Get along with others, first get along with yourself
A certain man found a tumor on his body, so he looked for a doctor with anxious attention. A week later, when he heard the results of the benign tumor, he felt that this day was a happy day in his life.
In fact, this day was the same as the day when he suspected a tumor on his body. The physical health status has not changed, and his mentality has changed.
Mental obstacles are also distance.
In the TV series "The Bathing Girl", when his daughter entered the society, a father said to his daughter: To learn to get along with others, one is to treat others as himself; the other is to treat yourself as someone else; and the third is to treat yourself. Be yourself; the fourth is to treat others as others. Four seemingly simple sentences, I feel quite after hearing them.
Tuyuan Network
Treating others as yourself means that you must be sincere and loyal to others when you get along with others, as if you are oneself, real, real, without pretense. Show your sincerity, show your sincerity, and treat your friends. This kind of relationship is sincere, lasting, and can stand the test.
Treating yourself as someone else means empathy, consideration for others, and kindness to others in mutual understanding. To treat yourself as yourself means to respect yourself, love, and strengthen yourself without hypocrisy. Everyone's knowledge, ability, temperament, and position are objective, realistic and relatively stable in a certain social circle. Therefore, a correct view of oneself and evaluation of oneself often become a support point in interpersonal communication. You must not be biased, and treat yourself realistically.
Treating others as others means to respect the independence of others when getting along with others. Other people’s growth environment, living environment, education, contact with the world, encounters, etc. are different from yours. The tempers, personality, ways of thinking, and ways of doing things are also different from you. These differences are concentrated on human beings. Self and self-esteem, humanity and independence. Just don't think that others are you too.
Get along with people and not be too self
Have the measure to tolerate the things that cannot be changed; have the courage to change the things that may change; have the wisdom to distinguish the above two things. There is no sky bigger than a hand, no road longer than a foot, no mountain higher than a man, no sea wider than a heart.
We cannot change everything,But it can be done without being changed by everything. This is the personal heritage. And this background is hidden.
Getting along with people can't let people see you through.
Get along with people, you can't live without yourself. This is the sense of autonomy, independent personality, and the principle of self-behavior. Life without self is indifferent and despised by others. It's also a person with no promise.
Get along with people without being too selfish. Too much self leads to lack of compatibility, and incompatibility often leads to a dead end.
Picture source network
The young people today, the new generation born after the 1980s, are mostly only children, and they have caught up with the era of reform and opening up, without the hardships and experience of life, plus parents Most pets have a distinct personality, a strong self-awareness, and more attention should be paid to compatibility, self-humility and harm. Be more rational to get along with people.
Don't be too self-righteous, just don't be self-righteous, and you can't be stubborn. Don't impose your own ideas on others. Stubborn opinion is a chronic problem for some people. His way of thinking, life circles are relatively closed, and his vision is narrow.
Respect people when you get along with them. Being respected by others is affirmed by the society, and respecting people is the basic requirement of society for you to be a human being.
In social life, everyone is shown in front of everyone, each shaping their own social image on their own stage, showing stronger self-esteem and vanity than usual. The reason why socializing is tiring is because everyone tries to show qualities and talents that they don't actually possess. What is exhausting is not the thing to be done, but the mentality of worrying about gains and losses before and after. And the difference between people is very big. Some live in a tight life and just make a living; some have a wealth of money and show the rich side; some are a grassroots, without power and power; some are powerful and famous. Although people's social roles and social status are different, they all need to be respected, and the spiritual needs of maintaining face are the same. It is sad to be looked down upon. Therefore, you should be more cautious about getting along with people in social situations. A word of yours, a look in your eyes, a handshake, and a body language may touch the sensitive nerves of others. Many successful people understand this, and they tend to take extra care of others, especially those in the lower ranks.As a result, he won the hearts of the people and increased his personal relationship.
Tuyuan Network
Being a person is hard to find in public, but getting along with colleagues and friends in the circle of life is reflected in the subtleties and small things.
Praise and encourage others as much as possible. Praise is like the sunshine in life. Without it, the nutrients for growth will be lost.
Appreciate others as much as possible and focus on the highlights of others. Observe and discover the strengths of others. When you applaud others, you can give a good reason so that your praise will not be flattering. Not seeing the strengths and strengths of others is precisely one's own weaknesses and shortcomings.
