means: having the ability to control the emotions that burst out, just right. The ability to express one's emotions freely.
Such women do not know how to control their emotions when they encounter a blow, but are controlled and affected by their emotions. 's first reaction is to be angry or depressed, or swearing uncontrollably, showing extremely low quality, or crying bitterly, feeling sad and desperate, as if the sky is falling.
This behavior of being calm in times of trouble seems to be with them forever. They are not relevant, they are not rational enough when dealing with problems, and they often act out of emotion. Many beautiful women are like this, and they appear particularly immature.
Self-management is the emotional ability to delay gratification and suppress impulses . Generally, people with more mature minds are more experienced and can control their time and emotions at any time and at any time, try to consider the consequences and the feelings of others at critical moments, and deal with difficult problems calmly and calmly.
When things are dealt with, they will find a suitable way to vent, instead of keeping it in their hearts. You see this is usually the case with some female entrepreneurs and female bosses. As women, they know their emotional weaknesses, so they are very good at cultivating themselves. The ability of self-management
Women who are very emotional are a sign of immaturity. They always put their own emotions first and choose to ignore the truth and real considerations behind things.
Poor independence, like to rely on others
The third manifestation of low emotional intelligence is like to rely on others. psychology believes that dependence leads to the phenomenon of regression and in individuals. A person who relies too much on another person will become more and more childish, which is commonly known as regressive dependency needs.
The essential reason is that childhood dependency relationships are not handled properly, resulting in an inferiority complex, which leads to "degradation" into childhood dependence patterns in adulthood. Such girls usually lack the ability to self-awareness and self-management. do not understand themselves well enough and like to ignore them. The potential within oneself requires constant feedback from the outside world to affirm one's own value.
Relying on others means having no confidence in anything. No matter what happens, they always want others to help deal with it.
Although I like to communicate with others to find peace of mind and a kind of spiritual balance. But they can't stand loneliness and separation. often causes huge conflicts on the issue of separation, making close people painful, guilty and unable to avoid . Such girls always hope that someone can accompany them at all times, just like relying on their parents. Unrealistic
It is worth noting that this type of girl likes to communicate with a strong sense of intimacy, but does not emphasize logic and lacks the habit of deep thinking, giving people a strong sense of childishness and childishness.
If you are one of the above three, it is time to start the path of self-awareness and self-salvation.
- The End -
author | Tommy Da
editor | Wan'an
first psychological writing team | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).
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