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Self-discipline is the root cause of solving all problems. If parents want their children to be excellent, then cultivate their children's self-discipline spirit from an early age.
chatted with a friend today. My friend said that he was annoyed by his children recently. His children are not self-disciplined at all in their studies and always need supervision.
sometimes doesn't urge you, and even the homework assigned by the teacher that day cannot be completed. When the teacher asks him to hand in the homework, he is still angry if he doesn't finish it.
For this reason, the two have quarreled a lot about this, but it would be useless if they quarreled.
The child still has not changed at all, and he still maintains his original state. Now I really don’t know what to do, I’m very upset.
In life, I think many parents will encounter things that their children are not self-disciplined. In fact, I have also become angry about this matter recently.
It was not until recently that I watched " The Road No One Walks " that I learned that there are the following reasons for children's lack of self-discipline.
1. Influenced by parents
2. Not planning in advance
3. Lack of love and action
The book "The Road of Few People Walk" once said:
Children's unself-discipline comes from lack of action, and action is the key to solving life problems.
How should parents cultivate their children's self-discipline?
Strictly discipline yourself , be self-disciplined parents
As parents want their children to be self-disciplined, they must first strictly demand themselves. As the saying goes: Parents are the mirror of their children, and children are the shadow of their parents.
As a parent, if you procrastinate, lazy, and like to lose your temper every day, the child will definitely be procrastinate, lazy, and like to lose his temper.
Obviously, this type of parents not only did not become good role models for their children, but also became a negative teaching material, passing bad habits to their children subtly.
From this point of view, it can be seen that excellent parents are really important to their children.
is like me. I used to tell my child not to lose his temper. If he loses his temper, he can’t help but lose his temper. After losing his temper, he tells the child that he has a bad temper.
Don't learn from me. The child agreed at that time, but next time she was angry, she began to unable to control her temper and roar.
The Road of Few People Walks says:
In the child's tender hearts, parents are their God, holy and majestic.
Children lack other imitation objects, so they will naturally accept the way their parents handle problems.
It was not until I truly realized the impact of losing my temper on my children that I began to strictly demand myself and control my emotions.
When I slowly learned to control my emotions and no longer got out of control and roared so easily, the child's emotions began to gradually improve.
So, as a parent, if you want your children to be self-disciplined and do not like to procrastinate, then start to strictly demand yourself from now on.
Only when you change yourself can your children be truly changed.
Children's self-discipline is cultivated, not forced out
Children's self-discipline spirit is not forced out, but cultivated.
Psychologists say:
People are born lazy, so there are no children born with self-discipline.
Recently, I accompanied my child to do homework and found a serious problem, which is that the self-discipline that I was proud of some time ago collapsed across the board.
Especially when children do their homework, they can really make them faint. For example, if they watch their child play in the morning, they are not asked to do their homework.
At noon, she asked her to do her homework. She said ok, and said she was sleepy halfway through writing. OK, understand, and said, then you finish math and go to bed.
When she woke up, she wrote Chinese. She said that when she finished math, she ran to play without going to bed. After dinner in the afternoon, she asked her to write Chinese.
is also very cooperative. I just wrote here, and I wrote it for most of the time. In short, the whole process was slow and dragged, which made me anxious.
Many people will say that children are procrastinating and procrastinating because they are not motivated enough, but I think the most important reason is that they are not making reasonable arrangements in advance.
is like me, the child is a little angry, but I know that this is not the child's problem, but my problem. The child is young and cannot arrange time.
I didn’t make any arrangements for her. Although she would procrastinate, it can be seen from this that it is the child who is not self-disciplined, likes to procrastinate and procrastinate?
is obviously not the case, but it is actually a problem for parents. For example, we can arrange our homework in the morning for our children to write and play all the time in the afternoon.
If you are a older child, you can ask him to arrange difficult or more questions in front, so that it will not be too late.
is still thinking or thinking about that difficult or many questions. If you can’t finish it for a long time, it will affect your emotions.
When emotions come, it will naturally affect your mood when doing things. If you are in a bad mood and are afraid of difficulties, you will think about making trouble or letting things go.
and so on are doing it later, but they don’t know that even if the problem is put, the matter does not mean that it has been solved, but rather that it is evading the problem and avoiding the problem. The result of doing this is that there are more and more problems, more and more things, and in the end there are more and more pain and difficulties.
Starting from now on, help children to plan their time and order of doing things reasonably, as well as difficulty, so that children can find their own rhythm.
The result of this is to let the child develop a good behavioral habit. This behavioral habit, will form muscle memory when the child grows up. Muscle memory is also called implicit memory , which is unconscious state . Memories of unconscious states such as
will be engraved in the child's brain and accompany the child for life, so in the future, there will be no unself-discipline for children. After self-discipline, you will not suffer because the problem is not solved.
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"The Road of Few People Walk" says:
Self-discipline is the most important tool to solve life problems and the most important method to eliminate life pain.
Give your children enough love
On the road of growth, as parents, you must give your children enough love. Love is the driving force to solve all problems of your children.
What is love for children? Loving children means giving them enough time and patience, and being willing to spend time listening to their inner needs.
is also willing to take time to understand children, because cultivating children's self-discipline is based on understanding children's inner needs.
If you don’t understand, you don’t know how to guide your child with encouragement, criticism or appropriate warnings and blame at the right time.
If there is only criticism and accusation, or endless spoiling in the process of children's growth, then there is no question of cultivating children's self-discipline.
True love is to actively guide children, not to criticize children when they are in a good mood, and when they are in a bad mood.
In fact, in essence, this is not education, but venting the long-established resentment and all kinds of dissatisfaction in the heart towards the children.
True love, with tolerance for children, encouragement with moderate criticism and accusations, everything is only for the positive and sunny of children.
Children who are positive and sunny will be full of energy in their hearts, and children who are full of energy will face and solve problems more actively.
But if children lack love, there will be a lack of love. When love is scarce, they will overdraw and consume their own happiness in advance.
is unwilling to feel the pain and challenges brought by growth, and just wants to enjoy the current comfort. When this state occurs, there is no need to be self-disciplined.
I wonder if you have discovered a phenomenon, that is, when encountering difficulties, as long as our parents are by our side, we will be full of confidence.
In fact, this is the power of love, and the power of love pushes us forward.
Scott Parker wrote in "The Road No One Walks":
The driving force of self-discipline comes from love.
The basis of self-discipline is the recognition of self-worth.
When a person feels that he is valuable,
will take all necessary measures to take care of himself and cherish himself.
Written to the end:
Parents are children's sense of security and the cradle of children's growth. Both children's luck and misfortune come from whether the soil created by parents for their children is healthy.
What do you think about this? Everyone is welcome to leave a message to discuss it.
Author introduction:
Tong Wei’s mother talks about parenting. I am a post-90s mother who loves learning and growth. I like to record myself and children in the way I write, and at the same time use stories to light up life. My wish is to live my life the way I like.
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