I believe that many girls are just like me. They are the kind of people who value the sense of ceremony, right?
There must be a big party on your birthday, and you must receive gifts on the holiday. If you meet again after a long time, you must give the other party a big hug.
However, watching " Daughters' Love " during this period of time, I suddenly discovered:
The sense of ritual that girls value most may actually kill your love sometimes.
This truth is best confirmed by Li Shaminzi and 's next door fan .
[01]
In the show, they traveled to Hainan together, but their original sweet itinerary became more and more out of control.
Li Shamin, who is romantic by nature, wants to give her lover a sense of ritual of sitting at ease. Although I didn't drive by, I still chose to travel by car.
Along the way, she kept panicking and making mistakes, but she had to pretend to be calm and said to Lao Fan:
"You sleep, I am responsible."
Lao Fan can't catch this romance at all, and sits in the co-driver. Uneasy.
The two met because of music, and Li Shaminzi specially chose a restaurant with a band performance at the door. However, Hainan was experiencing a high temperature of 36 degrees at the time, and Lao Fan, who was sweaty back in the shop, could no longer feel the romance prepared by his girlfriend. In the
show, this straight steel man even directly expressed his resistance:
"It's too hot, I don't want to eat it anymore."
But Li Shaminzi's sense of ritual is not over yet.
She invited Lao Fan to play the hand discs at the store's door. Lao Fan made it clear that she was not interested, but she ignored it, and the atmosphere on the scene was suffocating.
The girl’s long-awaited romance turned into nothing, and the boy was uncomfortable. It should have been a beautiful journey.Hastily ended in unhappiness.
Some people might say: People who love each other, what is wrong with pursuing a sense of ritual?
But as the observer Adu said:
Li Sha is too persistent. She sets in her mind what must be done in love, and fills in the blanks after finishing one.
The way the two get along, seems to be in two worlds.
Yes. Have you noticed: When idealism meets pragmatism, the excessively demanding sense of ritual becomes the burden of the other party.
[02]
What is the sense of ritual?
I remember saying in "The Little Prince":
The sense of ritual is to make a certain day different from other days, and make a certain moment different from other moments.
It is a beautiful filter added accidentally to life, but it will not stay in life every day.
I think of a variety show that I watched many years ago. The female guest seriously talked about how much she paid attention to the sense of ritual in love. She said:
"I will have a small book that will record the various anniversaries that I have with him. The first time I hold hands and go shopping, I think the weekend can also be commemorated... I am about a month There is half a month for the anniversary."
The host asked her, will the half month after the anniversary be different from usual?
The female guest replied like this: "I will ask my boyfriend to wear a more formal suit, and I will also wear a small dress. There must be red wine and beef at the dinner table."
To have a sense of ritual, you must tell me the moment I get up in the morning that I love you, and give me a loving hug and a sweet kiss at the door when I go out to work, and the same goes for coming home from get off work at night."
The audience has been in an uproar.
Another guest bluntly said:
"We must use formal things to ask ourselves and the other party,Will live very tired. "
[03]
I don’t know since when, various standards for proving love with a sense of ritual became popular on the Internet:
Liqiu wants to send the first cup of milk tea in autumn. If you don’t give it, I won’t love it. I; I’m going to have a candlelight dinner on Valentine’s Day on Chinese Valentine’s Day. If you don’t go, you don’t love me; you must send a red envelope of 5201314 for your birthday, don’t send it, you don’t love me...
But is there a fixed standard for love?
You only remember that he was too busy on Valentine's Day and didn't take you to a candlelight dinner. But you forgot the bowl of porridge he cooked for you when you were sick.
You only remember that he didn't follow the trend to give you milk tea, but forgot He will give you an umbrella on a rainy day;
He may not have issued a red envelope, but silently replaces the old toothbrush with a new one for you...
So you see, these are traces of love, no The vigorous sense of ritual is just a different form of expression.
When you are trapped in the ritual fill-in-the-blank question, perhaps you have let down the other person’s a lot of gentleness.
【04】
, I think of another clip in the show where Li Shaminzi and Lao Fan get along.
At sunset, they walked on the beach naturally, and their expressions were obviously more relaxed. The old Fan, who was not good at expressing during the day, suddenly said to her :
"I want to watch the sunset with you eleven times.
The picture at the time was so beautiful.
So did you find it?
When living in the fantasy of love, deliberately using a sense of ritual to prove love, it will push the other party far away.
is love When the rules and regulations are removed, the love will show its true feelings, without borders.
So, girls, life is not an idol drama. It doesn’t need so many open and close romantic bridges, and romance can grow on the ground. More at ease and down-to-earth companionship.
Even if life is plain,As long as you feel it with your heart, love will definitely exist.
