Two words: hard boil. Let us compare to the principle of detoxification , from a physiological point of view, abstain from thinking.
Missing a person is essentially a kind of mental dependence, that is, mental addiction. This has a strong isomorphism with drug addiction, so when you endure no connection, it is like a drug addiction. It's uncomfortable to die.
In order to "quit drug", let us understand the principle of drugs. Through drug addicts, foreign morphinoid substances enter the body and feel pleasure.
But this inhibits the secretion of its own morphinoid, and finally can only rely on the external morphinoid substance to maintain the physiological activities of the human body, and the secretion of its own morphinoid substance is completely stopped. Without such substances, the human body will feel great sadness, and even the friction of the joints when walking can cause severe pain. This is why drug addicts would rather go bankrupt and break their bodies, but also buy drugs for ingestion.
The principle of missing someone is similar to this. When you come into contact with someone, your body will produce large amounts of dopamine and oxytocin under hormonal stimulation, making you feel happy.
Do you remember that the first few hours to meet this person, I started to be extremely excited, even nervous, rapid heartbeat, and sweating. Well, at this point, your "drug use" journey begins.
When this process is repeated in this way, your body is used to relying on contact and communication with this person to produce pleasant substances , and in order to achieve the balance of the total hormones in the body,When you are not in contact with this person, the body will reduce the secretion of such substances. This is why, if you do not contact that person suddenly, you will feel pain and even lose the ability to be happy.
To sum up, the pain you feel at this moment due to disconnection is because your body has adapted to the " has someone as the stimulus source" mode. Suddenly the stimulus is gone, your body’s hormones The level cannot be adjusted for a while, and there is no or very little production of substances that make the human body pleasant.
After analyzing so much, I think you should have understood that all you have to do is wait and believe that your body can adjust itself, and adjust again to a state where you can enjoy yourself without stimuli.
Let’s talk about what to do while waiting. (You can bookmark this article in case you need it from time to time)
First, change the goal of "hardening". When you are "drug addiction", what you think should not be how to let go, but how to survive the next two hours smoothly.
For example, if you go out to watch a movie with a feeling of sadness, depression and pain, then you have completed the two-hour "hard-boiled target" after sitting in the cinema for two hours. The pituitary gland also completed two hours of automatic adjustment. You can also go to the skating rink, trampoline park, board game hall, go swimming, go to DIY shops to do handicrafts, go to eat seafood that will not be fat... The principle is to count by hours, and you will succeed after one hour. Hour.
Second, a pro-test effective folk remedy, to do a blind massage. Choose a well-reviewed massage shop for the blind (remember to be well-reviewed) and talk to the blind master. Different senses often have different life experiences, which will allow you to look at life from a different perspective. And you have to know that physiology and psychology are related, and physical relaxation is helpful to the regulation of human hormones.
Third, as to whether to delete the black person: No.
You can choose to block this person's various social accounts, but if you ask me if I want to delete this person, my answer is, as long as there is no deep hatred, then you must not.
(but it is of course a good choice to black out and delete after you put it down completely) When you want to know the person's movement, you can know that it is actually beneficial to your body's self-regulation.
Imagine that if you suddenly lose your connection with this person, your body hormone level will drop off a cliff, which may cause a psychological stress response, thereby increasing the difficulty of self-regulation. If you can scroll through this person's circle of friends when you are particularly missing, then this will serve as a buffer, which is conducive to the psychological construction of this process.
Fourth, what should I do if I can’t help but contact? Then find a way to meet. When you can't help but keep in touch, remember to pay attention to one, don't express your thoughts directly, and don't make excuses, these two methods will bore the other party, and increase the regret of damaged dignity on top of your original pain.
Try to go where the other party is likely to appear, or participate in activities where the other party is likely to be present, and try to see each other without communication.
When you are not sure that you will be able to see it, try your luck and don't have high expectations. Even if I didn't see it in the end, I spent some time peacefully in the tossing. And small expectations and disappointments, small fluctuations in hormones, are also conducive to long-term adaptation and adjustment.
Fifth, if you blame yourself for your depression state, then you have to understand that there are a large number of people in this world who are suffering from the pain caused by longing at all times, and there are a lot of People are experiencing lack of energy, unwilling to work and study,So this is not your special situation, and it is not your fault.
You will not fall behind because of this, because everyone has a stage that is affected by this, so everyone's rhythm is actually leveled and matched.
Finally, it will be sooner or later that hormone levels return to normal. After all, the human body has a common physiological basis and working mechanism. At that time, if you want to keep this longing, maybe you won't be able to do it.
Psychological test: test what your ex most wanted to say to you
1. Do you quarrel about little things when you are together?
Yes, I often feel tired—2
seldom quarrel about trivial matters—2
occasionally, but you will soon think that 2. Are you a person who likes self-reflection and is willing to correct mistakes?
yes —3
no —4
3. Will TA actively tell you its troubles?
I often say —5
Don’t say anything —4
4. Will you tell your parents about your love process?
everything is fine,I often talk to my parents—6
, and occasionally they ask about it—5
hardly to say, nothing to say—5
5. Face what you want. How much energy are you willing to spend to acquire?
Everything is my end, it’s mine—7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed—6
, I must try my best—B _ppan2 6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No—7
7. Has the other party actively contacted you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C
The full version of the test questions and answers can be obtained privately. You can get a private consultation
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. Think a lot.If you have emotional confusion, you can privately write or comment and consult.
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