Many parents and friends have reported to me a problem: the child doesn’t like talking to me very much, and even if he wants to chat with the child, the child will be impatient.
Many parents say that they hope to get along well with their children and hope that their children can communicate with themselves if they have anything. Although it is usually very long-winded, it is good to the children.
Many parents want to add to their children, believing that the more children do, the more they gain.
But I hope parents and friends can understand that children live in the present, and they need to talk about the current emotions, rather than preparing for some time in the future.
What children need is 3 points:
1. Seen: Children sometimes hope that their value is seen. For example, children are very good at drawing and spend some time every day to draw and give you the good drawings. However, some parents' reaction is that what is the use of drawing? It's better to read more books and ask their children, have they finished their homework? Have you reviewed the book?
Many parents deny their children what they think is useless and ignore their children's feelings.
2.Value: Many parents often educate their children as people who have experienced it. If you don’t do it, you are wrong, you have to follow me...
Now the conflict between children and parents is already very obvious. You don’t give what the children want at all, and parents themselves are also very tired.
3. I am very important: respect the choices of children. Some parents will say that their children just like to work against me, not sweeping the floor properly, and not doing their homework properly!
Why do parents feel this way? This is because parents sometimes subconsciously put adult thinking on their children. They are so tired from work and have to cook when they come back. The children can't even do this well, which denies their children's abilities.
The child’s thinking is jumping and needs to be recognized and rewarded. The child has no consciousness to anger you deliberately. He is just being himself. In fact, you can discuss with your child what to do, and you will also improve and he will also grow.
When you are at home, no longer control it is love and understanding, and everyone strives to be themselves. What a child does is to create conditions to accept his present and future.
