wants to develop "ordinary friends of the opposite sex" into a "couple relationship". This requires two people to have a good opinion of each other , and it is the kind of attraction between men and women.
However, the actual situation is that you have not established a relationship, and you really want to fall in love with each other. Because of this, you become listless and indecisive all day long. In fact, you don’t have to worry at all, it’s just that your way of getting along is inappropriate. The troubles and worries are understandable. After all, everyone's emotional road is not smooth.
Let me share a few points below, hoping to help you in front of the screen:
(1) Common mistakes
I believe you must have heard of it countless times or seen it with your own eyes, a boy If you muster up the courage and want to express love with the person you have a crush on, the responses you get are often: "You are a good person, you can find someone better than me", "I don't want to fall in love now", "I just put you Be a good friend" , even more heartbroken: "I have no feeling for you..."
Do you think the other person is telling the truth? In fact, the girl's implication is: I don't like you, don't bother me anymore!
People who are splashed with cold water are very cold, but people often make changes only after learning from the pain. The first thing to be clear is what caused such a bad result.
actually answered your reason like this: is- You did not meet the subconscious needs of the other party , also called " latent demand ".How do you say it? For example:
You are hungry and want to eat. If you want to find a girl who worships money, you will spend money. In the same way, if you want to find a less material and serious one, you have to meet the other party's needs. To tell you clearly, most of the needs of this girl are true love !
But the reality is that too many people have not experienced the true "love" of since they were young. They have not experienced it, and they do not know how to love others. Then it will definitely result in a wrong way of pursuing, this wrong way, it is impossible for others to be your lover willingly.
You go to expensive restaurants to invite dinner, give gifts, and offer all kinds of courtesy. Isn't that the right thing to do? In fact, there is nothing wrong with this, but many people do not understand its inner principle, and often treat sweet love as a cold transaction.
For example: give gifts-meet the other party's needs-in turn let her meet your needs (be your lover). In many cases, once you expose your needs, it will make people feel that you are not really good to others, but purposeful. This so-called good will often turn into a weasel to give New Year greetings to the chicken.
Love is a very beautiful and romantic thing, and it must not be regarded as a transaction.
So what should we do?
(2) Step by step
The relationship between boys and girls can be divided into these steps:
Strange-friend-ambiguous-close-establish the relationship, then turn ordinary friends into Lovers are to jump from the friend stage to the ambiguous stage, and then to the intimate stage.
The progressive relationship of intimacy is like this. It is a strange stage at the beginning. After getting acquainted with it, you will become ordinary friends. Then you will say some ambiguous words, physical contact, and then step into intimacy, and finally become a couple...
That's why many people have known the opposite sex for months, or even years, unable to establish a romantic relationship.The reason for is that he only did what should be done in the steps at this stage, and kept spinning around in place, and he didn't dare to try to jump out of the things or words at this stage. This leads you to stay in the "good friend" stage and only say what your friends should say.
For example: "How is your work recently?", "It's a good day today!", "There is a traffic jam on the road today" These are not painful and plain words.
So you will find a phenomenon, you have known the opposite sex for a long time, you have been pursuing it for several months, and even years have not seen any progress; and there are boys who have known her for less than a week and quickly establish a romantic relationship. There are two main reasons for this:
One is the truth of the love curve. When the two have just met, their freshness and favorability gradually increase. With the time of communication, the favorability of the two reaches the maximum. Then it slowly decreases. After a certain period of time, the degree of goodwill begins to decrease in a straight line. At this time, it basically can’t catch up...;
Also knows the progressive relationship. People who have just met are often very attractive, and The sense of curiosity is also very strong. If the emotional intelligence is higher and know how to try to break through, it will be easy to reach a relationship quickly.
So, it is very important to try to jump step, let's talk about how to use it.
(3) Application method
We all know that dripping through rocks is not a day's work, and no one can reach the sky in one step. The completion of any big goal is accumulated over time.
For example: your goal is to enter a prestigious university, but your level of study is only a low-level student in the class. At this time, I am not telling myself a joke, nor is it saying that I cannot achieve my goal. Instead, you should first think about whether you can work hard to reach the middle of the class, and then go up to the top, first, and top students step by step until you achieve the results you want!
This is to decompose the goal into small goals, so as to better achieve it, and get more positive feedback on the way. However, applying the principle of (2) step by step is the same.Familiarity → Build trust → Create romance → Increase relationship → Establish a relationship between male and female lovers.
should make progress in every chat and appointment. Make a little progress each time. While doing this well, try to do the next step. As long as you have the courage to make reasonable physical contact, say some appropriate ambiguous words, and create surprises , there will be good results.
(4) The steps of chatting
topic + you and me + action = chat formula
"The weather is good today" belongs to the topic, "It is very suitable for you and me" belongs to you and me, "Go together "Shopping" is an action. Only in this way will the two of you communicate and get closer together. Only if the content of the chat is about the two of you will there be an intersection, and if there is an intersection, will there be follow-up content
But please note: This is just a big frame, and how to chat depends on the actual situation. should be based on the actual degree of your relationship. If you have any questions about how to chat, you can chat with me alone!
(5) Inspire!
If you are a man who is currently single and have a girl you like, then you still have to take the initiative to attract and turn ordinary friends into girlfriends. You must also want sweet love!
Don't want to be a normal friend, you definitely don't want to accompany her to find a boyfriend, and then watch her hold hands with other men to do what a couple should do. Therefore, long-term pain is not as good as short-term pain. Either turn ordinary friends into your own girlfriends; or don't wait for someone who doesn't have to wait. If you like her in your heart, believe me, just being an ordinary friend must be suffering.
Turn the person you like into a partner, you must also want to travel together, sit on the cable car overlooking the sky; also want to go swimming together,Dive into the water to appreciate the world of water; cook together and experience the sweetness between lovers.
Say a thousand things, as a man, he still has to be brave enough to practice in order to integrate the theory into his own bones. It doesn't matter what you think, what is important is to do it.
I wish you no more bumps on the road of love and harvest your own sweetness!
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