Text | Ms. Bai
A family with a big gap between her own conditions
The ancients emphasized "well-matched", and even today, it is not unreasonable.
There is a huge disparity in economic levels, and you will gradually feel at a loss after marriage.
does not have the mentality of looking down on or consciously trying to be superior. He just thinks about his children. The big difference in family circumstances will inevitably lead to many conflicts in the future.
It's like one's own family is in good condition, but the other family's family is in difficulty. The quality of life of the children after marriage is bound to decline. As parents, this is what they don't want to see.
Everyone hopes that their children will be better and better, so it is natural to worry.
To put it another way, marriage is no longer about love. You can be happy just by drinking enough water and having a little fuss.
Marriage involves daily necessities, food, rice, oil, and salt. There is a big gap in family background. Just in terms of consumption concepts, it is not easy to get along. You think it's good to spend money to buy happiness, but I think it's extravagant and wasteful.
You dislike me for not knowing the style, I smile bitterly because you have never experienced hardship.
There may be disagreements in every aspect, including dealing with people and things, and social circles. With each passing day, the rift between the two will only grow bigger and bigger.
Therefore, far-sighted parents will be extra cautious in this regard.
One of the parents
comes from a very strong family.
is a treasure at home, and it makes me feel bad every time I bump into it. After getting married, if you are treated like a piece of grass, your parents will definitely not agree to it.
Forward-looking parents will pay special attention to the atmosphere of the other party's family.
The family atmosphere has a huge impact on a person, which directly determines whether the child's life tone will be comfortable or depressing in the future.
If one of the parents in the other party's family behaves very strongly, life after marriage is often endless.
You will find that no matter how hard you try to blend in, you will be rejected and remain an outsider as always.
After getting married, you have established your family, but no matter what happens, you can't really make the decision, and your partner's parents have to intervene in everything big or small.
The second thing is that you don’t have the right to speak. What’s more terrible is that even if you are extremely wronged, your partner will not stand up and say a word for you.
is a typical "mama's boy". When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have conflicts, he either hides aside and doesn't care, or he favors his mother.
He has long been accustomed to being arranged and controlled by his parents, so the way to solve the problem is not to resist or argue with reason, but to be obedient.
Forward-looking parents do not want their children to be wronged in the future, so they will not agree to this kind of in-laws.
Everything depends on
The child’s own family
People say that as a parent, you always want to give your children the best in the world.
Some parents are not like this. Raising you is a gift. You should be grateful and don't ask for too much.
A reader once told me about his experience.
secretly dated for two years and decided to get married before bringing the boy to his parents to see him.
After finishing the meal, the parents expressed disapproval.
The reason is that they think that the boy is a good person, but his parents will not plan for the child, and the daughter will suffer hardship when she gets married.
The boy is the eldest son at home, and he has a younger brother and sister. They are both fifteen or sixteen years old, but they have been taken to work in the factory by their parents.
The boy himself dropped out of school early to work. His family conditions were not good and his parents did not agree to continue studying.
The boy is honest and accountable. If he gets married, the two of them will have to earn the house and car together, and his family cannot support him. In addition, all his savings over the years have been given to his parents to build a house in his hometown.
The reader's father feels sorry for this boy, but is unwilling to marry his daughter to him.
Obviously if they agree, the two children will have to rely on themselves for everything in the future, and may even be sucked by the boy's parents. The burden on their shoulders will be too heavy.
As a parent, naturally I don’t want to get married like this.
Housework and other trivial matters
are households where women are responsible
I read a post.
After 5 years of marriage, the wife chose to divorce because the husband did not dry the clothes for 4 days:
That time, the wife went on a business trip. When she came home 4 days later, she found that the clothes in the washing machine had not been dried and the kitchen was full of dirty dishes.
At that moment, the wife broke down emotionally and chose to divorce.
When a man gets married, he just has more people to take care of him; when a woman gets married, she has an extra family to take care of.
I never make less money, but I still have to do all the housework.
If you ask, "Why are women doing it all?", someone will quietly say, "Since ancient times, it has not been all done by women."
Only women work hard, while men enjoy the benefits and take it for granted without any consideration.
In a family with this kind of inherent concept, far-sighted parents, especially those with rich families, are bound to be unwilling to get married.
In marriage, two people are in an equal relationship, and there is no rule that the woman should be responsible for these things.
When love prevails in your eyes, in the eyes of your parents, it is full of real problems.
It’s not because they are used to weighing the pros and cons, but because they are far-sighted parents who don’t want their children to take detours and live a bad life.
Parents must love their children deeply.
✎Author: Miss Bai, a working woman, writes warm and powerful words, shares an interesting and meaningful life with you, accompanies you to grow, and accompanies you to be strong. The new book " Live the way you want " is now on exclusive pre-sale on Dangdang .
