text/Haoyujie
Yesterday, I accidentally found that the new drama of Yao Chen is being broadcast. I guess it's not very popular. This drama wants to get the traffic of the former hit " is good" .
But after all, it has been so long, so the effect is probably very little. However, I remember a study by Professor of Sociology at Fudan "Daughters are more filial than sons, but parents still prefer their sons."
To be honest, I used to think so too. Because in real life, there is indeed such a phenomenon: when the daughter is careful and considerate, buying things for her parents every now and then. As a result, the parents gave all the property to their son, and only when they were sick and retired would they remember their daughter.
However, later I found that some parents will not go even if their daughters are close to their marriage. No matter what I say, I have to live with my son.
As for the reason, it is actually easy to understand. Due to the concept of raising children to prevent old age, they feel that their son’s home is their own home, and they can live here freely.
In their opinion, it is more enjoyable and more at ease with their son. But at my daughter's house, she is living under someone else's roof and has no sense of belonging.
Especially when the daughter is in the following two situations, the parents may not have thought about going over and counting on it.
Daughter has no status in her in-laws’ home
If the daughter has no status and right to speak in her in-laws’ home, even if the financial conditions are not good, it is not easy to bring parents to their homes for retirement.
They not only have to work hard, respect their parents-in-law, and be good wives, but also to please and compromise in all kinds of ways. But my in-laws think that as a wife, all your efforts are worthy. But if your parents come to the house to support their elderly care, that's not the case.
At that time, not only will it give the woman's parents a look at each other, but it may not even have basic respect. And even though he doesn't say it, his impatient attitude really makes people feel uncomfortable. Especially the superior momentum will make the woman's parents feel that they are begging for food.
Alas, don’t talk about living a comfortable old age, you may be living a humble life all day long. I dare not speak, and even if I feel uncomfortable, I dare not speak.
So, if you know that your daughter is in the in-laws' house, you have to look at other people's faces, and you will not expect to be a parent at all. One is that I don’t want to be cowardly, and the other is that I don’t want to make my daughter embarrassed.
The daughter's financial conditions are poor
I once read a news story that an old couple, because their three children ignored them, sued their children in anger. Request for payment of alimony and medical expenses. During the trial of
, a daughter said that her father had a retirement salary, and she had always been a housewife, had no financial income, lived entirely on her husband, and was unable to support her parents.
Finally, the court held that the income earned by her husband belonged to the common property of the couple and she also enjoyed equal right to dispose of the people. Therefore, the alimony given to parents can be paid from the husband's salary.
To be honest, this old couple may not have to ask for money. It is because of the unfilial piety of the children, which makes the hearts penetrate. If the children often go to see them, even if they don’t pay the money, the old couple will not have too many complaints, and they will not go to the point of litigation.
After all, for most parents, they also hope that their children can live a good life.
Especially in their old age, even if their daughter is caring and filial, if their daughter lives a difficult life, they are unwilling to cause trouble for their daughter.
Because, in their hearts, they don’t expect such a daughter to support themselves in their old age. Their wish is very simple, as long as their daughter can take care of herself.
Senior nanny, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comics articles,
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