Adolescent children always make parents either love them or hate them. Faced with their performance, parents can always list various "crimes". But among their incomprehensible behaviors, how many are intentional, and how many are influenced by their own physiology? Do parents really know?
Children always lose their temper and show off to others at every turn. Is this because they are deliberately going against us? A child is like an owl . When it is time to sleep, he is still full of energy. Everyone gets up in the morning, but he is still sleeping in. Is this purely a child's playfulness and sleepiness? The child ignores others and locks himself in the room for several days in a row. Is this a normal emotional expression or is there some psychological problem?
In fact, many of a child's behaviors are affected by his own growth and development, rather than deliberately targeting his parents or others. Let’s explore the reasons behind these behaviors and how parents should respond.
1. Emotional problems: Why are children often moody?
Adolescent children are always emotional. They can be happy and angry at one moment, and can suddenly go from one extreme to another, giving people a moody and unstable feeling.
Children's emotions are changeable, and parents' emotions are bound to be affected. Many parents do not understand this change in their children and wonder what is wrong with their children. What's worse is that most of the time, parents are powerless to do anything about it, and that feeling is particularly uncomfortable.
In fact, there are reasons why teenagers are moody. During adolescence, the brain develops extremely rapidly, and the areas of the brain that manage emotions, feelings, and excitement undergo important changes, which require a relatively long period of time to stabilize. This is a very powerful force that makes it difficult for teenagers to control it. own emotions.
Therefore, when children have severe mood swings, we should not only not blame them, but also find ways to help children manage their emotions. Parents can try this:
First of all, love is the core.
Our concern, tolerance and understanding of our children can alleviate their emotional fluctuations. Families with good parent-child relationships will have fewer children's emotional problems.
Secondly, when parents and children have a dispute, parents should leave temporarily before their emotions explode, and then ask themselves why? Or chat with others and talk about your own affairs with experienced people, which can also help you calm down.
Then, be honest with your child about your emotions.
Chinese parents are very reserved, so it may be a little difficult to do this. When a child is young, it seems natural to say that you love him, but as the child grows older, it seems that love cannot be expressed.
But we still have to try to do this and tell our children that we love him, but his behavior makes us uncomfortable. In fact, when a child enters adolescence, he will still long for the love of his parents, so he boldly says that he loves her.
Finally, parents must cooperate and support each other.
Parents must become the best partners when it comes to raising children. Sometimes one person can speak up and the other person can silently support behind the scenes.
If disagreements arise, parents should reach an agreement first and face their children's problems together. Mutual respect and cooperation between parents can also make children's emotions more peaceful.
2. Sleep: Why do children go to bed late and don’t wake up early?
When children enter adolescence, another thing that worries parents is that their children like to sleep in.
It was already late at night, but the lights in the children's rooms were still on. Parents guessed that the children were either playing with their mobile phones or talking on the phone with their classmates. The parents' faces turned dark when they thought of this.
In fact, the fact that children are still not sleepy at night is related to a kind of melatonin in their bodies. During early adolescence, the release of melatonin is delayed by two hours than usual. Therefore, children go to sleep later than the average person. In adolescence, it takes nine hours for them to get enough sleep.
Children usually have a heavy academic workload and may sleep for about six hours a day, so on weekends, it is not surprising that they will enter a state of catching up on sleep and sleep until 12 noon. Some experts have conducted experiments and found that if children are allowed to sleep until they wake up naturally, they will generally sleep about 9.5 hours a day.
Sleep is very important to a child's body, study, and life. The importance of sleep cannot be overemphasized. So how can you help your children have healthy sleep habits?
1. Discuss sleep issues with children and emphasize the importance of sleep.
2. Help children make a schedule for evening activities.
3. Insist that children go to bed at bedtime, put mobile phones outside the bedroom, and dim the lights in the bedroom to create a good night's sleep. Environment
4. If your child still can't fall asleep, you can try methods to promote sleep with your child, such as drinking a hot drink, soaking your feet, and listening to light music
5. Don't criticize your child for sleeping late on weekends
3. Psychology: How to distinguish between psychological problems and What are normal emotional reactions in adolescence?
Teenagers’ mental health is a broad topic that requires professional psychological knowledge. Here we will briefly talk about how parents can identify whether their child is having a normal emotional reaction or whether there is a problem with his mental health.
Adolescent children are under pressure from all aspects and are prone to various emotional problems such as tension, anxiety, and worry. They have high mood swings and are irritable.
Sometimes they ignore their parents for days and shut themselves up in their rooms. At this time, my parents saw it and were anxious in their hearts. I am secretly worried that my child may have some psychological problems? Parents are reminded to pay attention to the following aspects:
1. How long has the child’s emotional problems lasted?
2. How severe are the symptoms?
3. Has it affected children’s study and life?
4. Has it affected your family?
Generally speaking, if a child's emotional problems last for more than two weeks, and the symptoms are severe and have affected the normal functions of the child and family, parents should pay enough attention and seek help from a professional doctor.
If a child really has a psychological problem, in addition to taking the child to a professional institution for help, parents should also do the following:
1. Try to master as much information as possible. Now that the Internet is powerful, it is very difficult to search for some information. Easy to do. Only in this way can we give children more scientific support.
2. Children may be ashamed of mental illness, unwilling to talk about it, and afraid that others will call them mentally ill. Parents should try their best to eliminate this stigma, and ask schools or other institutions to ensure that they are fair to their children and do not discriminate against them.
3. In addition to the same parenting methods as normal children, parents should also give this child some more special care, such as learning to identify problems instead of denying them; looking for the positive side of the child to improve the child's self-esteem; standing on the child's side approach the problem from their perspective, rather than imposing adult solutions on them.
Puberty is a test for both children and parents. I hope we know more about our children, understand them more, and accompany them with love and patience, so that our children will eventually move towards adulthood smoothly.