Try to keep others' face as much as possible at any time, don't embarrass anyone, don't belittle others, let alone exaggerate the mistakes of others, and only speak his good words behind others. Try not to criticize people as much as possible. If you have to criticize, it is best to choose the time environment and method, and give kind reminders when appropriate. Never criticize others in writing.
Try to make others feel good about themselves occasionally. Don't brag, admit that you have shortcomings and deficiencies, and apologize in time when you make mistakes.
You should speak as little as possible, give others the opportunity to speak, don't interrupt others, and be willing to be a good listener. When others are in trouble, you will not be patient to listen to you. Make more suggestions instead of giving orders, which can promote cooperation and avoid conflicts.
To be good at listening, to let people finish speaking, and to understand their thoughts and intentions. And try to separate things from his standpoint, understanding means forgiveness. You have to show interest in others. When there is a conflict, you have to remain calm, try to find the agreement between the two sides, treat yourself in a self-critical way, promise the other party to consider his opinions, and give him inspiration Express thankfulness. When others are angry, you have to show your understanding, and you have to give enough sympathy and attention. Don't add fuel to the fire.
To be as humble as possible, low-key, unassuming, not loud, reasonable and not loud, with a sense of humor, keep smiling, and add a ray of sunshine to life and interpersonal communication.
Tuyuan Network
There must be tolerant quality in getting along with people
People cannot live in isolation,He needs society. Good interpersonal relationships can not only bring happiness to people, but also help people to succeed. And the quality of tolerance is the cornerstone of building good interpersonal relationships with others.
Recognize the strengths of people and tolerate the shortcomings of others. The ruler is short, the inch is long, gold is not pure gold, and no one is perfect. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. There is no perfect person in the world. Each person's independent personality difference, cognition level, level at which they are located, and different working styles determine the inevitable contradictions between people. To resolve these contradictions, one must possess the quality of tolerance. The prerequisite of tolerance is appreciation, and only those who can appreciate have the quality of tolerance. And the most essential need in human nature is the desire to be appreciated. Most people are willing to work and live with people who appreciate them from the bottom of their hearts, and are unwilling to get along with people who pick their noses and eyes all day long, and who are dissatisfied with it and who are not pleasing to the eye. Therefore, only a person with a heart of appreciation can be called a tolerant person. Only with the heart of appreciation can there be tolerance and the way of life. Tolerance is not only a moral character, but also a moral.
Use words to ridicule people and bring disasters to the fore. A moral person who speaks to others will never use words to ridicule others. He uses words to ridicule others, just as the "Forty-Two Chapters" says: If a person refuses to accept bad words, it is equivalent to giving gifts to others. , The other party refused to accept it, only to take it back. Talking wickedly is like "looking up to the sky and spitting, not spitting to the sky, and falling to the face"; ridiculing people is like "against the wind and dust, not to the other side, but also turning oneself." So, ridiculing the wicked mouth, this is Take the trouble. "
is a measure of tolerance for others and the essentials of gathering blessings. A person treats others with magnanimity, appreciates and recognizes the strengths of others, regardless of the smallness of others. This is a tolerant and kind person who will win the hope of others, and naturally will not offend others and lead to long-term disasters. . Life without misfortune is blessing. To measure tolerance is the key to gathering blessing. Normally we always want to get blessings, where do blessings come from? Just don’t care about people, or even be scolded, and don’t blame them at all. Don’t care, so blessings don’t recruit people.
It is not far to break people with power. Some people have high positions and are accustomed to using power to subdue people and beat others. Don’t think that this is victory, and recruit others. Not far away, once losing power, someone will retaliate and bring about unfortunate consequences. Those who use prostitution to suppress others are typical "mental idiots"; those who use material money to belittle others' so-called wealth are actually typical "spiritual beggars".
To moralize people,No matter who you get along with, morality is the foundation of the reputation. This will not only keep you away from mistakes, but you will have a long history of good reputation and good reputation.
Tuyuan Network
Tolerance is still a kind of wisdom. A respectable elder found a chair near the high wall of the temple, and he knew that someone would use it to cross the wall to the outside of the temple. The elder moved the chair away and waited here based on his feelings. The little monk who went out at midnight climbed up the wall and then jumped onto the chair. He felt that the chair was not as hard as before. After landing, the little monk took a look and realized that the chair had become an elder. The elder used his backbone to take over him. The little monk left in a hurry and waited for the elder's disapproval with fear. But the elder didn't mention this at all. The little monk got enlightenment from the tolerance of the elders. He took his heart and practiced hard. After a few years, he became the abbot of this temple.
