Today I saw an article in Q&A. A brother said that his family was not in good condition when he was a child. After I finished junior high school, I worked with my father to support my younger brother in undergraduate and graduate school. Later, my younger brother got married. My younger brother and sister are from the city and have good conditions. She even got married in a car house after getting married. His younger brother changed his destiny because of his study.
The author lives in the countryside with his parents. His younger brother and sister usually sends money to support his parents and comes back on holidays. Except for this, it is all contacted by phone. He has a pair of twin sons who are about to be in the fourth grade. After experiencing the differences in urban and rural education, he plans to transfer the child to the city to study and live at his younger brother's house. He thought that his younger brother could have what he is today was all up to him, so his younger brother would agree.
So I brought a lot of specialties with my wife to my younger brother's house, and my younger brother and sister warmly treated them. During the meal, the author mentioned that he had his two children transferred to the city to go to school. The younger brother said that transferring to school was not easy and that the child's grades were not very good, and he was afraid that the city would not be able to keep up. The author said that his younger brother's father-in-law is the leader of the Education Bureau, and transferring schools is just a matter of one word. The younger brother and sister are both intellectual children living in such an environment. The long-term educational achievements will definitely improve, and of course they will not live in vain. The author will pay for food.
Results As soon as I finished speaking, my younger brother and sister said that her father was in a critical period of promotion and inspection, and it was inconvenient to do business. Moreover, there was a daughter who was in kindergarten at home and she didn't have the energy to take care of my two children, not to mention that my two boys and his girls were inconvenient. He was stunned for a moment, looking at each other with his wife, while his younger brother lowered his head to eat without saying a word. What should they do?
After seeing this question and answer, I thought about it and felt that I could answer this question because my family is a big rural family. I was born and raised in a small city. It just so happened that both my brother and younger brother could understand it.
First of all, it must be said that people’s ideas are affected by the environment they are in, so there is no need to blame either brother or brother for being wrong.
Because of the poor family conditions, my brother went out to work with his father after graduating from junior high school to study. Now his younger brother is in the city, and he wants his children to live in his younger brother's place and study in the city. He can understand the idea of hoping that his son will become a success. Indeed, my brother was helpful to his younger brother's growth before, and I will not deny this. But the two brothers usually communicate less frequently. The brother is still the same rural brother. The younger brother is no longer the older brother, so the older brother thinks that the younger brother will agree.
Brother thinks this way because of the living environment of large rural families in the past. In the past, the large rural families had a large population, and the elders at home would concentrate various resources to support the children who could study to make a name for themselves, while the other children were busy with farm work, housework and other things. When those children who have studied have a promising career, they will instead help those children who are busy with farm work and housework, so that the entire family will live a better life. I don’t think there is anything strange about his ideas, because I have already said that people’s thoughts are affected by the environment. This is what big rural families do. People who have been living in the city will not understand, but please respect them!
And my sister-in-law, who is from a city, is also a leader of the Education Bureau. She has lived in the city since she was a child. She has good living conditions and should not be used to the fact that she suddenly came to her hometown in the countryside for a long time. My brother is a relatively straightforward person and has something to say, so he mentioned that his brother’s father-in-law works in the Education Bureau. Can he help? He said this because he had too high expectations for his younger brother and sister-in-law, but this would indeed make his younger sister-in-law disgusted and difficult to do things. Moreover, her daughter is still young, and it will be very busy to take care of her brother's child, which can even be said to be thankless. So after measuring, she politely expressed her rejection. This is indeed a high emotional intelligence approach.
The younger brother was afraid of his wife because of his poor family conditions at home. If his brother's children really went to his house, his family might cause various family conflicts in the future. So when his wife expressed her rejection, he had already secretly expressed his support for his wife without saying a word.
Secondly, my brother actually has a few questions that he didn't think about carefully:
1. If the child goes to the city to study, can he transfer to school? It is not easy to transfer to school with me. I don’t know what the local situation is in my brother who asked the question. Assuming that the most perfect situation is that the child can really transfer to school to study in the city, it is best to find a job in the city, rent a house, and not send the child to his uncle and aunt as suggested by other answerers. If the two sons really go to the younger brother, will they listen to their uncles and aunts? Will you take the initiative to help with housework and other things? It seems that most children nowadays don’t have this self-consciousness. If they agree, it will be thankless. In the past, there were too many unhappy endings. So it is indeed very difficult for them to let their two children go to their younger brother and sister-in-law's house to cause trouble. It is normal to be rejected, so there is no need to complain.
2. Children need the company of their parents, so that they can stay with their parents and urge them to study better. Learning is very important, but good personality cultivation such as honesty, trustworthiness, confidence and optimism, kindness and tolerance are also very important. This requires parents to teach it personally. In reality, teachers in schools almost never taught this. A person with education can help him go higher, but having good character can help him go further.
’s final suggestion: Brother should rely on himself, there is no need to continue to get entangled with brother because of this matter. Be careful that my brother will be afraid of you when he sees you in the future.
