Encouraging children with "come on" is a trap. How to say something affirmative to children?
How can we encourage children?
How to make a child’s life better
There is a word that parents and teachers often say to their children, that is, "Come on." When the child is motivated and ready to work hard, these words can provide encouragement. However, depending on the child's situation, even the same child sometimes feels that your "cheering" is like telling them that they need to work harder or that their efforts are not enough. For example, when they are tired and want to rest, when they are depressed and lack confidence, or when they have tried their best.
understand the risks of "come on".
Therefore, before saying "come on", you must first understand the child's current mental state. Sometimes, what you say kindly will often hurt your child. Especially for children who are very sensitive, work too hard, are in adolescence or rebellious period, so parents must pay attention when saying "come on".
It can be seen that the word "come on" has certain risks. Therefore, I would like to recommend a sentence: "You have done your best." In fact, many children work very hard. There are few lazy children. Moreover, you should work hard as you read this report. As parents, as professionals, as people in society, everyone is working hard. There is absolutely no laziness.
But at this time, if someone asks you to work harder, you might want to say: "I have done enough." On the other hand, if someone says "you work hard", you will feel very happy because you will feel that they are paying attention to you. This may give you more motivation to work hard.
You may also think: "This person knows himself well", and the trust in the other person may also be greatly increased.It's exactly the same with children. So I hope that parents can often say to their children "You have worked hard".
The sentence "You worked very hard" is an affirmation of the status quo of the person involved. In other words, it means: "You are fine like this, it doesn't matter". Maybe some people may think: "If I am sure of his current situation, will he stop working hard?" However, this is not the case. When people are affirmed by others about their status quo, they can affirm who they are now. In this way, there will naturally be energy for life.
Originally, human beings have the motivation and energy to "want to grow further" and "want to be better". However, due to various obstacles, energy becomes difficult to flow. The obstacle is the self-denial mood of "I can't do it" and "I don't have the ability". The message "You are the real you" contained in the sentence "You work hard" can eliminate such obstacles.
Here are some specific examples of affirming children.
If your child is unwilling to do homework, just say: "You worked hard" instead of saying: "You need to concentrate more." If you want to help several children get along, instead of saying: "You have to get along well", it is better to say: "You get along well". Similarly, if the child pours water by himself, don't keep saying "Don't spill it", but say "Good job, great."
When you see a child's painting, don't say "You need to be more careful", but say "You paint really well".
Then, not only children, but also often say to themselves "I have worked hard". For example, when you go to bed at night, tell yourself: "It's not bad today, and I worked hard in my own way." If you do this, you will feel the mood to work hard tomorrow.
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