Home has multiple children, how should parents raise them?
According to some studies, the eldest son in the family is generally more obedient and more mature; the children in the middle are gentler and loyal, and are the "peacemakers" in the family; the youngest child is more rebellious, feels smarter, and has a more lively personality.
It can also be seen in daily life that many families with several children are indeed the case.
Are these differences shown by the child born?
is not. In fact, it is the expectation of parents that affects the growth of children.
Average families have high requirements for their eldest son. Parents hope that their eldest son can not only manage themselves well, but also take care of their younger brothers and sisters. In order to gain the attention and recognition of the parents, the eldest son will do it according to the parents' requirements.
And parents tend to ignore children in the middle. This makes the child less ostentatious.
The youngest child is the most favored and it is not surprising that he will be rebellious.
Of course, this is all the general situation. There will be many exceptions.
After parents know these "rules", they should avoid this tendency in their children's education.
In daily life, we should try our best not to have different requirements for them because of their different birth order and gender. For example, "high standards" should not only be used for the eldest son, but also for all children.
Also, every child wants to get all the love of his parents. So I often hear children: Dad/Mom, which one do you like the most?
, parents should not give their children a clear answer, even if there is only one child present at that time.
A niece once told me a story like this:
Her youngest son asked softly in my niece's ear while her sister was away, "Mom, who do you think of sister or me?" The niece was soft-hearted and said to her son, "Mom likes you the most, don't tell her sister." The son was so happy that he kissed her on the face several times.
The next day, the two siblings quarreled. In order to beat my sister, the younger brother said to her sister, "Mom said she likes me the most, but she doesn't like you." As a result, the older sister cried so hard that she couldn't even breathe. I feel so regretful when I am a mother.
So, when children ask this question, parents should use an analogy to tell their children that each of them is important and parents like it. For example: You are like your mother’s fingers. Which one do you think your mother can cut off?
Of course, children may also be dissatisfied with this statement. In their little hearts, they want the answer "Mom likes you the most". But parents must not "offend" that child because of this child.
On some special days, parents should also take care of the feelings of each child. For example, on a child’s birthday, we should not give all our love to the child who celebrates his birthday on this day. We can also give some gifts to the child who is on his birthday so that he will not feel lost. Next time, when that child celebrates his birthday, he will also give gifts to this child who is not on his birthday. This way children may be more acceptable.
In these aspects, parents should treat everyone equally. But in some aspects of education, parents should treat it differently.
Every child is a unique individual. Parents should respect the differences between their children and cultivate them according to their different talents to help children succeed in what they are good at. For example, some children like to sing and some like to draw. Parents should cultivate them according to their hobbies. Instead of letting the kids do what their parents want them to do.
