I wonder if parents have all encountered this situation: starting from kindergarten, the babies in the family will kiss and hug each other, and even call themselves "boyfriends" and "girlfriends", and will also tell you when they grow up. I want to marry someone in the future. Ho

I don’t know if parents have encountered this situation:

Since the babies in the family started to go to kindergarten, they would kiss and hug each other , and even call themselves "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" . It will also tell you who you want to marry when you grow up and so on.

How could such a young child come up with such an idea? Could it be that someone with good intentions led me to bad things in the kindergarten?

Actually, it is completely normal . This kind of intimate behavior between children of the opposite sex, as well as the phenomenon of saying that they want to marry someone, are manifestations of children entering the sensitive period of marriage.

Sun Ruixue, a child education expert, pointed out in "Capturing Children's Sensitive Periods":

"The sensitive period of marriage generally occurs after the child is 4 years old. Some will enter the initial stage of the sensitive period of marriage when they are over 13 years old."

The initial manifestation of this stage is 's love for his parents.. This is because children's initial understanding of men or women is derived from their parents' understanding. At this time, the girl will say that I want to marry my father, and the boy will say that I want to marry my mother.

After a period of time, the child's understanding of marriage will also gradually develop. For example, they will find that: to get married, you must marry someone of the same age~ Then they will choose a partner among their friends.

Original writer Li Xingming's new book "Mr. Otter's Wedding" can help children better understand the meaning of "marriage". When

was giving lectures offline, every child present carefully put on their own veil and bow tie, as if they were really the one getting married. The whole process was full of a sense of ceremony. During the autograph session after the event, there was a little girl clamoring to marry Li Xingming!

But we must know that these are all derived from children’s initial understanding of the opposite sex and marriage. We should protect their innocence at this moment and help them establish a correct view of love and marriage in the future.

After a period of development, when children are about 5 years old, they will suffer from liking it (in fact, it often happens to adults as well).

When they are about 6 years old, they will accept this problem calmly: You are very good, so besides me, there will be others who like you; you can choose others, or you can choose me, it doesn’t matter...

The latest release of "Geek" In the fifth volume of "Zoroli", there is a book called "Zoroli is getting married?" ", which humorously shows the characteristics of children at this stage -

The story tells that in order to escape the pursuit of the police, Zoroli disguised himself as a woman named "Zoro Megumi", but ended up falling in love with the policeman Inu Taku. , after some twists and turns, Zoroli ran away from the wedding again...

And the back cover of this book reveals the final outcome of the story - 2 years after Zoroli escaped, the heartbroken Inu Taku was executed because of During the mission, he heroically protected the female star "Miss Cindy" and finally got married to Miss Cindy. And this Miss Cindy turned out to be the object of Zoroli's pursuit, which also made Zoroli feel very complicated.

Although this ending is a bit absurd, in addition to being hilarious, we also hope to convey this concept to children: marriage cannot be based on impulse, and love must be expressed with appropriate behavior, etc...

In addition, children in kindergarten stage Children may also be in the sensitive period of language expression and at the same time. At this stage, they have a strong desire to express themselves, but they may just want to say something to see how adults will react. In fact, they do not fully understand the true meaning of what they say.

Adults can listen calmly and respect the child's feelings; or they can use behaviorist Skinner's " extinction method" to respond calmly and treat it as if the child is discussing delicious food and fun with us.

Be careful not to interrupt or reprimand your children. Of course, you don't have to show interest deliberately, because this will invisibly strengthen the child's performance.

Of course, the most important thing is to tell children: respect, equality and awareness of boundaries. For example, tell them: you need to ask for the other person's consent when kissing others, and you can't let other children touch your private parts casually, etc.

Childhood is a process of pure emotional cultivation and emotional development. What a child develops and accomplishes in a few months, an adult may not be able to solve in 10 years or a lifetime.

solves the problems of this period and will help children improve their emotional world, improve their family relationships, and improve their marital relationships.

"The sensitive period of marriage is actually the first time that children begin to be involved in moral issues in the adult world. Because many mothers are not clear about this issue, they order their children not to talk about this issue or to interact with each other. This concept not only destroys children's sensitivity to marriage. period, and at the same time, some ambiguous consciousness and bad ideologies concepts were forced into the children prematurely. "

- Sun Ruixue's "Sensitive Period of Marriage"

To sum up, when the sensitive period of marriage arrives, Every one of us parents should be happy. Because:

1. It is completely normal for children to say "they want to marry XX". This comes from their initial understanding of the opposite sex and marriage.

2. Parents should guide correctly and should not avoid talking or scold severely, nor should they pay too much attention.

3. The most important thing is to teach children respect, equality and boundary awareness, to express their feelings politely, and to learn to protect themselves at the same time.