I am a stranger alone in a foreign land, and I miss my relatives every festive season.
This Mid-Autumn Festival, do you plan to go back to your natal or in-laws’ house, or do you not go anywhere and spend time with your wife (husband) and children?
Anyway, after getting married and having children, I don't want to go back to my hometown for the holidays. It's not because of conflicts between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or because I don't miss my parents, but because of these three things.
In the traditional sense of the Chinese people, the Mid-Autumn Festival is "reunion", which means that the family must get together in a reunion, eating round moon cakes, and admiring the round moon.
However, in recent years, especially after getting married and having children, I found that my relatives and friends around me are willing to go back to their hometown during the Mid-Autumn Festival and spend less and less time with their parents.
Just like me, before getting married, every Mid-Autumn Festival, I would rush back to my hometown unimpeded to accompany my parents to have a reunion dinner, but since getting married, especially after having children, every year is approaching Mid-Autumn Festival. And the husband began to tangled up, or not to return? Hesitate to make up his mind.
It is every child’s wish to go back to his hometown to have a reunion dinner with his elderly parents. However, after getting married and having children, going back to the hometown to have a reunion dinner is not as simple as imagined, especially in In this traditional festival that the older generation attaches great importance to, going back to have a reunion dinner is even more difficult.
1) Money and energy are "non-spending"
Since ancient times, our country has been a society of human relations, especially when you have a family and children, even if you are reluctant in your heart, during the New Year holidays, always It’s unavoidable to go to the seven aunts and eight aunts’ homes,Even if you are not familiar with your relatives and friends in your hometown, you should buy a gift and walk around in a motion.
Just like me, since I got married, my mother said: “I’m an adult when I get married. I don’t need to go back to my hometown. I have to read it again.”
And my parents’ family and my in-law’s family are not far apart. As long as I return to my hometown, the relatives on both sides have to take care of them. I’ll take care of the relatives on both sides. I need to see at least 18 families. Meaning, I can't get it without 200 yuan, and that's not counting my uncles, uncles, and other relatives. After this trip, my salary for a month is gone.
The most important thing is that a Mid-Autumn Festival holiday takes only 3 days to go back and forth. I usually work like a dog, so I expect to take a rest during the holiday. If I go back to my hometown during the holiday, I have to accompany me in addition to giving gifts. Smiling face, 18 relatives walked down, the whole was more tired than going to work, I was scared to think about it.
2) Unfamiliar relatives + different habits and customs
Many people think that young mothers do not want to go back to their in-laws for the New Year holidays because they are at odds with their mother-in-law, but they really are not!
Just like me, since I got married, although I can’t say how good the relationship with my mother-in-law is, it is not contradictory. Especially after having a daughter, the in-laws treat their daughters very well. I still really want to take my daughter back to see her grandparents often.
However, this does not mean that I want to go back during the New Year holidays. Just like me, I haven’t lived with my in-laws since I got married. My husband and I have been married for seven or eight years. My husband’s relatives, Some people still don’t know what they are called.
If you meet these people during the holidays, just a simple name can make people embarrassed... plus different ideas, customs, living habits, dietary tastes, etc. , it’s really not easy to spend a festival together comfortably and without contradictions.
Before getting married, it’s different at the natal holidays. What do you want to do? Family and friends at home are familiar people, saying wrong things, doing wrong things, no one will not Really angry with oneself, comfort is obviously not on the same level.
3) Family love that cannot be given up
Before we got married and had children, I always felt that going home for the holidays was a restriction of the festival, and since becoming a mom, I gradually understand how deeply my parents miss their children. I can't usually see my children, and I don't want to, but in my heart I hope that the children can have a meal with themselves during the holidays.
For example, my friend Xiaofan and his wife, her family is in the northeast, her husband's family is in Hunan, and she lives in Shandong. She and her husband are both only children. During the Chinese New Year holidays, , whose home will you go back to? It will inevitably become a matter of constant arguing between their husbands and wives.
No matter which party you go to celebrate the festival, facing the cold and warm greetings of in-laws or in-laws’ parents, you can always think of the lonely parents and husband and wife who are alone in the festival. The final result is probably_ span14span I don't go to anyone's house. I have a family of three. It's not bad to spend more time in my hometown to see my parents.
The native family is the environment in which we live and grow up,Before marriage, the original family is where we live; when we get married, especially when we have children, we formally form our own new family. At this time, in order to realize our personal lives and concentrate on running the new family, we will inevitably make some cut-offs. The unwillingness to go home for the holidays is a peculiar manifestation.
How do you plan to spend this Mid-Autumn Festival? Are you taking your children home to accompany the elderly? Or to travel with family and children, or to spend it in place?
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