At about 11 o'clock in the evening, I finally couldn't bear it anymore and called his father, who was playing games in another room for nearly two minutes, and called him back.
Then I showed the message I sent to the teacher. After understanding the whole story, he asked me a question: Are girls like this now? ? ?
Adults, times have changed!
is now emphasizing feminism and calling for women to liberation. "Tomboys and tomboys" are becoming more and more tolerant. In the elementary school stage where men and women have equal strength, girls with loud voices account for the majority, while boys are still called "naughty nature". Elegant boys like our family who are not good at physique and force are not optimistic in their living environment!
Wednesday at 4 pm, the sun was shining. On the way to pick me up, I was thinking about whether to ride a bike and play Frisbee together.
was received. The young man was not very happy, and he said to me, "Mom, I don't want to have lunch at school, I want to go home."
I was shocked, I don't want to! Finally, I got the benefit of not having to cook seriously at noon, so I couldn't bear to give it up.
So I quickly fooled my son frankly: "But the fees I have paid should not be refunded."
looked embarrassed at brother: "Ah? Why! But I really have no choice but to think about going home at noon. I have been unable to fall asleep at noon for a long time."
OK, there is a bad situation, cancel outdoors, and go home to chat.
Please speak freely
When I got home, I sat down on the sofa. I asked my son to talk about the difficulties he encountered.
is still the same as before, and the same behavior.
The class teacher will be restrained when he is there. When the class teacher is away, it is common to make trouble on his son's desk and chat with classmates around him during lunch break to affect others' rest.
Chong Ge has been well versed in "the power of language" since he was a child, so reminder is inevitable.
reminds her and ignores her;
reminds her loudly and will be scolded: "Are you sick?"
retorts back and will get a gesture of contempt from others.
reminds yourself that it is useless, so it requires help from external forces.
I asked him, "Have you ever reported it to the teacher?"
The answer was that it had feedback, and the teacher asked him to observe it again at that time.
, and the observation period has passed about a month.
So, I took the initiative and sent a sincere message to the head teacher.
In the teacher's reply, I learned that the teacher had seriously criticized the female classmate, and she had indeed not observed other behaviors.
The teacher's reply was undoubtedly a reassurance for Brother Chong. He chose to ask to go home at noon instead of feedback again. Eighty times it was because he thought the teacher would not accept such incidents again.
This is how children with delicate minds are. They are easy to guess the reasons for other people's behavior, and they are easy to ignore others' real problems. They may not know the situation and have not dealt with further.
Speaking people, they just think too much.
Because of this, as a child with a delicate mind, it is particularly important to let children dare to express themselves.
The atmosphere of no evaluation, no education, or no tension is a necessary environment for children to speak.
find reasons for others
After sending the message to the teacher, the problem handling came to an end.
When we meet incredible people and encounter inexplicable things, we usually curse in our hearts: "Is this person sick?"
But when these people and things have to face every day, in addition to cursing, we also need to find a reason for the other party to make her behavior relatively rational, which is more conducive to the handling of relationships.
So, I gradually calmed down with my mood and traced the source:
Why did that girl have so many small actions?
Question 1: Is she targeting you?
The answer is no. Before the position of
was approached, this girl would not come across thousands of mountains and rivers to find fault.
Question 2: Does her grades not be very good?
The answer is yes.
There are two types of children with poor grades. One is that they will get better after working hard; the other is that they have various reasons: they have no motivation to learn, they cannot learn, and they are really poor in their foundation and have no obvious results in their efforts, etc., so they are just so bad.
The more you show off your bad child, the more boring he is. Boring people have to find something for themselves, so the person closest to her is likely to become the target of harassment.
Question 3: Did she participate in the after-class delay?
The answer is yes again.
Arrival at school at 8 am, and two classes were delayed after class, which meant that school was over at 6 am.
This child with poor grades stayed in school for 10 hours and could not run around or play blatantly.
When she returned home, she corrected and filled the remaining homework. For children with poor grades and lacked help, the time would definitely be longer, which means that her free choice time would be further reduced.
The next day, the same life continued.
This can easily form a vicious cycle. Children who have no freedom, need help but have nowhere to tell will often accumulate resentment.