Coincidentally, a teacher discovered when a student was drawing with his head down during class. He walked over and picked up the student’s painting and found that the character in the painting was himself grinning. The teacher did not get angry, but just smiled. It is necessary for students to process and draw more smoothly after class. From then on, the student never painted in class anymore, and learned well in all subjects, and later became an accomplished cartoonist. These two examples can be summarized to one point: the protagonist did something later, which has nothing to do with the tolerance of the elders and teachers at the time. It can be said that tolerance aroused their subconsciousness and corrected their rudder in life.
In fact, only those with broad-mindedness will naturally use tolerance; on the contrary, if the elders take away their chairs, it is not unreasonable for the young monks to "kill a hundred and a hundred". Achievement. In the same way, the teacher's pranks against students are usually furious, and it is often difficult to achieve "unusual" effects because the methods are too simple. In the final analysis, it is a management problem, which is to straighten out the corresponding relationship between people, so as to achieve harmony and unity between the manager and the managed. But if you don’t use forgiveness, you may wipe out your plasticity and creativity.
Picture Source Network
Maybe some people are very hateful, some are very mean, and when we imagined him, we found that he is even more pitiful than us. So please forgive and forgive all the people you have met, good people and even bad people.
The fish said to the water, you can't see my tears because I am in the water. Shui said, I can feel your tears because you are in my heart.
Get along with people, don’t fight with people
Lao Tzu once said: “The way of a saint is not to fight.” Telling us that “to” means to do things on the ground, calm and get along with others, which is beneficial to others and also to others. Oneself; "Struggle" is to defeat others, suppress others as a power, harm others but not self-interest. Narrow-minded and jealous, even if there is success, it will be limited. Those who are dedicated are bound to be indifferent to secular competition, think far and open-minded, and see loftily.
Get along with people, don't fight with people. This dispute is a dispute, a fight for top and bottom, a fight for fame and fortune, and a fight for high and low because of trivial matters. This fight is a fight with no results. In normal competition, the survival of the fittest should not be included here.
When getting along with others in social situations, there is an argument about chatting with one person and one thing. In such an argument, no one can win. There is neither a referee nor a result. If you lose, of course you lose; if you win, you still lose. Because this victory is nothing but the product of cheap, empty vanity, and it comes at the cost of arousing one's resentment. Offended a friend by accident. People always have memories. After conflicts and quarrels occur, no matter how they are handled properly, they will always cast a shadow in their hearts and emotions, which will bring obstacles and hidden dangers to the future. In social situations and in front of everyone, everyone pays more attention to their own image and shows strong self-esteem and vanity. Under the control of this kind of mentality, he will feel even stronger than usual because of your inability to get him off the stage.
Get along with people. Facing a strong one, the weak can only accept failure. Facing a group of strong, the weak have more room to deal with, and this space is hidden in human interaction. This interpersonal interaction requires not only technology, but also tactics and strategy. Natural people in society like ours don't need to deal with people with their minds. It may be more innocent to face honestly and naturally.
Tuyuan Network
Experience and experience tell us that getting along with people is sometimes inevitable. It is not impossible to express different views and opinions and discuss with them, but one thing to keep in mind is to refrain from being impulsive and angry. You are not angry when people are angry,It is inevitable to say something that hurts others without thinking, and the best way to deal with it at this time is to turn a deaf ear to it, instead of responding with the same angry mood and mentality. In this way, it can only hurt both sides. Get along with people, not only don't fight with people, but also talk less and laugh more. Nowadays, there is a popular saying: disasters come out of the mouth, illnesses come out of the mouth, health comes out of feet, and worries come out of mind. Gu Xun also said that "misfortune comes from the mouth", so if you talk too much, you will lose it. Talk less and treat people with a simple and honest attitude. The so-called "noble people are late, but gentlemen are awkward." This "late" is late in judging one person and one thing with composure, objective tolerance, and good listening. Especially when others are embarrassed, they can be unavoidable to preserve their face and to forgive others as a remedy opportunity.
Talk less, smile more, and try to get along with others in a harmonious and happy state. Smile is always the sunshine in life, it can make oneself coordinate with various environments and get along well with many kinds of people. And for those who are struggling with each other and things, you can smile and laugh at them.
