text | Zhu Sinyong
First, isolate the child from the quarrel between husband and wife.
Isolation to do 5:
1. Don’t let the children know.
2. Don’t take the initiative to complain to your children.
3. Don’t seek help from your child to pull your husband back.
4. Don’t let your children choose the camp to help.
5. Don’t quarrel in front of your children.
Children cannot solve the problem of you couples. Of course, this is not a matter within the scope of the child's responsibilities. Pulling the child into the battle will put a lot of pressure on the children, which will make them distorted, painful, anxious and powerless.
The child is powerless to stop his parents from quarreling, and will only be hurt by his parents' quarrels. The marriage is filled with quarrels and various intense and uneasy emotions, which will hurt the child a lot. He will think it is his own fault, which causes mutual attacks and accusations between parents. He will also attack and accuse himself. He will grow up in a tense, quarrels and uneasy environment for a long time, and his psychology will collapse.
Second, the way to communicate with children.
If the child knows that his father is betrayed, or he feels that the atmosphere at home is wrong and has been affected, or asks some questions, parents should not lie or avoid it. They should tell the child directly, skillfully and proactively:
(1) Some problems have occurred in the relationship between my husband and I. I believe you have also felt that we have indeed had some problems with our husband and wife.
(2) These problems are between us husband and wife, not caused by you, nor are they able to solve them, nor are they caused by what you did wrong. This is a matter between us, and only we can solve it.
(3) My husband and I are currently actively and hardworking to solve the problem. We have some challenges, and we choose to face the problems and actively solve them.
(4) No matter what state we are currently in and what difficulties we encounter when solving problems, as fathers and mothers, we all love you very much, and this will never change.
Maybe we are under some pressure now and sometimes we can't do it as good as before, which makes you disappointed or hurt, and we are also sad and sad. We will make more adjustments in the future. I hope you know that the love our parents have for you remains unchanged.
(5) Baby, if you have any questions or confusions, you must raise them. If you have any thoughts in your mind, you can tell us.
Third, isolate both parents.
Both parents have thicker blood than water. Don’t be ruthless to parents to be able to handle the water equally, and don’t expect their parents to play a big role (unless this man respects his parents-in-law very much, listens to his parents-in-law very much, and his parents-in-law also supports you).
Let parents know:
(1) There was something wrong with our marriage and some incidents happened, it was not that people were bad.
(2) For marriage, neither of us is willing to give up, and we will not choose to divorce hastily.
(3) Although something happens, it will also happen. At present, the two of us are actively solving it. I hope that the elderly on both sides will give us some time and space to deal with it ourselves.
Do not complain to your parents or bring both parents into the battle, and do not complain to your parents or seek justice. This will only expand the situation of the war and may make the problem more complicated and intensify. It was originally a problem that couples could solve when they were closed, but now it has become a quarrel between the two families, which has a counterproductive effect.
or above are how to isolate the elderly and children after extramarital affairs and how to communicate with the elderly and children.
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