Before she doesn’t have enough energy to fight adults, she will spread resentment to her peers.
Find an outlet for yourself
Chong brother was very angry when he said "out of anger". He asked me: "Then she is bored and she has resentment, so she will vent me. What about my resentment? Who am I going to vent my anger?"
This is a good question!
"If we are angry, we have to find the next object with resentment and let him be our punching bag. Then you will see a very terrible cycle: we are all looking for a weak object to vent our dissatisfaction."
Why do people abuse small animals and still get pleasure?
Except for 24k purely perverted, the rest are people who cannot find the outlet for negative emotions and are psychologically distorted.
Is there any other way to resolve negative emotions besides passing them to the next person?
There is an ugly duckling middle school in Kunming, and the principal there is named Zhan Dainian .
Once a 15-year-old girl who didn't go to school and lived with her boyfriend was sent to the Ugly Duckling Middle School because her mother was worried that she would take drugs.
The girl was very angry and hated the principal, so she wrote a letter to the principal, insulting the principal in the letter.
But the principal was not angry. He told the girl, "You must have written a letter to scold me because you trust me, because you know it's okay to scold the principal, and You solved the biggest problem in the best way . After you vented, you felt comfortable. Nothing happened to you, I didn't have anything happened to me, you made a profit, I made a profit. If you don't write a letter, what should I do if you jump off the building?"
Principal Zhan Dainian's colleagues were very angry when they saw the letter from the student insulting him, saying that it was "insulting the principal."
But he said, "Am I so fragile? Can a child in my 50s be insulted by a child? He may have insulted me, but he did not insult me. What does it matter?" When Brother Chong listened to me, he frowned to stretch his brows. After hearing this, he nodded with a smile: "Yes, he was not insulted!"
Han Xin The humiliation under his crotch back then, for himself, probably not insulted by the scoundrel who did not deserve his name.
tells these things to an eight-year-old child. Can they understand?
of course cannot, but he can understand that " for tooth " is not the only solution.
Where is the outlet for negative emotions? Parents need to help their children find it out.
So I often ask my son two questions:
"What will make you feel more comfortable?"
"What can I do for you?"
The methods that have been explored are: complaining, reading books, painting, watching the Analects of Confucius videos, and eating candy.
If you can’t bear it, do you want to beat it or not?
The wisdom left by our ancestors is very dialectical. There are "a scholar can kill but not be humiliated" and "a real man can bend and stretch", which makes people confused.
So, will be beaten or not, and the situation will be determined.
The son was harassed by a male classmate in the first grade. He reminded, warned, told the teacher, and looked for parents in various languages. I told him: "Next time, I will call him back, and after the call, I will tell that classmate: How unhappy you are now, how unhappy I am when you are fucked by you!"
Later, I heard that he really fought back. Later, it seemed that he and others were in peace.
does not fight and will not get to know each other. This sentence applies to two boys.
In the environment where classmates in the class were noisy and pushing, he gradually adapted to the way the group of primary school boys around him got along.
But this time, in the third grade, the target is girls. I absolutely reserved my opinion on whether to take action. One of the signs of people’s maturity: bow to reality!
After all, after taking action, the pressure on public opinion may exceed our tolerance.
"A boy is so petty!"
won: "What is the ability to win a girl?!"
lost: "Even a girl can't beat you, you're too timid."
, no matter whether it is reasonable or not, no matter what the result is, if you attack the girl, the public opinion is very unfriendly.
Moreover, our goal has always been to strive to be a better self, right?
If you are disturbed by others, you will stop learning.
It is a very painful thing for children to endure, after all, the word "tolerance" is a knife.
But one step back is broad, not to endure, but to change one way of thinking and resolve it.
Brother Chong told me that he admired Lao Zhao’s point of view: it is difficult for him to be insulted. But if he really wants to rush up and fight with others, he will often be held back by himself.
I asked him, "Why stop it? Isn't it good for the person who has no mouths to be beaten?"
said to Brother Chong, "No, it wasted each other's time and mood, and it wasted the time and mood of us friends waiting for Lao Zhao."
OK, young man, you are quite open-minded.
Although, if Brother Chong finally chose to take action, I must still stand firmly on his side. There is no doubt about this!
