"Cartoon Beard": Children with incomplete personality lack a lion that leads their growth in childhood
Introduction:
Nowadays, Chinese children are generally overly favored by their parents: when children are 1-2 years old, they are turning around in the palm of their parents or the elderly, afraid that their children will bump into each other, afraid that they will be unsafe and unclean, and always care about their elders as much as possible. Even if the children are a little older, they are worried about all kinds of things. They are really bringing their children into flowers in the greenhouse.
When the child gets older, the things that the child should have done by himself are also taken care of by the elders: he can't make up the bed, wash his underwear, don't clean the desk, don't tidy up his schoolbag, and even eat eggs, his parents peeled the shell and ate it directly.
As children age, their learning tasks are also heavier. At this time, parents will not let their children do any housework, for fear of delaying their children's studies. I often hear parents say to their children: As long as you study hard, you don’t have to worry about other things. So, the child grows up little by little under this educational philosophy.
However, after the children grew up, they found that their ability to adapt to society, adaptability, and survival ability were so worrying. After hitting walls again and again, they chose to lie flat and lew over their parents, so that they completely closed themselves.
Faced with this situation, Li Yueer's "Cartoon Beard: Personality Influences Life" reveals to us the personality that affects children's life, which has actually been formed as early as the child's early childhood.
"Cartoon Beard: Personality affects life"
1. It is not his fault for a child to be weird and weird
Many times, when facing children with abnormal behavior, people always think that the child has a bad personality and is born. In fact, it is not the case. The good or bad personality of a child is often inseparable from the environment in which the child grows up.
"Cartoon Beard: Personality Influences Life" is a fascinating and engaging book with interesting and educational and inspiring content. In the book, Li Yueer uses her husband's beard as a growth case, and the time spans more than 40 years. The plot originates from every detail of the couple's life, with warm and humorous words, and very picture-like. The author discovers the secrets of a man's childhood from the weird growth history, and then reveals the indispensable nature of personality construction.
American psychologist Stenberg said, "Successful intelligence includes analysis, creativity and practicality. The key lies in the number but in the balance."
"Cartoon Beard"
Li Yueer's husband Beard was born in a family with cultural heritage and has two sisters. He is the only boy in the family. Because he lives in an era of material scarcity and is in a remote mountain village, Hu Zi grew up under careful care. When he was a child, he had a cold and fever, it was a big deal. The whole family would surround him and he would have to have an infusion every time to get better.
Later, even though Hu Zi walked out of the mountains and stepped into an art school, his behavior was weird and out of place with the surrounding environment: on campus, he had a "black bowl" (cool head shape) on his head, wearing a black cotton jacket that had not been washed for a long time, half-kneeled on the ground and put the big bowl on his knees to eat noodles, walking on the campus as if no one was around.
When passing through an obstacle, the beard always cannot confirm the distance between himself and the surrounding objects, so when he walks through the classroom, his body will constantly collide with the surrounding tables and chairs;
What makes people even more laughable is that when the beard hugged the bride and was about to enter the bridal chamber, he actually hugged Li Yueer horizontally, which made the two of them unable to enter the door. They either touched their wife's head or touched their wife's feet, making their wife miserable.
However, it has to be said that Hu Zi is a very artistic person. When he blocks a corner of the campus with wooden boards and seals himself inside, no one knows what he is doing inside.
When the fence was opened, people were surprised to find that the beard had completed a human statue: it was the statue of the Prime Minister.This work of art not only won an award that year, but also was treasured (he had never learned human body sculpture before, which shows his high artistic talent).
Li Yueer said in "Cartoon Beard": "Parents' cultivation of children's personality is like preparing a beautiful red lion for their children as a mount. This red lion can make children fully compete with any situation in life, and can benefit both themselves and others. We cannot cultivate children with perfect personality, but at least we can prepare a red lion for our children as much as possible. This is the greatest contribution of parents to mankind and the greatest love for children."
"Cartoon Beard"
As the plot unfolds, we can't help but want to laugh, and we are deeply shocked: it turns out that many of the strange behaviors of children are not what they want, but during the process of growing up, parents do not have the elephant that allows them to control freely.
2. Some things children cannot do, but the problem is not
Li Yueer pointed out in the book:
"When parents give birth to children, they must at least equip the child with a mount that is capable of carrying him through his whole life. Therefore, when raising this mount, they must design it very carefully to see what qualities it needs, such as kindness, courage, hard work, empathy, sensitivity, ability to resist frustration, awe, have the spirit of questioning and problem solving, ability to self-discipline, ability to learn, love to learn and explore, creativity, imagination, and sense of humor, etc.."
"After planning the blueprint, parents must patiently shape these personality traits of their children. This work cannot achieve their goals by relying on preaching, copying, and Q&A. Therefore, parents must learn how to raise this mount for their children. In this way, as children's material bodies grow day by day, their personality will gradually form. By the day when the personality is built, there will be a person with a shining personality in this world. Such people will benefit all those close to him."
However, many parents do not understand these principles, but love their children based on their maternal instinct. After her neighbor got married, she and her lover were busy with their own careers, and no one wanted to let their children drag themselves down. It was not until the age of 35 that Anjing had conceived her baby.
After the baby was born, the child’s grandmother came early to help take care of her grandson. Grandma's love for her grandson not only comes from her relatives, but also from her love for her only son. Grandma took care of the child throughout the whole process, fearing that the mother would not be able to take good care of the baby, so grandma also let the child sleep with her at night.