Laughter is a state and a state of life.
To eat whole grains and enjoy the fireworks in the world, what you need is to look at the realm of life with a smile, tolerant and friendly, and the wisdom of being kind and pragmatic.
The reason for difficulty should be stopped, the person with difficulty should be generous,
the problem with difficulty should be slow, and the effort should be discarded if it is difficult to succeed.
Tuyuan Network
To get along with people, keep a proper distance
Stand a little apart with everyone and everything, keep a certain distance, so that everyone knows that you are Standing independently is not dependent on others.
Keep a certain distance from people, and you can see them more clearly and accurately while admiring them.
Distance produces beauty. The beauty of Mona Lisa can only be seen two or three meters away from the oil painting; Taishan , which is the top of the five mountains, can only be magnificent when seen from outside the mountain. This is how distance produces beauty. The people on the bridge are watching the scenery, and the people watching the scenery are watching you. This is the way to appreciate paintings and view scenery, so why not get along with people and keep a good distance?
keep your distance,It is easy to offense, but also good for defense. It is good for speeding up and also easier for buffering.
Getting along with people and keeping a proper distance is definitely an art. The distance must be moderate to maintain a delicate balance. If you refuse to stay thousands of miles away, you will lose friendship and trust. Alienate yourself from the crowd. The distance cannot become far away, otherwise the beauty will not exist. But if they are too close, they will part ways due to rejection.
Tuyuan Network
Make friends, respect each other, keep distance, and don’t cross each other’s restricted area. Everyone wants to have their own little world, which belongs to a private space. Friends who are too casual will easily invade this restricted area, causing estrangement and conflict. For example, do not ask if the other party is free, willing or not, arbitrarily dominate or occupy the precious time that the other party has arranged; some intervene in the other party's family affairs; speak regardless of the occasion and speak without proper proportions; some spend money without talking about you and me, using things Regardless of each other; some inquired about each other's secrets hidden deep in their hearts, and inquired about each other's privacy. All these are phenomena of disrespect for friends, breaking into the restricted area of others, infringing and interfering with others. Accidental phenomena can be understood and tolerated. If things go on like this, there will be gaps, leading to alienation or disgust.
In social networking, I often encounter people who are serious, difficult to approach, and have a strong sense of distance. But in most cases, the more difficult it is to get close to, the more trustworthy you are. People who look displeased, those who are cold-faced and serious, are personalities. Compared to people who can get hot by approaching rashly, there are more people who are difficult to get close to, and there are more people who are trustworthy.
should not be too far away from the leader. If you lose contact, you will lose trust. You can’t get too close, get too close to the leader, get too familiar with each other, know each other well, don’t have a sense of distance, and push yourself into a dangerous situation. Either it’s "the tree falls and the hunger is scattered" or you will be kicked by the leader. Kick away.
During the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Cao decided to send troops to crusade against Liu Bei , Sun Quan . There was a doctor named Kong Rong , who was very pedantic. He thought Liu Bei was a Han family clan.Sun Quanhu's squadron was named as Cao Cao, who was "a teacher of unrighteousness, fearing to lose the hope of the world." Therefore, Cao Cao was furious. Kong Rong looked up to the sky and sighed: "How can you be undefeated if you fight against the most benevolent and righteous?" Cao Cao killed his whole family as a result.
Tuyuan Network
It is said that someone has said to Kong Rong a long time ago: "You are just too straightforward. This is the root cause of your own misfortune."
Gao, but he didn't understand the master's intentions and determination, and he spoke ruthlessly, especially when he described Cao as "inhumane". How could this not annoy Cao Xinhuai, and he would have to kill him?
So when your subordinates get along with their superiors, don't be impulsive, but always remind yourself that even if you are right, you should pay attention to attitudes, methods, and timing issues, and don't rush into each other, causing the superior's anger and resentment against you.
Subordinates must remember that the leader pays great attention to authority and has the final decision-making power, and you are just a adviser or counselor.
Leaders, including management, are not standing on the stage to give orders, raise their faces, a superior image, and the affinity of managers are very important for strengthening team cohesion, which is also part of the humanization of management. However, if managers are submerged in the team, it is difficult for them to play the leading role of "climbing up". Managers must be the forerunners and fair decision-makers. These need to be reflected by distance. The proper distance gives the subordinates the impression of "amiable" and "dignified and wise" for managers.
.
