Text/Get drunk
1. Parents who do not talk well are doing evil to their children
I am waiting at the school gate for my daughter to leave school.
The weather was very cold. Before the electric car stopped, a mother began to swear harshly:
"Who will you show to the waves with your clothes open on such a cold day?"
"Frozen to death, forget it."
occasionally returned Mixed with a swear word or two cursing the ancestor. The
girl was eleven or twelve years old. She ran over happily when her mother came to pick her up. When
heard her mother's words, the girl's bright eyes looked like an extinguished flame, and it dimmed instantly. Mother
nagging, she went to help the girl zip the coat. The
girl never said a word from beginning to end.
In the cold wind, they gradually drove away, but the mother's voice remained in the wind for a long time.
Some people say that destroying a child starts from not speaking well.
belittles him, hits him, and denies him, these words will be like nails, nailed into his life with the power of penetrating the years, and they cannot be shaken off for the rest of their lives.
Talking well is the most basic kindness of parents to their children.
Parents who can't speak well, take love as a cloak, wrapped in vicious words, turned into invisible swords, pierced into the open heart of their children, and complacent, "I am for your good."
In September this year, a 14-year-old boy in Wuhan was called his parent because he played cards with his classmates in the classroom. After the mother came, she didn't communicate with the child. She slapped the boy while scolding in the corridor. After his mother left, he jumped down from the fifth floor.
A 17-year-old boy in Shanghai had a conflict with his classmates. His mother kept scolding the child while driving him home. When he passed the Lupu Bridge, his mother stopped the car, opened the rear door, and continued to scold the boy. Jumped down on the viaduct without any hesitation.
...
Dr. Jane Nielsen said: Where did we get such an absurd idea, and determined that if we want to make a child better, we should first make him feel worse.
Chinese parents believe in one sentence: deep love, utmost responsibility.
"My original intention is good."
"I am all for your good."
"If you don't hit you, you will float."
parents firmly believe that only after the tempering and baptism of these languages can children become talented.
No child can feel your love from your vicious words.
Children who have been devalued, denied, or beaten by their parents for a long time are either inferior and timid, submissive, self-doubt, loss of confidence, or selfish and extreme, full of hostility.
Parents have never lacked love for their children, what they lack is the attitude of speaking well.
The more you talk to the people you are close to, the better you have to talk.
2. Speaking well is a kind of gentle kindness
There is a term in educational psychology called the "Unge Marie effect".
Ungemary is a not very beautiful little girl, but her parents and family members always encourage her and praise her: "You are beautiful."
Ungemary has confidence and feels like he is in the mirror every day. very beautiful.
Gradually, Ungermarie is not only more and more confident, but also more and more beautiful.
Positive language, like sunshine and rain, nourishes the seeds of life, germinates, blooms, and bears fruit.
In "Mom is Superman 3", ah, accidentally got stuck in the foot by a nail, broke down and cried, Huo Siyan's handling method can be called a textbook.
saw his son crying, Huo Siyan 's first reaction was not to blame huh.
"Why are you so careless?"
"Such a big nail, can't you see it?"
"You are so stupid."
first agreed with the feeling of sore feet.
"Too sharp, it will definitely hurt if you step on it!"
then gently blew the wound, comforted him, and embraced him.
finally comforted her: "It's okay, I'll be fine in a few days."
Huo Siyan used gentle and empathetic language to resolve her wounds like a gentle rain.mood.
Lai Peixia, a psychological counselor from Taiwan, pointed out in her speech that our accusations against children are not based on love, but poor emotional management.
parents who really know how to love their children, are good at using the language of love to tolerate their children, instead of using a vicious mouth to imprison their children's life.
If you love children, just speak well, don’t accuse, question, criticize, affirm, encourage, and praise.
3. In the language of parents, the road to the future of the child is paved.
Douban has a topic called: those "not good talk" moments in family life. Z2z
collected many complaints from netizens.
"You don't want to be a civil servant or a teacher. Do you want to go sweeping the streets?"
"You can wrestle on foot, what else can you do?"
"Do you know that you committed suicide by taking medicine at that time, which made me more embarrassed? No face."
"I read the book into the belly of the dog."
"I don't know how to eat such simple things. I know how to eat all the time."
And the most shocking thing is that the parents' accusations and blows , Ridicule, like a huge black hole, swallowing children's good expectations for future life.
"Derogation and denial have almost accompanied my entire life up to now. This is basically the source of my fear of starting a family."
"More or less fear and powerlessness about starting a family and raising children. I can’t take responsibility for it, and I’m afraid that just like my parents, feelings of disgust, contempt, and contempt will gradually grow and enter one cycle after another. "Z2z
" In the future, in the family, I don’t want to be a mother, and I don’t want to find a spouse. People like Dad." Someone at
said that the parents are the originals and the children are the photocopies.
When some people become adults, while fighting the influence of the original, they inevitably live in what they hate most. A girl on
Weibo talked about the daily communication with the boy she had been with.
"I'm eating."
"Are you waiting for you to feed me?"
Then she went to the boy's house and heard the boy and his mother talk:
He asked his mother: "Where is the clip?"
His mother said: "The clip is there Why don't you know?"
: "Are you on the balcony?"
His mother: "Where else can it be?"
said: "I don't know if you let me use a clothes clip or a food clip."
His mother: "Oh, do you still know the food tongs?" After listening to this conversation of
, did you feel suffocated.
can answer in affirmative language, but what comes out of my mother's mouth is a rhetorical question full of offensiveness.
living with such a person, the mood every day can be imagined.
From his mother, what the boy learns is violent communication. He can only express his feelings in inappropriate ways, and he does not know how to experience the feelings of others.
The accumulated communication mode between parents and children will imprint the children's speaking habits deeply.
Children in adulthood are often affected by work and interpersonal relationships, even marriage and love, because they cannot speak well.
Parents’ mouths hide their children’s future.
Parents who speak well can help the child build a beautiful link between him and the world and make the child a happy life.
Liang Qichao, a modern Chinese educator, is such a father.
He is not as dignified as most fathers, but affectionately named the children almost nauseous. The eldest daughter of
, Sishun, is called "Big Baby".
Sizhuang is called "Zhuangzhuang".
called the younger son Siri "BABY".
or collectively referred to as "children".
When the child encounters setbacks and difficulties, encourage the child in a timely manner and use the power of language to cheer for the child.
The second daughter, Sizhuang, failed the exam and was very frustrated.
Liang Qichao didn't accuse his daughter, but comforted her, "You don't have to worry, just work hard."
He has never been stingy in praising children, and he has never been ashamed to express love to children.
"Zhuangzhuang is already a big child, much more beautiful than before."
"I wandered in the yard at night, I miss you to Yue, and sing here, have you heard? "Z2z
" You are my first baby, and your health is closely related to my happiness. "Z2z
Liang Qichao used the positive language of encouragement, trust and respect to smear the children's life with a warm background, and achieved the educational myth of "one academician and three academicians, all talents in every court".
speaks well, is a kind of The power of gentleness can change a child’s life.
From today onwards, don’t say anything that hurts, say more heart-warming words, encourage more, less condemn, more praise, less ridicule. Z2z
speak well, the child will From the parents’ words, he perceives praise, support and encouragement. He doesn’t have to worry about screwing things up and being scolded. Z2z
speaks well and can give the child the confidence to break into the world. He will not be afraid of fear and self-doubt. Z2z
speak well, the child can Learn the beautiful love, build self-confidence, and move forward courageously. Z2z
Speaking well is the magic wand that opens a happy life for children. Z2z
Speaking well is a kind of parenthood and a compulsory course in our life.
