Editor-in-chief: Qingqing
Written by: Teacher Ye’s main creative team
When children complete a task well and achieve gratifying achievements, parents need to praise them in time. Compared with the traditional educational methods that are stingy with praise, many parents have now realized the necessity and importance of praising their children: the recognition of children will help cultivate personal self-confidence and self-efficacy . However, compliments require mastery. Inappropriate praise and praise not only fail to play the expected positive role, but will even hinder the future development of children
. Improper praise methods
A study on early praise of preschool children shows that parents praises their children's personal traits (such as: you are so smart) cannot enhance children's self-motivation development and academic achievement
On the contrary, early praise of process (children's efforts, strategies, etc.) can predict the improvement of academic performance in the next few years by affecting their inner motivation and sense of belief (Gunderson et al., 2018)
Among them, "influence of belief" refers to establishing the concept of "intellectual ability is developmental and changeable" . It is worth noting that children who believe that intelligence is malleable tend to attribute their achievements to hard work rather than talent, thereby increasing the motivation for "work"
and treating factors such as intelligence as natural factors. Children who believe that their immutable may escape some events and opportunities to avoid exposing their shortcomings and reduce the motivation for "work" (Gunderson et al., 2018)
Indeed, it is important to affirm children's talent, which can make children feel confident in their initial abilities. However, too much praise for your child's intelligence and indefinitely affirming the efforts made by him will affect the cultivation of his intrinsic motivation and will not be conducive to his future courage to challenge unknown areas
In advance before the child takes action 0 Sometimes, parents who are eager to give emotional support to their children may praise their children blindly. For example, when children are confused about when they start working hard and are upset because of this, parents "praise" them: You are already great.
. In advance praise such as encouragement and comfort can indeed relieve children's anxiety to a certain extent. However, the use of early praise will hinder the child's self-motivation cultivation (Dweck & Yeager, 2019)
Similarly, excessive exaggerated and frequent praise of children to children are not conducive to the child's self-motivation and internal motivation (Brophy, 1981). Children will go through the stage of seeking parental identification, and they respond based on their parents' feedback on their behavior results html
They will find that they can get recognition from their parents without doing anything. The importance of "working" is also eliminated.
. Correct way of praise
Growth concept model believes that people's abilities are not fixed and will develop over time. Personal efforts and beliefs plays an important role in the development of abilities. It seems that the innate intelligence is not fixed, and it cannot be sure of future personal development
In this mode, efforts are a positive thing that helps improve abilities , not a negative thing that indicates insufficient abilities. People with this philosophy will be more inclined to develop their abilities and achieve success by working hard to practice unknown and challenging things. They are more likely to choose to challenge instead of evading
. In contrast, the fixed concept model believes that people's abilities are fixed . "verification" rather than "improvement" has become the starting point of action, and "effort" is easier to be associated with "low ability". Therefore, people with this conceptual model are more likely to to escape unknown opportunities in (Dweck & Yeager, 2019).Therefore, it is important to cultivate children to establish a growth-oriented concept model.
Research shows that efforts and strategies for can help them understand the importance of hard work and the developmental ability of abilities than for cerebral (Gunderson et al., 2018)
When things can be attributed to their own efforts by , children will face difficulties more positively and challenge difficulties, and they will feel their control over external things more. Parents’ affirmation and praise of their children’s efforts can give their children feedback, so that they can achieve many things through hard work, helping their children develop growth-oriented concepts and models
Parents should not deny their current achievements because of their children’s past mistakes, nor should they blindly praise their current behavior because of their children’s past achievements
“Just the facts”, and praise when it is time to praise. When children make mistakes, objectively describes their problems, but be careful not to expand the content of criticism to the child's ability and talent
"You are so stupid" and "You are really useless" will reduce children's and damage their self-confidence. In this way, the child can be clear about what he should do and what he needs to avoid
"You are so awesome!" "Our baby is so awesome!"... Such praise can exist, but it may be difficult to achieve the effect parents expect to achieve - to cultivate a certain habit or quality of the child
After all, the child may not quite understand where he is "good". Therefore, letting children know more clearly why they are praised for , and making praise more targeted will be a good way
For example, when a child just learned a new song and was able to play roughly, parents can praise them: "You can play most of the songs today, which is a little better than yesterday!" Or, parents can praise their children's higher accuracy of homework, etc.
praise specific performance , parents need to pay more attention to their children's daily progress and discover their children's strengths and efforts more carefully
Parents can achieve the goal of motivating their children by showing their expectations and confidence in them, that is, use " Rosenthal effect ": Have expectations for children, keep confidence in them, and use praise and praise in daily life to convey implicit expectations to children, so that reality is close to expectations
This does not mean conveying a clear goal to children (such as: as long as you work hard, you can get into the top x name in the grade) - this will make the child feel stressed. Parents encourage and praise, showing their belief that their children can overcome difficulties and thrive, and can enhance their children's sense of self-efficacy. Children will also receive hints of trust and support, cultivate a high sense of self-worth, and thus work hard for better development
summary
11. Improper way of praise
- Over-focus on praise for children's talent traits
- Before children take action, praise
- Over-examination and frequent praise
2. Correct way of praise
- positively affirms the efforts made by children rather than talent
- "just what is right" praise
- " "Playing praise
- shows expectations and confidence for children
# Talk about family education# # Parents' questions and answers# @Toutiao Education @Toutiao Parenting
Original protection, plagiarism will be prosecuted
Like Welcome Like + Follow
Follow After Si Xin I
Give you a Tsinghua High School and other famous Beijing middle schools
Original family education courses used internally
