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"Book of Rites·Quli" talks about the etiquette when treating others when eating. Although eating is a small matter, it can best demonstrate a person's details and moral character. According to the traditional saying, gluttony seems impolite, so people often refrain from picking up the last piece of meat out of sympathy, which does make sense.
Eating a table of food is like a group of people carving up a piece of profit. If there is only the last piece of meat left on the table, more than one person will definitely want to pick it up. Both of them feel that they "have not eaten enough" and want to get another piece of the pie. They speculate on each other. , first come first served.
In the end, whoever picked it up seemed to be greedy, so someone picked it up and put it in someone else's bowl to cover up his "intention". This way, he could not only make up for his fault, but also shift the responsibility to others, appear to be generous, and cause some problems. Misunderstanding:
Don’t force others to eat if they don’t want to eat it. A forced melon is not sweet. If others want to eat it, they will naturally pick it up themselves. There is no need for you to show off here. If you want to eat it, you can eat it openly. If you are willing to get instant The interests show that your ability can only match these small interests.
People who pick up the last piece of food are selfish.
Everyone at the table doesn’t pick up the dishes, but only one person picks them up. This shows that this is a person who values interests more than human kindness. After he picks up the dishes, others will feel unhappy. He But don't know it.
In life, this kind of people generally do not consider the collective feelings, let alone your feelings, and will not treat you as a friend. When encountering conflicts of interest and only one piece of the pie is left, they will only consider themselves. A person's character can be seen through whether he is greedy for petty gains. People with bad character will find it difficult to gain a foothold in society.
Research shows that those who love to take advantage have a common characteristic, that is, poor empathy and lack of empathy. They take advantage and make others uncomfortable without knowing it. This type of people is most obvious. One of the characteristics of
is that it is easy for you to ask you for help. You cannot refuse me. If you refuse me, it shows that you are stingy. Anyway, you will always blame you from the "moral high ground" and pin you down. On the label of "heinous", because of excessive self-esteem, he is used to others paying more, and he will not have any "psychological burden" in his heart.
Those who pick up the last piece of the dish will suffer sooner or later.
There is a story that makes people laugh and cry. There is a leakage problem in a house sold by a sales office. Residents frequently reported it, but did not get any answers.
Until one day such a person came and asked for three such houses. The residents were dumbfounded and refused to listen to their repeated advice. This person said: He is looking for this kind of house, and the people in the housing sales department are happy. Haha, follow the pandering to: Since people are willing to buy, the owners don’t need to worry about it.
But what was unexpected was: When he was about to sign the formalities and pay the money, the house buyer suddenly claimed to be from the housing quality inspection department. Everyone in the room was dumbfounded. They never expected that the other person was inspecting the quality of the house.
I thought I had picked up a big deal, but I didn’t expect that it was a trap that others had already dug, quietly waiting for you to fall into the trap. The last piece of food was left there. The same is true at work. A careful boss will be used to observing silently. Who is the employee who loves to take advantage of others?
The world is full of temptations. Many people like to take advantage of small things, which is a weakness of human nature. The love of taking advantage of small things is actually closely related to the family growth environment. These often lead to habits that are subtle and deeply rooted in the bone marrow. Most of them have unsound mental growth. It is generally difficult to deal with some problems in life and work, and the cognitive level is limited and the pattern is small.
If you meet such a person, you don’t have to worry. Just reduce your interactions. In addition, they are easy to deal with. When you need help from such a person, you only need to give him some favors, and the other person will be greatly satisfied for a while. I am willing to be a cow or a horse for you.
doesn't think about long-term things at all, so it's actually both pitiful and hateful. You don't need to advise them. These people are usually stubborn, don't like to listen to other people's opinions, and have a certain degree of paranoia. They only care about their own interests or the interests of specific people, such as family members.
People who are greedy for cheap always start with small gains.
may seem harmless at first, but it is an attitude. The attitude becomes natural and becomes an instinctive reaction. Coupled with the unlimited desire, it becomes greed, so when we face some temptations, we must understand: Pies will not fall in the sky, so you must keep your eyes open when taking advantage of others, otherwise it will be easy to fall into other people's traps, and in the end the gains will outweigh the losses.
- The End -
author | Tommy
editor | No Rain
first psychological writing team | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018) . Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205
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