Issue 306 "Tutoring Micro Classroom"
No need to cultivate children requires "perfection", but seek "completeness". Each fruit in looks different, and so do children. Rousseau said that nature hopes that children will look like children before adults.
If we disrupt this order, some fruits will ripen early and they will soon rot. Everything in the world will grow in their original form, and parents do not need to desperately rewind for their children's growth.
Education philosopher Whitehead once pointed out that "science education, technical education and humanities education complement each other and are indispensable." Functional education that opposes spirit and body, thoughts and actions is a "worst education."
For children's development, if they lack culture and complete personality training, blindly pursuing "perfect" education is flawed. Organic education advocates: Children do not need to pursue perfection and perfection in everything in the growth of children, but should pay more attention to their integrity in personality and physical and mental health.
"Perfect" education seems to pursue excellence, but in fact it violates the laws of children's education. Nowadays, many parents only care about their academic performance and do not allow their children to make any mistakes in the exam. If a child keeps practicing questions from childhood to adulthood and to get high scores all day long, it may appear that "high mean, low standard deviation" is the phenomenon of "low mean, high standard deviation" in knowledge mastery and personality development - because of the education intra-sample, the average score of children is relatively high, and the knowledge mastery is concentrated on the main subject. In terms of interests, I will learn whatever you learn, uniform, and lack personality development; the overall level of psychology and personality improvement is relatively low, and the gap between them is relatively large.
When a child is asked to be excellent or even full marks in every subject, he has no time to develop his personality and expand his interests. In a sense, "perfect" development is actually equivalent to "mediocre" development. The most important thing in a person’s life is to shake hands with the imperfections of life. Only when you can truly accept the shortcomings of yourself and others will you realize that a beautiful life is so simple.
Huawei founder Ren Zhengfei has a wonderful metaphor: "The melon grows crookedly, which shows that there is enough sugar; the cracked dates are actually mature. No one is perfect, and people should use their strengths."
Therefore, the employment principle of Huawei is: First, oppose perfectionism, an organization needs all kinds of talents, and rejecting dissidents and homogeneity means the loss of corporate vitality; second, enterprises must have the ability to be open and inclusive, especially to accommodate some employees who can put forward constructive criticism, which must be able to guarantee it from the perspective of organization and incentives. This is an example of pursuing completeness and opposing perfection.
Children's growth cannot be separated from moderate "imperfect" education. "The greatest perfection in life is to accept the imperfection in life." "What can be achieved in life is destined to be limited."... Parents should pass on similar concepts to their children and tell them that imperfection is the norm in life.
Children who have this kind of cognition since childhood can face individual defects and imperfections in life calmly, and only then will they have a positive and strong mentality. On the contrary, if the concept of pursuing perfection is too much instilled, such as "must be an excellent student and go to a famous Ivy League school" and "must become a scientist (social elite, rich person)", the child may live a very anxious life and even lose himself.
Therefore, moderate "imperfect" education should be vigorously promoted today. Although parents should encourage their children to strive for the best and pursue excellence, when their children are too determined to win or are unable to do so, let them ease. Continuing to encourage or even force him to blindly "climb" may hurt the child. Parents should let their children understand that we can accept failure and look for gains and joy in an imperfect ordinary life.
Indian philosopher Krishnamuti once said: "The greatest task of education is to produce a complete person who can handle life in a holistic manner.”
For this reason, I have been advocating this children's education concept for more than 10 years:
1. Organic education does not expect the harvested fruit to look exactly the same and perfect;
2. I hope that children will grow up without pollution, non-quick growth, conform to the natural nature of children and have different personalities;
3. I do not advocate letting go after sowing, and letting them grow freely and barbaric. It emphasizes that "field management" should be done well. fertilized when it should be applied, and worms should be removed when it should be removed;
4. Everyone's growth cannot be perfect, but life should be complete and fulfilling.
Source: "Marriage and Family" magazine
