Little girl reading books must be deleted for infringement
On the road to raising children, it is not only children that need education, but also parents. Only in this way can excellent children be raised.
Recently, I have been reading "Mentalist Education". After reading , I have a deep impression of my children's education, especially as parents.
As parents, we not only need to ask our children to change and grow, but we also need to accompany our children to change and grow together.
instead of asking children to change one-sidedly, while parents who are standing still and do not learn and cannot grow up, not only will they be physically and mentally exhausted on the road of parenting, but their children will also be physically and mentally exhausted and burdened. The honor in the book
is because my father has always treated honor in the way he thinks it is right. He did not start to reflect on it until the honor was depressed and committed suicide.
In fact, many parents make this mistake in life, because we always use past experience and the attitude of protectors.
is used to discipline children, because in our concept, we will think that I am doing this right, but we don’t know that the way we think is right is actually not what children want.
Just like watching "Big Test" , Wenwen once said, why do adults always say that children are picky about food? Because parents cook the dishes they like.
They do not consider what children like to eat, nor do they seek their children's opinions, so when the children do not eat, they will say that the children are picky about their food.
From here we can see that children and parents are always not on the same parallel line. Children have their own ideas and parents have their own parents’ thinking.
As parents, we are not going to reverse and force children and let them follow us, but change ourselves and move forward with our children.
Raising children is not about competing for the win or loss with the children, because no matter who wins or loses, it will affect the parent-child relationship in the end.
What we need to do is not to win the child, but to win the child.
is like the honor in the book. The father won her with his authority, but it was also from then on that time that their parent-child relationship began to appear rifts.
Honored Father loved and loved her very much when she was a child. Until after going to elementary school, her father seemed to have become a different person.
started to focus only on her grades, no longer focused on what she really needed, and began to control her and demanded very high on her.
In particular, when talking to her father about what she encountered in school, her father always criticized her harshly, saying that it must be that she did not do it well. Since the teacher said it, study hard and don’t just know how to play every day.
At the beginning, she just listened and started to reason with her father. When the reason didn't make sense, she started to quarrel with her father.
It started to accumulate in her heart until the quarrel didn't work. Until she was in junior high school, she felt that she could not bear it anymore.
began to resist. When she vented the negative emotions that had been accumulated for many years, her father said that she used to be quite well-behaved, but now she is in this state.
must have made bad friends, and even treated her more severely, and constantly used her father's authority to force honor to listen to her.
Until the honor could not withstand the authority and oppression of his father, as well as the sarcasm of his classmates and teachers in the school, he began to suffer from insomnia. At the beginning, the father was really afraid that the honor would get sick, so he took honor everywhere to see the doctor.
But after seeing it for a long time, the doctor said that she was not sick, and her father felt that the honor was not sick, so he said that she pretended and asked her to adjust and go to school immediately.
This made the honor of psychological collapse and the inner defense completely collapse. You can just take sleeping pills to end your life.
It was not until the father took sleeping pills that he realized that there was a problem and stopped asking his children for it, but began to change himself.
Let’s take a look at what parents need to change the most on the road of parenting?
Don’t just focus on grades, but also on children’s psychology
On the road of parenting, we should not only pay attention to children’s grades, but also on children’s psychology. Only children with mentally healthy can go further.
is like the honor in the book. When I was a child, my father often played with her to meet all the physical and psychological needs of the honor, but since I went to school.
The father began to focus only on achievements and ignore the mental health of honor, which made the honor that was originally lacking in maternal love and even more lacking in his heart.
A child, during her growth, all her emotions need to be seen by her parents, and understood and accepted.
But if you only focus on grades and ignore the child's psychology, the child's negative emotions will be accumulated in your heart, and you have nowhere to talk about it.
This will form a wrong perception of the world and begin to deny yourself until you can't bear it, and start to feel depressed and collapse.
Before the child’s mind is mature, all her cognition is derived from the parent, the environment and the views of her people around her.
As parenting people, we must see the child’s feelings as soon as possible, and give them understanding, respect and acceptance.
is like a father of honor. Later, he no longer only focuses on his children's grades, but starts to pay more attention to his children's psychological needs and health.
Because of the changes of his father, Honor slowly emerged from a depressed state and began to embrace his father who had always loved him deeply.
Learn to respect, instead of oppressing
On the road to raising children, as parents, you must learn to respect children, instead of using the authority of parents to make children obey.
Authoritative obedience is just obedient on the surface, but the child is rebellious and resistant in his heart. Over time, the child will feel hostile.
is like the honor in the book. It obeys the father on the surface, but it is particularly resistant in the heart, knowing that you cannot resist the father's authority.
just used suicide to resist. In fact, she didn't know why she committed suicide. She just felt that no one understood and felt that she was in too much pain.
According to psychologist research:
In fact, this is a challenge to authority. Since I cannot overwhelm you when I live, then I will use death to make you compromise.
It is conceivable that using authority to oppress children to make them obey is actually a great harm to children because they are under oppression.
will directly ignore the child's voice and opinions, always feel that you are right and the child is wrong, and thus do not respect your child.
But as the child grows older, his awareness of independence increases little by little. She is extremely needed to be recognized, respected, understood and accepted.
So, at this time, you must no longer love your children in the authority of your parents or the way we think is right, but learn to respect your children.
Because, in the true sense, we love our children in ways that children like and suit them.
This is the love that parents need most and most for their children.
Lower attitude, from questioning to listener
As parents, you must learn to lower attitude, don’t encounter things, just blame or question your children, but learn to listen.
As children grow up, many of the problems of children are actually caused by their parents' unwilling to listen.
Because, only by listening to the true feelings of children’s hearts can we understand the problems and confusions encountered by children as soon as possible.
can help children as soon as possible. If children encounter problems, we will not listen, but question and accuse them. After a long time, we will not listen.
Children will no longer seek help, but will bear it silently by themselves. When they can't bear it in their hearts, it will cause depression and rebellion.
On the road to raising children, we are not only parents, but also friends of children, especially those who are in adolescence.
also requires parents to lower their posture, listen to their children's voices, and give them the right guidance and sense of security when their children are confused and helpless.
Lower attitude is the wisdom of parents and the embodiment of a high pattern.
What do you think about this? Welcome to leave a message to discuss it!
Author introduction:
Tong Wei’s mother talks about parenting. I am a second-child mother born in the 1990s who loves learning and growth. I like to record myself and my children in the way I write, and at the same time, I use stories to light up my life. My wish is to live my life the way I like.
Little girl reading book must delete if infringement