For this belated baby grandson, the old man not only carefully feeds the baby in nutrition, but also does not let the baby suffer any grievance in daily care. The baby is fat and can't crawl when he is over one year old, let alone walk. Grandma said that some children walk late, and it doesn't matter. Later, I didn’t start learning to walk until my child was almost 2 years old.
Because the child walked late, he had never trained to crawl. It was not until he went to kindergarten that he found that the child had poor physical exercise coordination. Compared with children of the same age, their abilities are much worse.
Parents were also anxious when they watched the child’s clumsy behavior. Every day after dinner, I take my children to the playground to play football and running games.
After a period of time, although parents have made a lot of efforts, their children are always unsatisfactory in their sports coordination skills. So much so that the children become out of place and are unwilling to play with the children. They often stare blankly in the corner alone.
Later, parents asked professionals for advice on how to get the same abilities as children of the same age. Under the guidance of professional teachers, parents took their children to participate in some physical training classes.
For example, jump rope , other children can jump 100 times in a minute, while this child can only jump 10 to 20 times. For him, this is already doing his best.
children not only have poor exercise ability, but also have no hands-on ability. When I was a child, my grandmother was afraid that the child would be in danger, so she would never let her grandson move, nor would she let her grandson touch her. At the age when the child wanted to explore the world, she was restricted by the elderly and could only play in a small range.Gradually, children lose the desire to get close to nature and explore the secrets of the surrounding environment.
Each stage of life will focus on. After that age, children's interests will shift, so that in order to make up for those shortcomings, it will cost a heavy price.
Li Yueer said: From Children's Development Psychology , we know that children should develop a deep understanding of natural space, causal relationships and permanent objects in their personality at the age of 2, and should construct these concepts as the connotation of the human spirit and make them part of the spirit. Establishing a kind of judgment and handling of the causal relationship between things deep in the soul will become a reflexive ability that this person can use without having to think specifically when he grows up.
However, when faced with the problems existing in the growth of their children, many parents always think that when their children grow up, these problems that trouble them will naturally be solved. Little do they know that if they do not develop good habits in childhood, do not cultivate their sound personality, and do not form their own unique strategies for dealing with things, when they face life difficulties independently, their shortcomings in life will be revealed, thus making them full of fear of life.
"Cartoon Beard"
3. Li Yueer and her book "Cartoon Beard"
author Li Yueer are not only children's educators, art educators, and oil painters, but also founded Yueer Education, Li Yueer Ba Academy . Through her in-depth exploration over the past 40 years, she has summarized a complete set of educational concepts to provide guidance to parents and children.
Li Yueer has served as the permanent director of the Beijing Women's Directors Association; Tsinghua University Happy Campus Educator; won the title of " Huabiao Award " and "Image Ambassador" at the 3rd China International Family Education Forum, the title of "100 Outstanding Chinese Early Childhood Education in 2006", the "Education Mulan Award" at Sohu Education Ceremony, etc.; invited experts from the 2018 World Parks Conference (WPC); was an expert in education Q&A for "Parents" magazine and a signed expert in CCTV Children's Channel.
Li Yueer has successively published influential works such as " Who Takes the Children's Happiness ", "Who Takes the Children's Happiness 2", "Key Help in the Critical Period", "Honey Who Misunderstood Children's Behavior" and "Cartoon Beard".
This book "Cartoon Beard: Personality Influences Life" consists of three parts: Green years, marriage life, challenges and practice.
"Cartoon Beard"
When facing the marriage life, Li Yueer said:
"This person not only has many strange behaviors that I can't understand, but also so stupid and uncourageous. Why did I choose this man as my husband? At that time, I regretted a little. Why did he chase me and I insisted on marrying him. He chased me, and I could not marry him. This is the first time I have discovered since I got married. I married a chicken and a chicken, and a dog, but I married the wrong dog."
But at the same time, Li Yueer expressed this feeling:
"Two people have formed a family. In this case, if we are dissatisfied with each other and think that why is he lucky to 'marry me', I will be lucky to 'marry him'. As a woman, I have been wronged, always sad, and always dissatisfied, then what is ruined is the happiness of the entire family. At the same time, we not only cannot make ourselves a happy life, but also may turn the other person's good luck into bad luck because he has an unhappy wife."
"What should I do if such a situation occurs in life? The only way is to change my heart and change my view of things, don't stare at those things that make me dissatisfied, and let it become a toxic 'seed' planted in my heart."
This is Li Yueer's life wisdom, and this is also the author's extraordinary feature. When she faced a husband who did not understand common sense of life and lacked basic life skills, she went from not understanding and questioning at the beginning to being tolerant and understanding later, and finally looked at the problem completely from the perspective of her husband. After she truly understood her husband, she turned herself into the happiest woman in the world.
"Cartoon Beard"
As Li Yueer said:
Marriage allows us to practice how to change our perspective, tolerate each other's imperfections, and how to turn unhappiness into happiness. Protecting our family makes it happy, keeps it warm and makes it a comfortable nest for everyone.
In fact, each of us can try to do this, it is a very interesting life experience. Isn't it?
Chinese Family Education Society Vice President Sun Yunxiao said:
"We cannot cultivate children with perfect personality, but at least we can prepare a red lion for our children as much as possible. This is the greatest contribution to mankind and the greatest love for children as much as possible. The cartoon of beard shows that the beard does not have such a red lion, so so many cartoon stories have been created."
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